


Close Quarters

by Laragh



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Non-Supernatural, m rating for smut towards the end, mentions of familial abuse, very minor violence towards the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-15
Updated: 2010-09-05
Packaged: 2019-09-30 00:56:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 53,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17214086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laragh/pseuds/Laragh
Summary: What happens when Willow and Tara are thrown together far away from home? Tara is guarded, Willow has a lonely past. They both want to be loved. Can they find it together?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted @ [The Kitten Board](http://thekittenboard.net/thekitt/viewtopic.php?t=6035) in August 2010

Willow laid all her clothes out on her bed and kicked her now-emptied suitcase under it, blowing the small piece of red hair that was hanging down over her forehead out of her eyes and sighing as she thought of the fact that she would have to stay in the surroundings she was currently in for the next nine months – hell in her opinion. Though being back in her own home over the summer months just gone by hadn’t exactly been heaven on earth either.  
  
  
She kicked the foot of the bed in frustration over her entire life before the sound of a door banging made her jump back in surprise. She turned and saw a brunette girl, around her height walking into the room, her head down as she wheeled a plain black case behind her.  
  
  
“I-is t-this r-room 63?” the girl asked, still looking down.  
  
  
“Uh, yea,” Willow replied, surprised at the girl’s shyness, “Um...are you my roommate? Like, did the orientation people downstairs say this was your room? You look new is all, I don’t recognise you from last year. But, uh, I’m still a relative newbie myself so...”  
  
  
“I’m n-new.”  
  
  
“Oh right,” Willow nodded, moving forwards, “Um, well I’m Willow. Rosenberg.”  
  
  
The girl finally looked up and Willow felt her mouth go dry, the lost moisture going to her palms as she looked into the face of her new roommate.  
  
  
_Holy cheeseballs, she’s gorgeous!_  
  
  
“T-Tara.”  
  
  
“Hi, Tara,” Willow replied, blushing bright red when her voice came out in a high-pitched squeak. She cleared her throat quickly and wiped her hand against her jeans before extending it, “Nice to meet you.”  
  
  
Tara seemed hesitant but eventually took the redhead’s hand and shook it firmly. Willow saw her eyes widen before she dropped both her gaze and her hand, walking over to the other bed that was in the room they were in, the only furniture apart from a nightstand beside each bed, a bookcase and a large built-in wardrobe.  
  
  
“Um, you’re American,” Willow said, wanting to keep conversing with this Tara, feeling an odd pull to her, “Me too. Um, probably obvious. A lot of the girls here are, but not all of them. Where are you from?”  
  
  
Tara hauled her case onto the bed and unzipped it, her back to Willow. She looked down at her hand, gulping as she remembered the electric shock she had felt go through her when before shaking off that thought.  
  
  
_Wrong, Tara. Wrong._  
  
  
She heard her new roommate ask her a question and thought it best to answer, not wanting to be rude, especially since this girl seemed to be really nice.  
  
  
“Alabama.”  
  
  
“I’m from California,” Willow offered a moment later, “Not really close to you. But, ah, both of them have an ‘al’ sound in them. Right there at the start. And you know... they end with ‘a’.”  
  
  
Willow groaned internally at her words.  
  
  
_Well done Rosenberg. Quite literally the most stupid thing you could’ve said._  
  
  
“Well, I’m, um...I’m just over here if you need anything.”  
  
  
Willow started to retreat back to her bed, thoroughly embarrassed until she noticed Tara turn, looking at her curiously.  
  
  
“Is, um...is there something on my face or something?” Willow asked, wiping at her face, wondering how else she was going to embarrass herself in front of this gorgeous goddess.  
  
  
“N-no,” Tara shook her head, blushing, “Y-you’re just n-not w-w-what I was expecting.”  
  
  
“Oh,” Willow nodded with a smile, instantly understanding what the brunette meant, “You were expecting some stuck-up bitch who thought she was better than everyone?”  
  
  
Tara shrugged but gave a small nod.  
  
  
“I won’t lie to you, most of the girls here are like that. I kinda assumed I’d get the same in a roommate. You’re not really what I was expecting, either. I don’t think many of the students of the ‘Maple Leaf Academy – Girl’s Boarding School for the Progression of Excellence,” Willow continued, speaking in a mocking voice as she listed off the tagline of the school they were both in, “Have a stuttering problem. Nope they’re all about the confidence. Stupid overconfidence.”  
  
  
Willow saw Tara’s head drop again at her words and suddenly realising what she said, started shaking her head frantically.  
  
  
“Oh Tara, shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t...God, you come to a place like this and you expect to be teased and then I just...I wasn’t teasing you, I promise I wasn’t teasing you and, well, the others are probably gonna tease you, the girls here can be pretty mean, but I wasn’t, I’d never... I actually think the stutter is super cute, and if anyone ever says anything I promise I’ll stick up for you, there’s like a roommate code or something, especially when you’re roommate seems so nice, like you and-”  
  
  
“W-Willow?”  
  
  
Willow stopped talked at the sound of her name, thankful she’d been snapped out of babble-mode and gave the brunette an apologetic look.  
  
  
“I wasn’t teasing.”  
  
  
“I-it’s okay,” Tara replied with a weak smile, “I-I’m u-used to p-people t-teasing me about it.”  
  
  
“But, Tara, I wasn’t, I promise.”  
  
  
“I know.”  
  
  
“Oh,” Willow smiled, “Good. Great. I, uh, I get teased about speaking stuff, too. You mighta noticed I tend to babble. They call me the ‘Never-Ending Willow’ here.”  
  
  
“I t-think the babble’s c-cute,” Tara responded, before going pale as she realised what she said and ducking her head again.  
  
  
Willow frowned at how often the brunette seemed to do that, she clearly had a serious confidence problem, stemming from where the redhead had no idea – how a girl that beautiful could have any issues with her own self-assurance baffled her, but clearly she did. She felt compelled to help her with that, despite only knowing her for less than an hour before a thought crossed her mind.  
  
  
“Tara? Can I ask you a question? You totally don’t have to answer, just tell me to stop being so nosy if you want, I promise I won’t be offended, but...why’re you here? It’s just you seem so...normal.”  
  
  
Maple Leaf Academy – Girl’s Boarding School for the Progression of Excellence – as Willow had spouted off before – was an American-based boarding school placed in a small town in Switzerland that was basically a hub where spoilt, rich kids were sent when their parents didn’t want to deal with them. Willow hated the whole cliché of it and hated her fellow students even more – all were money and self-obsessed, two qualities she couldn’t stand and she had yet to meet one other person in the school who didn’t seem to possess them.  
  
  
“Oh,” Tara replied, looking down, “Um, well, my D-Dad...he kind of c-caught me in a c-c-c-compromising position and h-he t-thought b-boarding school w-would t-teach me discipline. He’s b-b-big into t-the discipline.”  
  
  
Tara winced slightly as she remembered the many bruises she’d received in the name of her father’s ‘discipline’ but shook it off, not wanting the other girl to notice. She’d had the summer from hell and had been secretly delighted when she’d been told she was being sent to boarding school, away from him and her equally-violent brother. The fact that it was in Europe was even better, as far away from them as possible.  
  
  
Willow nodded, not wanting to probe any further since her new roommate seemed nervous enough already. She was going to turn back and to her own bed when Tara’s voice piped up again.  
  
  
“W-what about y-you?”  
  
  
“Oh...” Willow replied, “Uh...”  
  
  
“Y-y-you d-d-don’t h-have t-to,” Tara quickly began backtracking, “S-s-sorry.”  
  
  
Willow shook her head, feeling bad that she’d made the brunette stutter that badly.  
  
  
“No, it’s fine. Really. There was just an, um, incident at my school back at home at the winter dance last year, when I was a junior. I got expelled and my parents thought the easiest way to deal with me was so send me away, so I’ve only been here since that last part of last year, that’s why I haven’t had a roommate before. They put me in by myself ‘cause I arrived mid-year. But uh, yea, my parents. I think they loved that they finally got an excuse to get rid of me, god only knows why they decided to have a child in the first place, it’s not like they even raised me. The nanny did until I went to junior high and then I just looked after myself the rest of the way. But, uh, you probably didn’t want the Rosenberg family history, sorry.”  
  
  
Tara was slightly taken aback by this information, for one that her roommate had done something bad enough that she’d been expelled but more so that anyone could not want the beautiful redhead in front of her as a part of their lives, much less actually send them away. She blushed as she realised her line of thinking had once again gone to the instant attraction she felt for her roommate and closed her eyes, hearing her father’s voice ring through her mind.  
  
  
_Wrong. You know it’s wrong._  
  
  
She opened her eyes again and saw Willow looking at her expectantly, waiting for some kind of response. She gazed into the green depths staring at her for a moment and found herself speaking without evening meaning to.  
  
  
“W-Willow? C-could you show m-me around w-when we’re f-finished unpacking?”  
  
  
Her eyes widened as she realised what she’d said; she knew she shouldn’t be asking anyone for anything and definitely should be trying to stay as far away as possible from the girl she was undeniably attracted to. She knew it was wrong, but she couldn’t help herself.  
  
  
She was drawn to this Willow and her senses seemed to working of their own accord to spend time with her. She was expecting to be scoffed at and told to figure her own way around, to be dismissed like she had been throughout her entire life and so was surprised when she was met by a nod and an easy smile.  
  
  
“Of course. The school’s not too big, don’t worry.”  
  
  
“T-thanks,” Tara blushed in response before spinning back around and continuing to unpack.  
  
  
Willow stared at her roommate’s back for a moment before her smile got a little wider and she turned back to her own case.  
  
  
_Huh. Maybe this year won’t be hell after all._


	2. Chapter 2

“So this is the languages department,” Willow said, gesturing to the rooms around them, “Do you speak any languages?”  
  
  
“G-German,” Tara replied, taking in the information her roommate was giving her.  
  
  
“Lucky,” Willow laughed, as she led down another hallway, “I took Spanish before coming here. Not really much use when you’re in Switzerland. I’m never able to speak to anyone if we ever take trips into the towns or anything. Although I hear Swiss-German is like completely different or something. All these different dialects.”  
  
  
“I c-can t-teach you some s-stuff if you want. S-so y-you can get by.”  
  
  
“Yea?” Willow asked, her face lighting up, “I’d really like that. Thanks.”  
  
  
Tara ducked her head and shrugged.  
  
  
“N-no problem.”  
  
  
“Hey, maybe I could teach you something, too. Like a trade. Um, I know science stuff or computers...”  
  
  
“C-computers?” Tara asked, her eyes widening, “I d-don’t know anything about c-computers. W-we never h-had one at home and my s-school was pretty low-tech.”  
  
  
“Well there we go,” Willow smiled, “You get a school laptop here to type all your notes and get homework done and stuff. I think it’s just ‘cause the teachers don’t like trying to read some people’s handwriting. But they have all the coursework pre-loaded on them so we don’t have to carry books around.”  
  
  
“W-we h-have t-to use them?” Tara asked, paling.  
  
  
“Don’t worry, I’ll give you any help you need,” Willow replied cheerily and put a hand on the brunette’s back, pulling it away when she flinched, “Sorry.”  
  
  
Tara kept her gaze downwards as they continued to walk, internally kicking herself. She hadn’t meant to offend the redhead, but she had touched against a fresh bruise she’d gotten by her father before they left the house to get her flight and flinching had become an almost natural instinct. Still, she didn’t want her roommate to get the wrong idea so forced herself to raise her head and speak.  
  
  
“I-I’d really ap-ap-appreciate the computer help.”  
  
  
Willow seemed to perk up again at that and smiled.  
  
  
“Great. Hey, it’s almost dinnertime. We have to change into our uniforms. Normally we can wear our regular clothes once classes are over for the day but they make this big deal about the ‘Welcome Back’ meals. I only had the one, when everyone came back from Winter break last year, which was like my first day. But the headmistress makes speeches and all that kinda stuff. Really boring, but the food is pretty good.”  
  
  
“Well, look who returned to The Land She Doesn’t Belong,” a mocking female voice came from behind them, “Never-Ending Willow. Oh and look, she finally got a friend.”  
  
  
Willow turned, scowling and faced the tall, brunette girl who was teasing her, a common occurrence from that particular fellow student, who for whatever reason had taken a disliking to Willow from the start and took every opportunity to make fun of her.  
  
  
“Just leave us alone, Stacy.”  
  
  
“Ooh, Willow’s grown a backbone over the summer,” Stacy laughed, quite obviously looking down at the redhead, before her gaze shifted to Tara, “I’d pick my friends carefully if I were you. You’re new so you clearly don’t know the status quo around here, but let me break it down for you; Willow=big old gay no-no.”  
  
  
“I t-think s-she’s nice,” Tara replied, feeling defensive about her roommate.  
  
  
“Oh really?” Stacy sneered, “Y-y-you d-d-do?”  
  
  
“Hey!” Willow said angrily, stepping in front of Tara protectively, “Just go away!”  
  
  
Stacy just shook her head mockingly.  
  
  
“Hey now, that’s not very nice. What are the magic words?”  
  
  
“Oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang,” Willow retorted sarcastically, “Why do you hate me so much?”  
  
  
Stacy sneered again.  
  
  
“Because you and your little f-f-f-friend here are recluse central. You’re supposed to hide in the shadows for a reason. So nobody has to look at you. Get that through your thick h-h-h-heads.”  
  
  
Stacy laughed out loud, casting a particularly derisive look at Tara, which Willow noticed and glared at.  
  
  
“Shut it, Stacy.”  
  
  
Stacy laughed again and looked at the redhead, amused.  
  
  
“What, are you gonna make me?”  
  
  
Willow felt her anger flare and grabbed Stacy’s shirt, which made the brunette get a look of horror on her face.  
  
  
“Get your dykey hands off me, gingernut!”  
  
  
“W-Willow, d-don’t.”  
  
  
Willow’s anger dissipated at the sound of the brunette’s scared voice and she dropped her hands, taking one of Tara’s hands in her own and pulling her towards the staircase up to their room, Stacy yelling after them.  
  
  
“Yea, walk away and stay away! You’ll never be good enough, poser.”  
  
  
Tara absently heard the threatening words being called after them, but was much more focused on the feel of Willow’s hand in hers. The redhead was pulling them towards their room and once inside, much to the brunette’s displeasure, dropped her hand and went over to her bed, flopping down on her mattress and screaming into her pillow. Tara wasn’t sure what to do and was inclined to just retreat into the shadows, as was her custom but instead opted to walk over and sit on the edge of Willow’s bed.  
  
  
“A-are y-you okay?”  
  
  
Willow raised her head from her pillow and sighed, before offering the brunette a weak smile.  
  
  
“Yea. Thanks. I just...She’s just one of many, you know and they’re all so...” Willow trailed off and shook her head, “Hey, um, sorry if I like, scared you back there. I just got really angry when she was teasing you.”  
  
  
“I-it’s okay,” Tara replied, feeling her heart skip a beat that Willow felt protective of her, then dropped her head, “I j-just don’t like v-v-violence.”  
  
  
“Well, that’s good,” Willow responded, “I mean, an aversion to violence is definitely a good thing. I promise I won’t ever react like that again.”  
  
  
Tara nodded, her gaze still cast downward.  
  
  
“Hey, Tara?” Willow spoke up again a moment later, more hesitant than before, “What, uh...what Stacy was saying...you know, about me? Well, they’re true. I just...you should probably know that.”  
  
  
Tara brow crinkled in confusion as she replayed the things that had been said in her mind until she realised what the redhead was talking about and her head shot up, eyes wide.  
  
  
“Oh...”  
  
  
_She...she’s...but she’s not dirty or...but she’s..._  
  
  
Willow saw the shock on her roommates face and sighed again, dejected.  
  
  
“Yea, so...listen, you don’t have to stick hanging around me or whatever. I won’t even speak to you if that’s what you want. But I’m gay, Tara, and I’m not ashamed of that. All the other girls here try to make me ashamed, but I’m not, I won’t be, so...I get if that’s not cool with you.”  
  
  
Tara just stared wide-eyed at her roommate.  
  
  
_She’s so open...and she’s proud, she’s proud that she’s...she’s so strong._  
  
  
Willow misunderstood the staring and sighed again, dropping her head into her pillow. She was therefore surprised when a tentative hand came to rest on her shoulder. She lifted her head and saw Tara giving her a small half-smile that made her heart feel like she had just run a marathon.  
  
  
“I l-liked w-what else she said. About us b-being friends?”  
  
  
“Really?” Willow asked, her face lighting up, “Tara, you gotta know, that kinda thing is a daily occurrence. It’s not gonna like, help your street cred hanging out with me.”  
  
  
“I’m u-u-used to being teased, r-remember?” Tara replied with a small joke in her voice, “B-but I’ve never had a f-f-friend to deal with it before.”  
  
  
Willow’s smile beamed and she scrambled up into a sitting position, pulling Tara into a surprise hug. The brunette stiffened completely at the unexpected contact.  
  
  
_I haven’t been hugged in five years._  
  
  
Willow felt her roommate become rigid and was about to apologise and pull back when she felt uncertain arms cross around her back, closing the embrace. The arms tightened around her, as if Tara was holding on for dear life and Willow hugged back just as strongly until they naturally pulled apart, just slightly and their gazes locked.  
  
  
Willow felt her breathing quicken as she looked into Tara’s eyes, their stares long and lingering as they both, unbeknownst to the other, were thinking the same thing.  
  
  
_I really wanna kiss her._  
  
  
Tara was the first to look away, ashamed at her thought and stood up, walking over to her bed.  
  
  
_Stop it, Tara. I shouldn’t be thinking like that. She may like girls, but she’d never like me. I’m lucky she’s even willing to be my friend. I’ve never had a proper friend before..._  
  
  
Willow stared at Tara’s retreating form for a moment, before clearing her throat to get some moisture back in her mouth.  
  
  
_That was...we just had a moment, right? I mean, I’m no expert in things of the moment-y variety, but that, that...that felt like a moment. That was a moment. But what the hell does that mean? She’s straight, right? Don’t go deluding yourself, Rosenberg, the prettiest girl in the world becomes your roommate, then wants to be your friend, no way is she gonna want more than that. Well, damn it, I’m gonna be the best friend she’s ever had..._  
  
  
Willow was pulled from her thoughts as she heard the brunette ask a question.  
  
  
“U-uniform, right?”  
  
  
“Um, yea.”  
  
  
Willow nodded, exhaling slowly for a moment before walking over to the wardrobe, taking out her school uniform, a white shirt with a dark green sweater over it and a checkered green and black skirt that fell to her knees. Knee-high white socks and plain black shoes completed the ensemble. Willow brought her clothes back to her bed and kicked off the sneakers she was wearing, before her eyes widened in shock as she caught a glimpse of Tara, who was changing and currently just in her jeans and bra, her back to the redhead.  
  
  
Willow wasn’t shocked by the fact that her roommate was topless, though she would’ve been if she wasn’t focused on the fact that there were two very large, distinctly fist-shaped bruises on the brunette’s upper back and a flurry of smaller ones dotted along her spine, all at various stages of healing.  
  
  
_She flinched earlier...I touched her back and she flinched._  
  
  
Tara seemed to sense eyes on her and looked over her shoulder, blushing bright red when she saw Willow looking at her and quickly gathered her clothes, rushing off to the bathroom – that was in their room, containing two showers and a toilet - in embarrassment. Willow cursed inwardly that she’d caused her friend any humiliation and stomped her foot for a moment before quickly getting into her own uniform.  
  
  
Tara appeared back in the room, fully dressed and pulling at the end of her skirt, as if she was trying to make it longer. The redhead couldn’t help but admire her legs, despite being covered by the socks but her mind was more largely focused on what she’d seen before.  
  
  
“Tara?” she ventured after a moment and waited for the brunette to turn to her, “Tara, your back...”  
  
  
Tara looked confused for a split second before a wave of terror crossed over her features and she rushed over to her bed, pretending to fix the pillows.  
  
  
“I f-f-f-fell w-w-when I w-w-went for a h-hike,” she lied easily, though felt awful for doing so, especially to Willow who’d been nothing but kind to her, “On a b-b-b-bunch o-o-of r-r-rocks. W-we s-should b-b-be h-heading downstairs n-n-now, r-right?”  
  
  
Willow frowned but nodded her head. She hadn't missed the fact that the brunette’s stutter was particularly pronounced just then and didn’t want to make her friend feel even worse, so changed her frown into smile.  
  
  
Besides, Tara had no reason to lie to her...right?


	3. Chapter 3

“Well this rocks!”  
  
  
Tara looked over at her roommate.  
  
  
“W-what?”  
  
  
“We have almost all our classes together!” Willow exclaimed happily as she sat on her bed, holding hers and Tara’s class schedules beside each other, “All except our languages, but we already kinda knew that. Yep, English, History, Biology, Math...all together. If that’s not a sign we’re supposed to be friends, I don’t know what is!”  
  
  
Their welcoming dinner had gone off without any fuss, the general student population too absorbed with seeing their friends again to notice that they had a new girl or to make the time to go out of their way to ridicule the redhead. Willow had been particularly happy that, for the first time since she’d been in that school, hadn’t had to eat alone.  
  
  
All the senior girls had been brought together in the common room after their meal to hand out their class schedules and school laptops, as well as being read off the typical school rhetoric of how important their final year of school was and how they all had to knuckle down and study.  
  
  
“R-really?” Tara asked, sitting on her own bed, “T-that’s good.”  
  
  
“Yea, we have Ms. Bolton for English first thing tomorrow morning,” Willow replied, picking up her pencil case from the nightstand next to her bed, “Here, I’ll colour code all our classes so you can see.”  
  
  
Tara was going to protest that that was unnecessary but Willow was already happily running her markers along the pages so she let her continue, before casting a wary eye to the end of the bed at the laptop she’d been handed. Willow looked up just in time to see the look and a small giggle left her mouth.  
  
  
“Want your first computer lesson?” she asked as she set their schedules to the side, “You can totally use my notes until you get the hang of it, don’t worry.”  
  
  
Tara visibly exhaled and Willow stood up, reaching under her bed and picking up a laptop that was different in styles to the school’s one. The redhead saw Tara look at it in confusion and started to explain.  
  
  
“Oh, this is my own one. I use the school one for homework and stuff but mine is a way better model, it has my personal stuff on it. I’ll teach you how to access your homework stuff on your one, but mine is better for learning just how to generally use a laptop. That okay?”  
  
  
Tara nodded and Willow continued walking over to her and sitting beside her on the bed, both of their backs against the wall.  
  
  
“And is this okay?” she asked quietly, knowing her friend had been hesitant in any type of close contact before.  
  
  
Tara nodded again and Willow smiled, grabbing the laptop and unzipping it from its case, pulling the machine out and resting it on the brunette’s lap.  
  
  
“Okay, so you just turn it on by pressing this little circular button here,” she started, pointing to the power button.  
  
  
Tara put her finger over the button and pressed down lightly, but nothing happened. She frowned but felt Willow put a hand over hers and pressed down more firmly, the laptop suddenly springing to life.  
  
  
“Like that, see?”  
  
  
Tara nodded again and watched as the display lit up and flashed through different screens until it settled on her screen saver, a large smiley face.  
  
  
“Um, ignore the babyness,” Willow said, gesturing at the desktop, “So we’ll start with the basics for now. Hey, do you have facebook?”  
  
  
Tara looked at the redhead completely bewildered and Willow chuckled.  
  
  
“Right. Never used a computer before. Sorry. It’s, um, well it’s a social networking site. You have a profile and can add pictures or whatever you want really. And there’s games, lots of stuff really! Oh and you can poke people!”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes went wide.  
  
  
“Y-you c-can w-w-what?”  
  
  
“Oh,” Willow shook her head with a grin, “It’s not anything...it’s like a virtual nudge. It’s fun. We should make you an account!”  
  
  
“Um...isn’t...” Tara remembered something she’d read in the brochure that had been shoved in her hands when she’d been told she was going to boarding school, “Don’t the school monitor those?”  
  
  
“Oh yea, but not if you’re sneaky,” Willow replied with a grin, before it faltered slightly, “I had to make a new account last year. My old one was all public and stuff, that’s how everyone found out...you know, about the gay thing. There wasn’t even anything that obvious on it, just the groups I was a part of and stuff. Anyway, I have a new one now and its super private, only people I want to be able to see it, can. We could do the same for you, if you wanted.”  
  
  
Tara gave the redhead a sympathetic smile before shrugging.  
  
  
“I w-w-wouldn’t have any f-friends.”  
  
  
“You’d have me.”  
  
  
Tara’s face brightened to a degree Willow hadn’t seen before and she blushed slightly, but didn’t avert her gaze.  
  
  
“Okay. H-how do w-we do it?”  
  
  
Willow beamed and moved the laptop so she had better access to the keyboard as she started typing and clicking buttons.  
  
  
“I’m just connecting to the internet, it’ll take a sec,” she explained as she typed.  
  
  
“I t-thought the o-only i-internet access was in the l-library?” Tara asked, more of the brochure coming back to her.  
  
  
“Oh, it is, but the teacher’s lounge has Wi-Fi, um sorry, it has internet access for anyone within a certain range, it’s easy to hack in to. Um, to get into. Idiots don’t even password protect it. But, uh, can that be a roommate secret? It wouldn’t be good if the faculty found out.”  
  
  
Tara took in what the smaller girl was saying and finally nodded.  
  
  
“S-sure. B-but w-won’t they k-know if a, um...facebook?” her statement came out as a question and Willow nodded that she’d gotten it right, “If a facebook p-page c-comes out i-in my n-name?”  
  
  
“Ah, see that’s where we get sneaky,” Willow replied, grinning again as she brought the facebook browser up on screen, “We don’t use your full name. Like I’m just Willow R. So you’d be Tara...hey, I don’t know your surname.”  
  
  
“M-Maclay,” Tara answered, “It’s M-Maclay.”  
  
  
“Maclay,” Willow repeated, more to herself, “Tara Maclay. That’s really pretty.”  
  
  
Both girls blushed at the words, Willow not having meant to say them aloud and focused back on the screen.  
  
  
“I’ll, uh, just set you up with a different email account. Not using the school one is part of the sneakiness,” Willow said, typing away, “So, uh, just Tara M, is that okay?”  
  
  
“S-sure,” Tara nodded, still blushing.  
  
  
“Okie dokie,” Willow breathed, typing in all the set up information quickly, “So, ah, we just fill out your basic information. Birthday?”  
  
  
“October 16th. I-I’m 17.”  
  
  
“Mine’s the 18th,” Willow smiled, “We’re practically twins.”  
  
  
Tara smiled too and watched as Willow continued to type things, asking her questions along the way.  
  
  
“So, you’re female...”  
  
  
“Yea,” Tara replied with a quiet giggle.  
  
  
“Okay, and I’m gonna say ‘looking for friendship’ ‘cause you can get some weirdos adding you if you say dating and stuff. But that won’t happen, ‘cause like I said, I’ll make it super private but just to be on the safe side. Uh, political views?”  
  
  
“Um...Obama?”  
  
  
Willow giggled and wrote it down, while Tara thought that if she’d said that to either her father or her brother, it would have warranted a beating for sure – they were hardcore Republicans. She felt liberated that she could speak more openly with the redhead.  
  
  
“Religious views?”  
  
  
Tara again thought of her ‘family’ and how any answer other than ‘Christian’, devout at that would not have been received well. But again she felt compelled and more importantly, able to answer honestly. She felt more at ease than she had in a long time.  
  
  
“Just spiritual really.”  
  
  
Willow wrote down the word ‘spiritual’ in the space provided, before turning to Tara, almost shyly.  
  
  
“You haven’t stuttered in a couple of minutes.”  
  
  
Tara couldn’t help a small smile when she realised the redhead was right. She hadn’t not stuttered in years, not even for a single sentence.  
  
  
“I guess you make me comfortable.”  
  
  
“Good,” Willow whispered with a smile before focusing back on screen, “Good. So we need to write you a bio. Like a biography. Just to sum you up in a few lines.”  
  
  
Tara shrugged, not knowing what to say.  
  
  
“Okay, how about...” Willow replied with a grin, seeing the brunette was struggling, “Hmm... ‘My name is Tara, I’m 17 and I have a really cool friend named Willow’.”  
  
  
Tara gave a small laugh and nodded.  
  
  
“Sure. Write that.”  
  
  
Willow stuck her tongue out between her teeth excitedly as she typed before moving on to the next section.  
  
  
“So, um, any interests?”  
  
  
“Um...I used to horse ride?” Tara answered as a question, unsure whether that counted, “I haven’t for a while, but I guess that’s an interest.”  
  
  
“Horse riding,” Willow wrote with a shudder, “Not big on the horses myself. Bad birthday experience with a pony. He thought my arm was a carrot. I see horses and I think ‘really big pony’.”  
  
  
“He tried to eat your arm?”  
  
  
“Well...” Willow replied with a shrug, “He looked like he wanted to! If I gave him half a chance he would’ve been chomping at me like I was his last meal.”  
  
  
“Willow,” Tara said with a giggle, “I don’t think horses like arm much.”  
  
  
“They could!” Willow protested with a pout, “They’re not safe.”  
  
  
“Well you could ride with me sometime. I promise safety and fun.”  
  
  
Tara couldn’t believe how easy-going she was acting, and...  
  
  
_Did I just flirt?_  
  
  
Willow seemed pleased by the statement though, as illustrated by a blush and a smile and they filled out the rest of the sections quickly until Tara realised the redhead had, purposely she could only assume, neglected to fill in two of the boxes. She looked between the two headings and hesitantly pointed at the first one.  
  
  
“I’m single,” she said, before taking a deep breath, her voice coming out shaky and in a whisper as she moved her finger down to the ‘interested in’ box, “And women.”  
  
  
_Oh my god. Oh. My. God. Did I just come out? Daddy always said it was wrong, so wrong, but she...she can say it. She likes girls and she can say it. She’s not wrong. I like girls. I really, really like girls. One girl in particular. Whoa, Tara, one thing at a time. You like girls. You know that. You’ve known that forever. And now you’ve said it._  
  
  
“Uh...” Willow was completely taken aback but moved the curser over the appropriate box and ticked it, “Right. Awesome. All filled in.”  
  
  
_Oh my god. Oh. My. God. Did she just come out to me? She likes girls! I wonder if she could ever like me...? Whoa, one thing at a time, Willow. She likes girls. You know that now. And that’s...that’s something._  
  
  
“I’m gay,” Tara said in a whisper, to herself, “I’m a lesbian.”  
  
  
Willow looked at the brunette strangely for a second before realisation crossed her features.  
  
  
“Is that the first time you’ve ever said it out loud?” she asked softly.  
  
  
Tara turned her head to meet Willow’s gaze and blushed slightly but nodded.  
  
  
“I’ve, um...always known, but um...everyone always said it was so wrong. But it’s who I am. So if that’s wrong, then...How did you know I’d never said...?”  
  
  
Willow grinned and shrugged.  
  
  
“Dunno. Just one gay girl to another kind of thing I guess. And, Tara, it’s not wrong,” she replied and shook her head emphatically, “It doesn’t matter. Love is love.”  
  
  
Their gazes locked again and neither said a word until Willow looked away, exhaling slowly.  
  
  
_Another one of those damn confusing ‘moments’. Even more damn confusing now._  
  
  
“You need a picture!” Willow said, trying to ease the tension, “No profile is complete without one.”  
  
  
“P-picture?” Tara asked, sighing at the return of her stutter and taking deep breaths to try and lessen it again, “I don’t have any pictures.”  
  
  
“Well, here,” Willow replied, pointing at the small camera on the laptop, “We’ll take one. Smile!”  
  
  
“Uh, wait...”  
  
  
Willow smiled at her friend’s shyness and shuffled her body closer to the brunette’s.  
  
  
“We can take one together, how about that?”  
  
  
Tara seemed hesitant but nodded and smiled as Willow brought the webcam up on screen and focused a shot. Both laughed when the snapped picture came up on screen; Tara was smiling warmly and Willow had her tongue stuck out.  
  
  
“Okay. That can go up.”  
  
  
Willow giggled as she uploaded the photograph before showing Tara her completed profile.  
  
  
“There you go. You are now officially a member of the facebook universe. Now I’ll just add me as a friend...” Willow typed in her email address in the ‘add friends’ section and quick as lighting logged out and back in to her own account, accepting the request, “And I’m your first friend!”  
  
  
Tara looked at the line on Willow’s profile that said ‘Willow R. is now friends with Tara M.’ and smiled.  
  
  
“Yea, you are,” she replied quietly, before noticing something on Willow’s profile, “You didn’t tell me I could have a picture of a kitten as my picture...”  
  
  
Willow blushed at her profile picture, a kitten playing with a ball of yarn and shrugged.  
  
  
“You didn’t ask.”  
  
  
Tara was about to respond when she noticed something else.  
  
  
“You like Doogie Howser? I watched that all the time growing up.”  
  
  
“Really?” Willow asked with a laugh, “Me too. I love Neil Patrick Harris. When I was little I used to imagine that I used to like work on a sitcom with him. Then I just started writing Doogie fanfiction. But, um, you can just disregard that last sentence.”  
  
  
Tara complied with the redhead’s wish, having no idea what ‘fanfiction’ was anyway.  
  
  
“So, uh, I should probably teach you something other than how to mess on facebook,” Willow continued, “Unless you just wanna talk for a bit? We’re gonna be living together for nine months, we should know some stuff. You know, other than shared childhood love for teenage doctors.”  
  
  
Tara gave a small laugh and nodded.  
  
  
“Okay. Let’s talk.”  
  
  
Willow shut down the computer and put in on the floor before settling on the bed, her feet beneath her.  
  
  
“So, um, I can start if you want. Well, I’m 17, you know that, turn 18 two days after you. I’m Jewish, but not really practicing, more just in tradition. And um, only child, which you probably guessed as well, given my parent’s attitude or rather un-attitude towards me. I had one friend when I was little, Xander, but he moved away when we started junior high. I was on my own back in California then. I was – well, am, this huge nerd so I kinda got targeted by the cheerleaders, one cheerleader in particular, Cordelia. She pretty much made my life living hell from grades 7 to half-way through 11 when I had ‘Cordy is a bitch’ projected on the wall during the winter dance – that’s why I got expelled by the way. Like it’s my fault they left the projector room wide open for anyone to use.”  
  
  
“They expelled you just for that?” Tara asked softly, “I mean, I can see why they wouldn’t just let it go, but being expelled seems kind of...harsh.”  
  
  
“Cordy’s Dad is on the Board of Directors,” Willow sighed softly, “Had I known that I probably wouldn’t have done it. Irony was, I was actually happy when I found out I wouldn’t be able to go back to that school, ‘cause at least I’d be away from Cordelia Chase, but then I get sent here and what do you know, it’s Cordelia times 100. But you’re here now, so that’s...that’s definitely of the good.”  
  
  
Tara blushed and ducked her head, her inherent shyness still quite present, even though the redhead was doing an incredible job of putting her completely at ease and making her happy.  
  
  
_Happy...that’s not something I’ve felt in a while..._  
  
  
The brunette snapped to attention when she realised Willow was looking at her expectantly.  
  
  
“Oh, um...well I grew up in Alabama. Just me my m-m-mother and f-f-father and brother, Donny. My m-mother died 5 years ago.”  
  
  
Willow frowned, both at the piece of information and at how much Tara stuttered over than sentence. Family was clearly a touchy subject.  
  
  
“Tara, I’m so sorry. That really sucks.”  
  
  
Tara shrugged and gave a small sniffle.  
  
  
“Yea. So it’s j-j-just been me and b-b-brother and f-father since. T-they don’t...w-w-we’re n-not...um...”  
  
  
“Hey, it’s okay,” Willow said quickly, seeing her friend was struggling, “You don’t have to talk about that. We can talk about something else. Pets! Did you ever have any pets? I had fish once but they died.”  
  
  
“W-we had a cat when I was little but she ran away,” Tara replied, thankful to be off the subject of her family, “No pets since. And um, before when I said you were my first friend. I didn’t just mean on facebook.”  
  
  
“Really?” Willow asked, feeling sadness at her friend’s heartache, “Well that’s the people of Alabama’s loss. You’re a wonderful friend. And hey, two loners sent to the same boarding school in some obscure town in Switzerland? We were destined to meet.”  
  
  
Tara smiled and was about to respond just as an errant yawn left her mouth. Willow glanced at her watch.  
  
  
“8pm,” she said before realising something, “Which means its 3am in Alabama. I’ve been operating on Swiss time for the past week or so at home so I wouldn’t be jetlagged when I got here. You don’t exactly get time to acclimatise; they just throw you straight into work.”  
  
  
“That’s...really smart,” Tara replied sleepily, wishing she’d thought to do the same.  
  
  
“Whoever’s on night duty isn’t gonna come around ‘til like 11 to make sure it’s lights out and stuff, but we could, you know, wind down our room now?” Willow suggested, “If you get a good night’s sleep now the jetlag might not last long. It’s dark out, I dunno whether you need darkness to sleep, I know I do, but anyway, it’s dark if you do and I can like, read under the covers or something ‘til I’m sleepy, I have a flashlight and everything.”  
  
  
“I might go to bed,” Tara replied, her eyes drooping, “But keeping the lights on is fine.”  
  
  
Willow smiled and shook her head, waving a hand in front of her.  
  
  
“It’s fine, really. I like reading under the covers. Makes me feel like I’m little again and I’m having a sleepover. Not that I ever had a sleepover, what with Xander being a boy and all my parents didn’t think it was ‘appropriate’. How little they knew, right?” Willow grinned, before seeing her friend was struggling to keep her eyes open, “Okay, it’s definitely sleepy time for you.”  
  
  
Tara yawned again and nodded, standing up and grabbing her pyjamas from the wardrobe. She disappeared into the bathroom for a few minutes to get changed and do her nightly routine. When she walked out, the room was in complete darkness except from a circular light coming from Willow’s bed.  
  
  
“Willow, you can keep the lights on,” she said with a laugh as she slipped beneath the covers of her bed, “It’s okay.”  
  
  
“Nah, I’m comfy,” Willow replied, knowing the brunette would probably get a better and full night’s sleep in the darkness, “Night, Tara. I’m really glad you’re my roomie.”  
  
  
Tara smiled as she settled her head on the pillow.  
  
  
“Goodnight, Willow. I’m glad you’re my roomie too.”  
  
  
The room lapsed into silence as Willow read beneath her covers and Tara started to drift off to sleep, her thoughts swimming.  
  
  
_Not even a day...not even a day and I’m away from my father, I came out, I made a friend and..._  
  
  
Tara opened her eyes for a moment and looked at the figure of Willow sitting underneath her blanket.  
  
  
_And, yea, I’m pretty sure I’m in love._


	4. Chapter 4

“Good thing about Friday’s,” Willow said as she dropped her laptop on her bed and flopped down beside it, “Classes end early.”  
  
  
“Why is that?” Tara asked, putting her own laptop down as well.   
  
  
She only carried it around for appearances sake really since she was still completely bewildered on how to use it. Willow had attempted to teach her a couple of times, but they always ended up taking silly photographs or messing on facebook instead. Tara knew she had to learn to use it soon though, or she’d never get through the academic year.  
  
  
“Games are on Friday afternoons,” Willow explained, stretching out on her bed, “Hey, I should have asked you if you wanted to try out for anything, I just assumed, I’m sorry. Try-outs start today so if you wanted to, we could go to the coach or whatever. Most of the girls play hockey but there’s basketball and um, I think badminton.”  
  
  
Tara laughed and shook her head.  
  
  
“No, I don’t have the coordination for basketball or badminton. And I’m, um, not really one for the stick sports.”  
  
  
Willow raised her head and looked at her straight-faced roommate, wide-eyed for a moment until they both burst out laughing.  
  
  
“Where’s that shy stuttering girl I met five days ago?” Willow asked, shaking her head, “I can’t believe it’s only been five days. I feel like we’ve been friends for like, ever.”  
  
  
Tara smiled, she felt the same way. In truth, she felt like an entirely different person from the girl who had first walked through the doors of their room. She felt liked, as s friend and a person for the first time ever and hadn’t stuttered in front of Willow since that first night. She might not have been able to follow her classes on her laptop – yet – but Willow transferred her notes to her every night and she was following the curriculum quite easily. And except for the occasional passing taunt from Stacy and her gaggle of friends in the hallway, both of them had been left pretty much alone by their fellow students.   
  
  
Willow had seemed quite pleased at this and wasn’t sure whether it was just because everyone was a little older and realised they were being immature or whether she just seemed like less of a target now that she wasn’t wandering the hallways by herself. Either way, the lack of teasing and the presence of Tara in general were making her quite happy in herself.  
  
  
“Hey, Willow?” Tara asked when the laughter had subsided, wanting to ask something she'd been wondering, “Do your parents know? You know that you’re-”  
  
  
“Not into stick sports?” Willow grinned and Tara grinned back, nodding, “Well I never told them. So I dunno, I guess they don’t. They don’t really factor high enough in the people I care about to tell. Do, um...do yours?”  
  
  
Willow was unsure whether she should’ve asked the question, Tara’s family hadn’t been mentioned since that first night.  
  
  
“Um...well...” Tara struggled to answer, “My Dad...kind of...well he knew I...my family aren’t the kind of people who would accept it. He caught me...he...there’s not...”  
  
  
“Hey, it’s okay,” Willow replied quickly, “Complicated, that’s cool. I’m a master of complicated families. You don’t have to explain.”  
  
  
Tara nodded gratefully and decided to change the subject.  
  
  
“So what happens here at weekends?”  
  
  
“Oh well some of the girls pay for Daddy to fly them home on their private jet,” Willow replied with a roll of her eyes, “But the rest of us...ah, nothing exciting really, I usually just hang around campus. But hey, senior now so that means we’re allowed get the bus into the local town. We can go after lunch and have to be back by dinner, but it’s something different I guess. You wanna maybe head out there tomorrow? I dunno what’s there but we could just look around. If you wanted.”  
  
  
“I’m in,” Tara nodded, “I don’t mind what we do as long as it’s with you.”  
  
  
Willow smiled and blushed slightly. She wasn’t sure exactly what to make of her friendship with Tara. Her lack of experience with anything other than online friends certainly didn’t help with her confusion, so she didn’t know whether the...well, she figured there was no other word for it, flirty interaction they had was just normal friend stuff or whether there was actually something more to it.   
  
  
She knew there was definitely something more coming from herself; her non-friendship feelings for the brunette had grown every day since they’d met, especially as they spent most of their time together. She’d been attracted to Tara from the moment she’d set eyes on her, but that wasn’t it. There was something deep happening between them, she knew. Or at least she knew what she was feeling. Tara on the other hand, she had no idea. And she was too scared to broach the subject in case it ruined their friendship.  
  
  
“Great,” Willow said eventually, looking forward to the following day, “So, we’ve got the afternoon to ourselves. Whaddya say I give you a proper computer lesson. And no distractions this time!”  
  
  
***  
  
  
Willow hazily opened her eyes at the sound of something in the room. She remembered spending the afternoon actually teaching Tara the basic workings of her laptop and how to access the coursework already loaded onto it, then they’d just played music and talked for the evening. They’d both gone to bed with happy smiles on their faces but as Willow sat up fully in the bed, she saw that Tara clearly hadn’t stayed that way.   
  
  
The brunette was thrashing about in her bed and calling out softly.  
  
  
“No, don’t...please don’t...”  
  
  
Willow’s initial thought was that someone else was in the room and she grabbed her flashlight, turning it on and shining it over at her friend’s bed, seeing that no one else was there but that Tara was clearly having a bad dream, a very bad dream.  
  
  
 _Shit, what do I do? Can you like kill someone by waking them from a nightmare? No that’s sleepwalking and I don’t even think it’s true. Go, help her!_  
  
  
Willow jumped out of bed and knelt beside Tara’s, trying to grab a hold of her flailing hands.  
  
  
“Tara, shush it’s okay,” she whispered loudly, hoping the taller girl would hear, “Tara, it’s okay, it’s just a dream.”  
  
  
Tara kept thrashing and started crying out louder.  
  
  
“No, no, don’t, please, don’t!”  
  
  
Willow’s bedside reassurances didn’t seem to be working as the brunette got more and more distressed so she did the only thing she could think of and got into the bed beside her friend and wrapped one arm around her waist, the other stroking her hair as she held Tara’s jerking body.  
  
  
“Tara, it’s okay, it’s okay. Wake up, honey, you’re having a bad dream. It’s okay, Tara, it’s okay...”  
  
  
Willow kept soothing her as Tara started to calm until she was still and her eyes fluttered opened.  
  
  
“Willow?” she asked in a scared voice, unsure whether she was still receiving the beating from her father that had been happening in her dreamscape.  
  
  
“Oh shush, I got you,” Willow replied, tightening her hold and lowering her head to whisper in the brunette’s ear, “I got you, baby, I got you. You’re safe, I promise. It was just a dream.”  
  
  
Willow pulled back to look in the taller girl’s eyes, wanting to reassure her as much as she could, both able to just see each other in the moonlight shining in from the window. She opened her mouth to speak, but Tara got there first.  
  
  
“You called me baby.”  
  
  
Tara’s voice came out in a quiet whisper and Willow was stunned into silence, her mouth opening and closing in shock.  
  
  
“I, uh...I just...I...”  
  
  
Tara watched the redhead struggle and with a sudden burst of courage she leant forward and let her lips press against Willow’s. When the smaller girl just stayed rigid and shocked after a couple of seconds, Tara pulled back, convinced she’d clearly gotten the completely wrong end of the stick and looked down.  
  
  
“S-s-sorry.”  
  
  
“Hey, don’t stutter,” Willow said suddenly, snapped to attention by Tara’s obvious anguish and cupping the brunette's cheek, “Not with me. And, and...don’t be sorry. Please don’t be sorry ‘cause that means you regret kissing me and I really don’t want that to be true.”  
  
  
“You don’t?” Tara asked, hopeful, “But you...”  
  
  
“I was a spaz and didn’t realise you were kissing me until you stopped. But I’d really like to kiss you again. Properly this time.”  
  
  
Tara’s face lit up and she nodded, not able to form words.  
  
  
“Yea?” Willow asked, leaning her head forwards slightly, “You’re sure? I don’t want a friendship kiss here, Tara. I like you, like, really like you. If that’s not what you want, it’s fine, I can go back to my own bed and we can pretend this never-”  
  
  
She was cut off as she felt soft lips touch her own, for the second time that night but not being one to make the same mistake twice, instantly responded, moving her lips gently against the brunette’s, wondering if heaven could be poured into a single kiss, because if it could, it was happening right then.  
  
  
Tara’s lips were soft and sweet and unlike anything she’d ever felt before, which wasn’t hard considering her withdrawn state of existence up until the past week meant she’d never been kissed before. Xander had tried to kiss her once when they were in the 6th grade but she quickly rebuffed him and hadn’t had any offers since. Still, she was quite happy to have had to wait her almost 18 years if this was the kiss she got as her first, because it was so magnificent.  
  
  
Tara was having a similar train of thought as Willow sucked lightly on her bottom lip before going back to just the gentle motion of lips on lips. She couldn’t quite believe it; this gorgeous, funny, kind, all-round beautiful inside and out girl was kissing her. Her nightmare was completely forgotten as all she felt was soft lips and the light stroking of Willow’s thumb on her cheek.   
  
  
They started to pull away to breathe properly for a moment but their lips hadn’t even fully separated before they were attached again, neither willing to break the kiss yet. Tara moved her hand to rest on the back of the smaller girl’s head as their bodies naturally shifted so there wasn’t an inch between them as they kissed for an indeterminate amount of time until they actually did pull back and both started giggling straight away.  
  
  
“So that means you’re sure, right?” Willow asked through her giggles, smiling down at the brunette.  
  
  
“I’ve been sure since the moment I saw you,” Tara replied with a blush, though it was hidden in the darkness, “Does, um...does this mean...?”  
  
  
Willow stroked Tara's cheek again.  
  
  
“Do you want it to mean...?”  
  
  
Tara resisted the urge to scream ‘yes!’ at the top of her lungs so Willow would understanding just how much she wanted this, how much she wanted _them_ but instead just gave a small nod.  
  
  
“I want...if you want...”  
  
  
Willow let out a small chuckle.  
  
  
“I think we need to start speaking in full sentences.”  
  
  
Tara giggled and closed her eyes for a moment, before opening them and deciding to be the brave person she felt like she was around the redhead.  
  
  
“Can we be girlfriends?”  
  
  
Willow moved her hand up and stroked it down Tara’s hair.  
  
  
“I like you being direct. It’s good, especially since I normally go straight into babble mode, so you just getting straight to the point is definitely of the good,” Willow replied cheerily before realising Tara was looking at her, expectant and somewhat scared, “Oh jeez, baby, yes, yes, definitely, I want to be girlfriends. I want to be your girlfriend more than anything. And I want you to be mine.”  
  
  
“You called me baby again,” Tara replied, biting her lip excitedly.  
  
  
“Well now I’m not afraid to,” Willow said with a grin, “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m really glad you had a nightmare. Hey, um, what was it about?”  
  
  
Tara just shook her head.  
  
  
“It doesn’t matter. But thank you for being there. And for comforting me. I could feel you, you know. In my dream, it was dark and scary but then I felt like you were there and it wasn’t scary anymore.”  
  
  
“I’ll always be there,” Willow whispered, leaning forwards to place a gentle kiss on the brunette’s lips, “Always.”  
  
  
They started kissing softly again until Tara pulled away, giggling.  
  
  
“What?” Willow asked in fear, “Did I do something wrong? I’ve never, um...this is my first...did I do something wrong?”  
  
  
“No,” Tara giggled, “It’s just...we’ve only been dating a few minutes and I already have you in my bed.”  
  
  
Willow gaped at her new girlfriend in shock.  
  
  
“Tara!”  
  
  
Tara blushed; she had no idea what prompted her to be so bold with the redhead, both before they’d admitted their feelings and now that they had. It was only with Willow she felt like that, like a transformed person. As soon as a teacher or another student opened their mouths to her, her stutter came out in full force and her gaze found its way to the familiar sight of the floor, but not with Willow. She was about to apologise when the smaller girl started giggling as well.  
  
  
“Come here you little vixen,” Willow grinned, bringing their lips together again.  
  
  
Tara smiled into the kiss, happy that the redhead seemed to like her newfound confidence streak. They kissed gently and the brunette was toying with the idea of maybe even trying to deepen it when they both heard a small rustling off to the side. Willow looked over her shoulder in confusion for a second before she realised what was happening and dived out of the bed and onto the floor, just as one of the teachers of the school walked in the room, doing her nightly checks, done on the hour at that particular school. She turned on her flashlight when she saw that there was a body-shaped heap on the floor.  
  
  
“Willow?” she asked, in an English accent, seeing who it was, “Why are you on the floor?”  
  
  
“I, um, fell out of the bed,” Willow lied, standing up and wiping her hands against her pyjama bottoms, “I was having a weird dream.”  
  
  
The teacher frowned and cast the flashlight over at Tara, who gulped.  
  
  
“And why are you awake?”  
  
  
“I-I-I woke u-up f-f-from the b-b-bang. W-when W-Willow f-fell.”  
  
  
“Right,” the teacher sighed, “Well get back to sleep.”  
  
  
“Will do, Miss,” Willow replied, getting back into her own bed as the teacher turned and left, the door closing behind her, “That was close.”  
  
  
“Yea,” Tara replied, her heart beating furiously from them nearly getting caught, “Close.”  
  
  
Willow frowned at the brunette’s tone of voice.  
  
  
“Tara?” she asked in a quiet voice, “You don’t regret-”  
  
  
“Not for a second,” Tara cut her off in a whisper, “I’m just sad she cut into our smooching time.”  
  
  
Willow giggled and quickly jumped out of bed, kneeling beside Tara’s bed.  
  
  
“Goodnight kiss?”  
  
  
“You don’t need an occasion to ask for a kiss,” Tara replied softly, leaning forwards so their lips met.  
  
  
Willow kissed her girlfriend gently for a couple of long minutes before pulling back and placing another quick peck on her lips.  
  
  
“I’m really happy you’re my girlfriend,” she said, dropping her gaze for a moment, “I promise I’ll try and be the best girlfriend I can.”  
  
  
“I just want you to be you,” Tara replied, before getting a cheeky smile on her face, “And stop dropping your head. That’s my thing.”  
  
  
Willow raised her head and gave her girlfriend a winning smile.  
  
  
“So tomorrow, going into town...our first date, yea?”  
  
  
“Yea,” Tara nodded with a beaming smile, “Our first date.”  
  
  
“Great. Well I better get back to bed before we get almost caught again.”  
  
  
“Good idea,” Tara nodded, and gave the redhead a quick kiss, “Goodnight, sweetie.”  
  
  
Willow leant forwards for a final kiss, before scurrying back to her bed.  
  
  
“‘Night baby.”


	5. Chapter 5

Willow fluttered her eyes open at the quiet sound of her alarm buzzing. She threw her arm out to stop the sound and sat up in her bed, rubbing her eyes to try and focus them, then stretched her arms over her head, until her gaze landed on Tara’s still sleeping form and she felt herself gasp.  
  
  
 _Last night really happened, didn’t it? Please don’t tell me it was a dream..._  
  
  
Tara seemed to sense, even in her dreamscape, that she was being watched and she slowly opened her eyes, smiling when she saw Willow staring at her.  
  
  
“Morning,” she said lazily before a blush started to rise on her cheeks when Willow just continued to look at her, “It’s rude to stare you know.”  
  
  
“You’re just so beautiful,” Willow replied in awe.  
  
  
Tara frowned and stood up from her bed, shaking her head.  
  
  
“Don’t be silly.”  
  
  
Tara wandered off into the bathroom and Willow frowned as well, before following her, leaning against the doorway.  
  
  
“What do you mean, don’t be silly? We, um...last night did happen, right?”  
  
  
“Of course,” Tara replied, though slightly muffled by the fact that she had her toothbrush in her mouth, “At least I hope it did.”  
  
  
Willow’s frown deepened and she moved to put a hand on Tara’s arm.  
  
  
“Tara...baby, look at me,” she said and the brunette complied, “You’re beautiful.”  
  
  
Tara dropped her head and sighed.   
  
  
_Why is she doing this?_  
  
  
She knew she was nothing special, but if Willow was willing to not only hang around her but actually get into a relationship with her anyway, she was more than happy to be a part of that. She didn’t want the redhead to feel obligated to lie to her though.  
  
  
“Will, I know I’m not,” she said in a hushed, sad tone, “I don’t know why you want to be with me anyway but apparently you do so...can we just leave it?”  
  
  
Willow looked gobsmacked and quickly raised the brunette’s head with her fingers.  
  
  
“First off, it’s what’s in here that makes me want to be you,” she said, placing a hand over her girlfriend’s heart through her pyjamas, “And secondly, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met in my life. The first time I saw you I was blown away by how gorgeous you are.”  
  
  
Tara shook her head again; it was one thing to think that Willow liked her personality, even she sort of liked her own personality, or at least the one she’d felt able to have since being rid of her father and brother’s clutches...  
  
  
 _I still can’t believe that was only a week ago._  
  
  
...the more confidant and easy-going one. Hell, sometimes she even thought she was a little bit funny and Willow seemed to laugh a lot around her, with her and never at her. But she knew she wasn’t good looking. She’d been made sure she knew that plenty of times.  
  
  
 _My hips are too big and I’m fat. Thunder thighs, that’s what Donny always said. Huge calves. Stringy hair. Crooked nose, my eyes are too far apart. I’m a nice girl. Just an ugly one._  
  
  
“Willow, stop,” she said sternly, before pushing past the redhead and going back into the bedroom.  
  
  
“No,” Willow said defiantly, following the brunette, “And I really don’t want our first fight to be just hours after we became girlfriends and especially not because you have some completely obscure thinking pattern and think you’re not beautiful.”  
  
  
“Then stop saying it,” Tara replied, gathering her clothes, “Please.”  
  
  
Willow walked over to her girlfriend and took her clothes from her hands, dropping them on the floor before pushing Tara back onto her bed and moving to lie on top of her.  
  
  
“What are you doing?” Tara asked in a whisper, her breath quickening from the feeling of the redhead stretched out a top her.  
  
  
“You. Are. Beautiful,” Willow replied, punctuating each word with a kiss, “So very, very beautiful.”  
  
  
Tara tried to turn her head off to the side but Willow grabbed her chin and turned her back so they were looking at each other.  
  
  
“And if you don’t believe it yet – and that’s a very big yet, ‘cause I promise, baby, I am gonna make you believe it. But if you can’t believe it yet, then at least believe that I think it’s true. _I_ think you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. Okay?”  
  
  
Tara searched Willow’s eyes for any trace of dishonesty but saw only truth.  
  
  
“You do?” she asked in a meek voice.  
  
  
“I do,” Willow confirmed softly.  
  
  
Tara wasn’t sure what to think. She couldn’t imagine ever thinking of herself as beautiful, but Willow seemed to be genuine.   
  
  
_Maybe this is part of being in a relationship. I need to trust her._  
  
  
“Okay,” she said after a moment, smiling a small smile, “Thank you.”  
  
  
Willow beamed and leant down to kiss the brunette firmly. She felt Tara smile into the kiss and felt a hand rest on the back of her neck until the brunette’s tongue ran along her bottom lip.  
  
  
 _She wants to use tongues! Okay, uh, what do I do?! Don’t spaz this up, Willow. Um, okay, just..._  
  
  
Willow opened her mouth and there was an awkward moment when Tara seemed unsure exactly what to do either until the brunette’s tongue tentatively pushed forwards and connected with the redhead’s.  
  
  
“Mmhh,” Willow couldn’t help the loud moan that escaped her at the contact and started moving her tongue vigorously against Tara’s.  
  
  
Tara felt Willow start to eagerly duel with her tongue and reciprocated just as keenly until the need for oxygen became too great and they pulled apart, the smaller girl resting their foreheads together.  
  
  
“Wow.”  
  
  
“Mmhhmm,” Tara agreed with a lazy smile, running her hand through Willow’s hair, “Can we just do that all day?”  
  
  
“But we have our date!”  
  
  
Tara’s face lit up as she remembered.  
  
  
“Oh yea. Our first date.”  
  
  
“First of many, beautiful,” Willow smiled, before glancing up at the clock in their room, “But, uh, we’ve missed breakfast. And we can’t leave ‘til after lunch...”  
  
  
“So we have some spare time?” Tara asked, following the redhead’s train of thought, “Some...smooching time?”  
  
  
Willow grinned before leaning down again.  
  
  
“Oh yes.”  
  
  
***  
  
  
“There’s a lot of farms,” Tara commented as she looked out the window of the bus she was sitting in beside Willow, “Kinda of reminds me of Alabama.”  
  
  
“The Swiss are a farming nation,” Willow replied knowledgably.  
  
  
“Ah,” Tara nodded her head, before turning to her girlfriend, “What else should I know about Switzerland? I didn’t really pay attention on the drive here from the airport. Too nervous.”  
  
  
“Hmm...” Willow started, searching her memory, “Well, the country is over 700 years old...it has 4 national languages...founded the Red Cross...is notoriously neutral...oh, oh and the CERN! That has the Large Hadron Collider.”  
  
  
Tara’s face crumpled in confusion.  
  
  
“The what?”  
  
  
“The Large Hadron Collider,” Willow repeated, as if it was obvious.  
  
  
Which to her, of course, it was.  
  
  
Tara continued to look confused.   
  
  
“What’s the...Large Hadron Collider?”  
  
  
“Are you kidding me?” Willow asked in disbelief, “Only the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator!”  
  
  
Tara’s face just remained blank.  
  
  
“How could you have not heard of it?!” Willow exclaimed, then got an apologetic look on her face and grabbed the brunette’s hand when Tara averted her gaze self-consciously, “Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just been pretty big news is all. How scientists were trying to recreate the Big Bang?”  
  
  
Tara heard the apology but was more focused on the fact that Willow was holding her hand until the redhead’s words registered.  
  
  
“Oh, wait. I remember reading something about that in the newspaper. They were afraid of the world ending or something?”  
  
  
She left out the part where her father had wished that ‘the wrath of God strike down any man who tried to justify his divine design’.   
  
  
“Pffft, fear-mongering media,” Willow said with a wave of her hand, “No, it was so cool, basically they pushed two separate beams of protons around this like 17-mile tunnel in opposite directions, all at the speed of light. Then it started smashing particles into each other and released this like, huge, and I mean huge amount of energy and that released all this stuff that made this kinda plasma thing and that formed protons and neutrons, which is like, basically matter. So like, if they could see how matter was made, then they could see how the world started and was formed and everything. See, they were looking to find the Higgs boson.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyebrow raised.  
  
  
“Uh...whose bosom?”  
  
  
Willow giggled and shook her head.  
  
  
“Boson, baby. With an ‘n’. It’s like this hypothetical particle, ‘cause it’s invisible, see, even with like scientific instruments and stuff. But anyway, they think this Higgs Boson is like part of the Higgs field, which basically fills the entire universe. So by finding it, it’ll explain how matter, or well, subatomic particles, which is what makes up matter, really acquire mass.”  
  
  
“Okay...” Tara replied, following so far, “Okay, so I get the collider thing. Energy gets released and that forms matter...but I don’t really get the um...the Higgs Boson and Higgs field thing. How exactly does that work?”  
  
  
Willow grinned excitedly and squeezed Tara’s hand as she gestured with her other one.  
  
  
“Okay, so...right, let’s say that we’re backstage at a concert, okay? And all these groupies are there. Now, the room we’re in, that represents the whole universe and all those groupies, they represent the Higgs field. You with me?”  
  
  
Tara nodded her head in understanding.  
  
  
“Great. Okay, now Cher comes into the room, yea? Cher represents a subatomic particle. So all these groupies start to cluster around Cher, ‘cause she’s Cher and she’s awesome. Now, Cher starts to walk through the room, and more people start to surround her but others drop off because, I dunno, they realise they prefer Madonna or something. But anyway, the cluster of groupies surrounding Cher represents the mass that she’s gained while she’s in the Higgs field.”  
  
  
“No wonder she’s so popular,” Tara said with a grin, “But I get that. So if we know how the tiny bits of matter are formed, we can figure out how...pretty much everything is formed.”  
  
  
“Exactly!” Willow replied, leaning forwards and placing a warm kiss on the brunette’s lips, before pulling back and scrunching her nose up, “I’m sorry. Quantum physics isn’t really appropriate first date talk.”  
  
  
Tara smiled and shook her head.  
  
  
“No, it was good. And now I know something I didn’t know before. You know, I’ve still never taught you any German.”  
  
  
“Oh yea,” Willow said, suddenly remembering their agreement, “Well teach me something now.”  
  
  
Tara got a secretive smile on her face and nodded.  
  
  
“Okay. Deine Augen sind die Sterne.”  
  
  
“Is that telling me how to order a coke or something?” Willow asked, “You’re gonna have to repeat it...”  
  
  
“Augen sind die Sterne,” Tara repeated, before her voice got more shy, “It means your eyes are stars.”  
  
  
“Aww, baby,” Willow replied, blushing, “Screw the language lesson, keep telling me romantic stuff.”  
  
  
Tara giggled and squeezed the redhead’s hand.  
  
  
“Du machst mich so glücklich...You make me so happy.”  
  
  
“You make me happy, too, Tara.”  
  
  
Tara blushed and resisted the urge to duck her head, instead locking gazes steadily with her girlfriend.  
  
  
“Dein ist mein Herz.”  
  
  
Willow waited expectantly for the translation and Tara blushed harder as she gave it.  
  
  
“My heart is yours.”  
  
  
“Aww, Tara,” Willow replied, pulling the brunette into a hug, “I’m yours, too. All yours.”  
  
  
Tara closed the hug and held on tight, thinking to herself that that was probably her favourite type of contact with the redhead.  
  
  
 _Then again, her kisses...and holding her hand is amazing...and when she was lying on top me this morning..._  
  
  
A fresh blush rose on Tara’s cheeks as that last thought entered her mind and she pulled back from the hug, glancing out the window with a smile.  
  
  
“Wir sind hier.”  
  
  
“What does that mean?” Willow asked, biting her lip in anticipation.  
  
  
Tara stifled a laugh and pointed towards the front of the bus, which had stopped.  
  
  
“We’re here.”


	6. Chapter 6

“What?” Willow asked in confusion, before realisation crossed her features, “Oh. Right. Come on, then.”  
  
  
They both giggled as Willow pulled them off the bus, stepping into the square of the small town that was located just five miles from the school. There was a small pond directly in front of them and a large stand off to the side that detailed the layout of the town, with a map. They were pretty much the only people around, with only the odd other person walking the streets.  
  
  
“Can you read this?” Willow asked, looking up at the stand, “I can make out the streets and stuff but...is that a park?”  
  
  
Willow pointed to a patch of green that was on the map and Tara peered at it closely.  
  
  
“Yea, that’s a park...and that’s the town hall,” Tara replied, pointing at a building near the top of the map, “And that looks like a string of cafe’s and stuff...a church...there’s some shops, but it looks almost all residential.”  
  
  
“Well that’s okay,” Willow shrugged with a smile, “We can just walk around and save our money for another day!”  
  
  
Tara stiffened as the redhead said that and sighed.  
  
  
“Um, Willow?” she asked, sitting them both down at a nearby bench, “You should know...I’m, um...I’m not exactly what you might call flush with cash. My Dad has money, obviously, the tuition fees for our school are huge, but um, he’s not one to share. The only reason I have anything in my wallet at all is ‘cause I saved everything my mother ever gave me before she died.”  
  
  
Willow frowned profusely as Tara spoke. She’d only heard snippets about Tara’s father and life back home, but she was very sure she didn’t like it. She saw the brunette look at her as she finished speaking, then look down and realised she must’ve misinterpreted the frown.  
  
  
“Well don’t you be worrying about little things like that,” she said quickly, wrapping an arm around her girlfriend’s shoulder, “‘Cause your my girl now, and I take care of my girl.”  
  
  
Tara snapped her head around, wide-eyed.  
  
  
“No, Willow, that’s not what I meant, I just meant I can’t afford to-”  
  
  
She was cut off as the redhead put a finger against her lips and couldn’t resist giving it a small kiss, which Willow smiled at.  
  
  
“I know what you meant. And we don’t have to do things together that cost money. All I’m saying is that you’re not allowed to worry about it. Money’s so...look at all the girls in our school. They’re defined by it, by how much they have, how much they can spend. Tara, my parents send quite a hefty allowance into my account each month and I have a trust fund for when I turn 18 and I’m not telling you this because I’m trying to be snobby but just to let you know that money isn’t something I care about. I haven’t spent any of my allowance money in months. It’s all just sitting there. And I’ve worded this very longly...which isn’t a word actually, but anyway, very long and very awkward and what I’m really trying to say is...is what’s mine is yours. So, yeah. Now, I think a walk in the park is very much a first date-y kind of thing.”  
  
  
Willow pulled the brunette up by their still entwined hands and walked back over to the map.  
  
  
“Okay...so if we’re this big red star, then we just go up there, and...okay, I got it. Come on, baby.”  
  
  
Tara could only gape after her girlfriend, in shock from the speech she’d just made.  
  
  
 _How can someone be that kind and generous and warm-hearted? She’s an angel. She’s my angel._  
  
  
Willow stopped when she felt that Tara was dragging behind and turned to her girlfriend. She was about to question what was wrong when the brunette suddenly grabbed her cheeks and kissed her fiercely. She almost tumbled backwards at the unexpectedness but quickly steadied herself and held onto Tara’s hips as she responded just as eagerly, neither of them caring that they were standing in the middle of a small, but still very public town or who might see them. They stayed kissing for several long moments until Tara pulled back, looking down shyly as Willow just gulped.  
  
  
“What was that for?” Willow managed after a moment, her cheeks flustered from the kiss.  
  
  
“‘Cause you’re amazing,” Tara answered honestly, looking up to meet the redhead’s gaze, “Just thought you should know.”  
  
  
“You’re amazing, too, baby,” Willow replied quietly with a smile, “And I know it’s only been a day and stuff, even though it feels like forever, and I know this is technically only our first date even though we’ve basically spent every moment together over the past week but anyway...I think we’re kinda amazing together. This, um...this feels, really, _really_ special. And, uh so concludes the cheesy portion of our date. Geeky and cheesy down, hehe.”  
  
  
Willow chuckled nervously, as if she was embarrassed by what she had said and Tara smiled at her in reassurance to let her know she felt the same, before turning the tone more light.  
  
  
“So if the geeky and cheesy portions are finished, what’s next?”  
  
  
“Oh well,” Willow replied, biting her lip, “Um, I guess that leaves the romantic part!”  
  
  
Willow suddenly dropped the brunette’s hand and ran off, leaving Tara standing in the middle of the town square, completely confused.  
  
  
 _Did she just...did she just leave me? Well what the hell am I supposed to do now? Where did she even go? She mentions romance and then just runs off? She...she must’ve finally realised she’s way too good for me. Daddy and Donny were right, I am good for nothing, why would she ever want me? She clearly had a lapse in judgement last night. Probably felt bad that I was having a nightmare and then didn’t want to hurt my feelings when I kissed her. Stupid, Tara, why did you do that? I don’t even know what time the bus back to the school is. I guess I’ll just have to wait here._  
  
  
Tara walked back over to the bench nearby and sank down onto, tears coming to her eyes and falling down her cheeks as her thoughts overtook her.  
  
  
 _How many hours did I get? 14? 14 hours of pure happiness. 14 hours of being her girl. More than I deserve. What am I gonna say to her whenever she gets back? Will she still be my friend? God, please let her still want to be my friend...I don’t think I can cope if I couldn’t at least be her-_  
  
  
“Baby, I’m ba-hey, why are you crying?”  
  
  
Tara looked up and saw Willow drop something on the ground before she was sitting beside her, as close as the small bench allowed and was pulling her head to her shoulder. She felt warm lips kiss her temple and reassuring words being whispered in her ear.  
  
  
“It’s okay, honey, I got you. Did something happen? Did you meet some other girls from school or something? If they said anything to you, I’ll...well, I won’t kick their butts ‘cause I know you have that whole anti-violence thing, but I will, I will give them some very choice words about staying the hell away from my girlfriend. And I’ll steal their laptops and put a virus on them so they lose all their work and get yelled at.”  
  
  
Tara raised her head off of the redhead’s shoulder, looking at her with vulnerable but hopeful eyes.  
  
  
“G-g-girlfriend? You still want me to be your g-girlfriend?”  
  
  
“What?” Willow asked, bewildered and surprised at the reappearance of the brunette’s stutter, “Of course I still want you to by my girlfriend. I’ll never not want you to be my girlfriend. Tara, what happened?”  
  
  
“You l-left,” Tara replied, her eyes still somewhat helpless, “I thought...I, um, I t-thought you d-didn’t w-want t-to be with me anymore.”  
  
  
“Oh, baby,” Willow replied, cupping Tara’s cheek and picking up the item she had dropped, which the brunette could see was a bunch of roses, “I just went to get you flowers. ‘Cause, you know, we were starting the romantic part of our date? There’s a little shop over there, see?”  
  
  
Willow pointed off to the side and saw a small building, with a variety of different bunches of flowers in a display in the front.  
  
  
“I’m sorry I just ran off like that,” Willow continued after a moment, “You know me, act and go, the whole thinking part comes later. I just thought romance and then I saw the flowers and I thought ‘I should get Tara flowers ‘cause she was all romantic earlier with the telling me nice things in German’ so I just went. I didn’t...I didn’t think it’d ever upset you like this.”  
  
  
Willow watched Tara take in her words, thinking to herself how low the girl’s self-esteem must actually be. Earlier, when she’d had deep issue with being told she was beautiful and now that she’d be so quick to think that everything was all her fault and that Willow wouldn’t want to be with her. She vowed to herself that she would do everything in her power to help the brunette realise what a wonderful, special girl she was, then pulled her girlfriend into a tight hug and whispered in her ear.  
  
  
“I don’t know who hurt you but I promise I never will.”  
  
  
Tara stiffened momentarily.   
  
  
_Does she know...? No, she can’t know about that. She saw the bruises when I arrived, but she believed my hiking story. She can’t know about them. She just knows Daddy’s strict and I don’t get on well with Donny. That’s all she needs to know. I don’t want her to think I was weak. I’m not weak with her, I feel strong. I feel like she’s healing me._  
  
  
She relaxed into the embrace, feeling silly that she’d started crying and jumped to such gross conclusions and feeling more confident in the fact that Willow still wanted to be with her.  
  
  
“S-sorry for,” Tara paused and took a deep breath, determined not to stutter, “Sorry for ruining our date.”  
  
  
Willow pulled back from the hug and shook her head with a smile.  
  
  
“You didn’t ruin anything. You got a little upset ‘cause I was a spaz, which is probably something you should get used to, me being a spaz that is, ‘cause you know, can’t change the habit of a lifetime. And I got to give you a hug to make you feel better. And I think you probably need a kiss too, so...”  
  
  
Tara felt her heart warm as Willow leaned forwards and placed a small kiss on her lips before pulling back and thrusting the roses towards her.  
  
  
“These are for you.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Thank you,” Tara replied, bringing them up to her nose to inhale their scent, “I’ve never gotten flowers before.”  
  
  
“Well that’s just silly. You deserve lots and lots of pretty things,” Willow responded, grinning, before standing and pulling the brunette up with her, “You ready for the park?”  
  
  
Tara nodded and smiled as they started walking hand-in-hand down the gravelly streets.  
  
  
“It gets really snow-y here around winter,” Willow said as they walked, pointing to the many pointed arches on top of the buildings around them, “I’ve only ever seen it coming to and from the airport at winter break, but it’s really pretty. Like something you’d see in a postcard. Maybe we could come out here one day before we go home for the holidays or something, if it’s snowy. We could take pictures! I have a camera stuffed away in one of my drawers somewhere.”  
  
  
“Sure,” Tara agreed with a small smile, “But, um, I’m not going home for the holidays. I’m staying at the school. My father doesn’t want to pay for the flights. But if it snows before you go, then I’m in.”  
  
  
Willow frowned as Tara said that. She didn’t want her girlfriend alone for the holidays, especially not alone in their school.  
  
  
_Maybe she could come home with me? No, there’s no way she’d let me pay for the flights. Oh I’ll figure something out._  
  
  
“Great,” she replied, deciding she’d think about things later, “Hey, wow, Tare, look at this!”  
  
  
Willow walked them into the entrance of the park; trees scattered everywhere with lush green grass surrounding them, and a small man-made lake just ahead of them. The sky was cloudy, but the sun was peeking out through them, casting a warm glow against the water.  
  
  
“This definitely beats walking around the school grounds!” Willow said happily as they walked towards the lake, “I’m so glad we’re seniors!”  
  
  
Tara laughed and smiled as Willow bent down at the lake and ran her hand through it, before looking up and ahead.  
  
  
“Hey, there’s ducks. We should’ve brought some bread or something. Next time we come into town we should grab some bread rolls at breakfast and bring them with us. Do you think – Ahhhhhhhhh, shit!”  
  
  
Tara watched as Willow fell backwards, then quickly scampered off, running full-speed towards the other side of the park.  
  
  
“Again?” Tara asked aloud, bewildered, “Did she really just run off again?”  
  
  
She blushed when she saw a few people off to the side stare at her, thinking she was talking to herself. She looked around and saw nothing out of the ordinary; a duck was swimming along quietly, a little kid nearby was poking his toe experimentally in the water and a frog was just about to jump onto a lily pad from the bank of the lake.  
  
  
She looked up and saw Willow was leaning against a tree, looking like she was struggling to catch her breath. She walked over, slightly peeved, but more concerned at what was wrong and put a hand on the redhead’s arm. The action made Willow’s head snap around and her eyes widened as she saw Tara.  
  
  
“Oh god,” she said, breathless, “Shit, baby, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t running from you, I promise, it’s just, there...there was...there was a frog...”  
  
  
Willow trailed off lamely and Tara just raised an eyebrow.  
  
  
“I’m afraid of frogs,” Willow said quietly, ducking her head and kicking her shoe against the grass, “I don’t know why, I just always have been.”  
  
  
“Oh,” Tara replied and pulled her girlfriend into a hug, “It’s okay.”  
  
  
“You don’t think I’m a massive baby?”  
  
  
Tara pulled back and shook her head, handing the redhead her roses.  
  
  
“Of course not. Can you hold those for me and sit down, sweetie, I’ll be back in a second, okay?”  
  
  
Willow complied and sat with her back resting against the trunk of the tree, putting the flowers down beside her and watched as Tara walked back to the lake and then back to her, something between her hands. The brunette sat down beside the redhead and gave her a small kiss on the cheek.  
  
  
“What’s that?” Willow asked curiously, tapping the top of her girlfriend’s hands.  
  
  
Tara removed her top hand and Willow yelped in fright when she saw the same frog she had just run away from. She started to back up but Tara grabbed her shoulder and kept her in place as the frog calmly sat in her hand.  
  
  
“Tara, let me go,” Willow whimpered, terrified, “Please let me go. And what the hell, I tell you I’m scared and you just bring the little slimy green thing to me? That’s like something Cordelia would’ve done, I didn’t think you were like that.”  
  
  
Tara winced at the harsh tone, but moved her hand down to take the redhead’s.  
  
  
“Do you trust me?”  
  
  
“I did,” Willow spat, eyeing the frog with pure hatred before looking back up at Tara, whose face had fallen by her response, “No, baby, I trust you. Of course I trust you.”  
  
  
Tara smiled again and looked down at the frog.  
  
  
“There’s nothing to be afraid of, sweetie. He’s just a creature, like all of us. He won’t do you any harm.”  
  
  
“But...” Willow protested, scrunching her nose up, “He’s all slimy and croaky and eats bugs.”  
  
  
“Well,” Tara replied with a laugh, “I bet he thinks it’s weird that our feet aren’t webbed or that we _don’t_ like bugs.”  
  
  
Willow looked down at the frog again, still suspicious.  
  
  
“See, he’s not hurting me or doing anything,” Tara continued, bringing their conjoined hands up, “Look...”  
  
  
Tara turned Willow’s hand in hers and held each of their fingers out, moving it towards the frog. The redhead stiffened but Tara just calmly continued, eventually using her hand to let Willow stroke the frog’s back. It let out a loud croak and Willow jumped back in fright but the brunette just laughed.  
  
  
“That’s just him saying he likes it,” she grinned, giving the frog a final stroke and bringing him near her face, “Thanks for helping me show my girlfriend you’re nothing to be scared of, Mr. Frog.”  
  
  
Willow gulped but brought her hand up, stroking the frog of her own accord this time.  
  
  
“It’s not so scary,” she whispered, smiling at Tara, then back at the frog, “You’re not so scary.”  
  
  
The frog croaked again and Tara held her hand out, letting it leap from her, getting hidden in the grass.  
  
  
“How did you do that?” Willow asked in awe, turning to Tara, “I’ve been afraid of those things since as long as I can remember.”  
  
  
“My Mom taught me to love everything in nature,” Tara replied softly, “That we’re all connected in the web of life. You’ve only really ever been afraid of the idea of frogs, Will. In reality...”  
  
  
“They’re just living their lives like we are,” Willow finished, smiling happily, “Your Mom sounds amazing. Tell me about her?”  
  
  
Tara smiled and wrapped her arm around the redhead’s shoulder, her smile getting wider when Willow cuddled into her side.  
  
  
“Well, okay, um...Her name was Elizabeth. Smith. Elizabeth Smith until she became Elizabeth Maclay. And um... well, she looked like me, except she was pretty.”  
  
  
Tara heard her girlfriend sigh and decided to amend her statement, still quite unsure of herself but trusting that Willow hadn’t been anything but genuine when she said how beautiful she was earlier.  
  
  
“She looked like me.”  
  
  
Willow beamed and threw her arm over the brunette’s waist as Tara began to softly stroke her hair.  
  
  
“Well, she grew up in England. In London. An only child. She used to tell me how she practically lived in this bookshop, Prose I think it was called. It was near where she lived anyway and apparently she spent all her free time there from when she was like 6 years old, she always loved books. She worked there from when she was 15 until she was 17. She left London then, when her parents died in a car accident. I’ve always wanted to see the city she was raised in.”  
  
  
“I’ll take you someday,” Willow piped up, happily and genuinely, “We can see Big Ben!”  
  
  
Tara closed her ideas in joy for a moment at the thought.  
  
  
“I’d love that...” she said with a sigh, knowing it could never happen, before shaking the thought off to go back to the story, “So, she was a teacher. An English teacher. Or at least she was until she married my Dad, then she became a stay at home Mom. But she still taught me things. We used to read Shakespeare together. Well, she read Shakespeare to me until I learnt to read, then we read together. And we used to go on nature walks, every Saturday morning. We lived on a farm near a forest so there were loads of places we could go. We’d play a game where I tried to name all the different flowers and animals I could see. We did that every weekend right up until...”  
  
  
Willow turned her head and kissed the brunette’s neck.  
  
  
“How did she...? Unless you don’t want to talk about it.”  
  
  
“No, it’s okay,” Tara replied softly, “She had a brain aneurysm. Went to sleep one night and just didn’t wake up.”  
  
  
Tara sighed for a moment; she’d often thought that her mother had just given up, not able to take the beatings her husband inflicted on her every day. Tara, of course, hadn’t known about the beatings until her mother had died and her father had made it very clear she was taking her place, but a larger more hopeful part felt that her mother wouldn’t have left her had she had any choice in it. She was pulled from her thoughts as Willow spoke up.  
  
  
“That’s terrible, baby. I’m sorry.”  
  
  
“Thanks,” Tara replied sincerely, “But at least she died peacefully. She didn’t suffer.”  
  
  
_Not anymore than Daddy already made her. Thank God we’re both away from him...even if my escape is only temporary._  
  
  
Tara shook her head, not wanting to think about that. Of how her happiness was sure to be short-lived, how she’d be forced back to Alabama as soon as the school year was over. She shook her head again and kissed the top of Willow’s head.  
  
  
“You’re the only thing that’s made me happy since she died.”  
  
  
Willow raised her head to look in Tara’s eyes.  
  
  
“I’m sorry you went through so many years of unhappiness. But I promise I’ll keep making you happy for as long as you let me.”


	8. Chapter 8

“I can’t believe a sheep just ran out in front of the bus!” Willow giggled as she walked through the door of their room, Tara right behind her, “And then the farmer was yelling at the bus driver, like it was his fault.”  
  
  
Tara gave a soft giggle as well in reference to the incident that had occured on the bus journey back from the town. They’d spent the afternoon just talking under the tree they’d been sitting under until it was time to head back to the school.  
  
  
Their hands had been permanently clasped to each other right up until they got to the school grounds and they both let go, for fear that if someone saw them and realised the true nature of their relationship, at the very least they would’ve been put in separate rooms and neither wanted that to happen.  
  
  
“It was very funny,” Tara agreed with a smile, before adding more shyly, “That was the most wonderful day of my life.”  
  
  
Willow turned and took both of the brunette’s hands.  
  
  
“Me too,” she answered honestly before leaning over for a quick kiss, “The best.”  
  
  
They shared another sweet kiss before Willow turned and sat on her bed, reaching under it for her personal laptop.  
  
  
“We could watch a movie tonight if you wanted?” she asked as she turned her laptop on, “There’s popcorn and stuff in the senior’s kitchen and I have loads of movies on here, we could watch whatever you like.”  
  
  
“Sounds good,” Tara nodded, sitting down on her own bed, putting her bouquet of roses on her nightstand.  
  
  
“Great,” Willow smiled, before gesturing to the machine on her lap, “I’m just gonna write in my diary for a few minutes, okay?”  
  
  
Tara nodded quietly before curiosity got the better of her.  
  
  
“I didn’t know you kept a diary.”  
  
  
Willow blushed slightly, looking up as she continued to type away.  
  
  
“I didn’t until I met you. I wanted a record of every single moment we spent together. You know, before and after...well, last night. I hope you don’t think that’s really creepy and stalker-y. I’d never show anyone or anything, and it’s password protected so if I write private things you tell me or things we do, no one would ever find out.”  
  
  
“I think it’s sweet,” Tara replied with a smile, “I won’t disturb you anymore.”  
  
  
The girls smiled at each other for a moment before Willow focused back entirely on her screen. Tara stared off into space for a few moments before glancing at her flowers and realised they needed water.  
  
  
She looked around the room and saw a tin container on top of the bookcase that was meant pencils but was empty so she went and picked it up, then quickly went into the bathroom and filled it so it was three-quarter ways full of water, before returning to her bed and putting the roses in. She smiled at them before bending down to retrieve her laptop from beside her bed, then sitting back on her mattress and turning the machine on, logging into facebook.  
  
  
_I didn’t even know what facebook was a week ago and now I’m like addicted. The internet is weird._  
  
  
Her profile came up on screen and she grinned as she saw a glaring irregularity and giddily brought the cursor over to the box that said ‘single’ and used the drop-down box to change it to ‘in a relationship’. She stared at the words dreamily, biting her lip in excitement until Willow spoke suddenly, making her jump a little in surprise and snapping it from her reverie.  
  
  
“Hey, you changed your relationship status!”  
  
  
Tara looked up from her laptop with a smirk.  
  
  
“I thought you were writing your diary?”  
  
  
“I may be on facebook too,” Willow blushed, “Can I link you as my girlfriend?”  
  
  
Tara stared at the redhead dumbly; she may have been able to log onto and mess around the addictive social networking site but the lingo still surpassed her. Willow saw the confused stare and gave a small giggle.  
  
  
“Okay, just go to your home page.”  
  
  
Tara nodded and clicked the ‘home’ button.  
  
  
“Now see on the right hand side there’s a little thing that says ‘requests’? Click on the line under that and press accept. Then go back to your profile page.”  
  
  
Tara followed the smaller girl’s instructions and grinned when she saw her profile.  
  
  
“Tara M. is in a relationship with Willow R.”  
  
  
“Yep,” Willow grinned, “You are. Whoa...”  
  
  
“What?” Tara asked, watching as Willow’s eyes widened at her screen, “You okay?”  
  
  
“Yea,” Willow replied with a chuckle, “Just all my online buddies are commenting like crazy on the whole ‘in a relationship’ thing. I’ve been kinda neglecting them lately, we used to talk every night for hours.”  
  
  
Tara ducked her head slightly.  
  
  
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you from your friends.”  
  
  
“Don’t be silly. Girlfriend trumps online buddies,” Willow responded quickly, “They’ll totally understand. And be totally jealous. Do you mind if I go into a chat with them for a little while? We can still talk and everything, we just might have to delay the movie half an hour or so.”  
  
  
“Go ahead, have fun,” Tara smiled, “I’ll do some of my English reading.”  
  
  
Willow blew a kiss across the room before focusing back solely on her screen and Tara brought up the pages from Othello they’d been assigned to read. She’d read the play numerous times already, but figured it would do no harm to have if fresh in her mind. An added bonus was that reading Shakespeare always reminded her of the happy memories she had with her mother.  
  
  
She smiled as she heard some giggles coming from the other side of the room and looked up briefly, surprised to see Willow suddenly frowning. She was going to ask again if something was wrong when the redhead spoke up first.  
  
  
“Baby? Can you come over here for a sec?”  
  
  
“Of course,” Tara replied, placing her laptop on the bed, “What’s up?”  
  
  
Willow scooted over on her bed and patted the space beside her; Tara sat down obligingly.  
  
  
“Can you wave at the screen?”  
  
  
“What?” Tara asked in confusion, before glancing at the screen and paling when she saw the camera was brought up, “Willow, who can see us?”  
  
  
“Just my buddies,” Willow replied, before pouting, “They think I’m making you up. They’re doubtful and it’s making me poutful.”  
  
  
“Wait...” Tara held up a hand, “We’ll get back to your friends thing in a minute. Poutful?”  
  
  
Willow nodded, a ‘duh’ expression on her face.  
  
  
“Yes. I’m poutful. To be full of pout.”  
  
  
“Sweetie, that’s not a word.”  
  
  
Willow looked defensive.  
  
  
“Yes it is.”  
  
  
Tara just raised her eyebrows and shook her head.  
  
  
“I have a dictionary right over there...”  
  
  
“Dictionary smicktionary-”  
  
  
“Also not a word.”  
  
  
“Tara!” Willow protested and the brunette couldn’t help but snigger at the fun she was having teasing the redhead, “Look, they’re all part of a much larger Willicon-”  
  
  
“Is that like a lexicon of all things Willow?”  
  
  
Willow grinned and nodded.  
  
  
“You’re catching on. Words you need to accept exist if you want to date me. Not that my silly friends even think you are dating me.”  
  
  
Tara face went back to that of confusion.  
  
  
“What? Why don’t they believe...?”  
  
  
“I dunno, ‘cause I’ve never had a girlfriend and most of them have never had a girlfriend, or a boyfriend and they just think I’m making you up!” Willow exclaimed, annoyed, “Stoopid friends.”  
  
  
“Okay, sweetie, calm down,” Tara said with a quiet voice before giving a small wave to the camera, “Now, see, they can all see I’m real.”  
  
  
Willow grinned and then suddenly pulled Tara into a kiss, surprising the brunette who took a second to respond. The redhead pulled away with an audible pop and smiled smugly at the camera.  
  
  
“Ha. Let them deny that.”  
  
  
Tara blushed bright red at the thought that people she’d never met had seen her kissing and Willow giggled.  
  
  
“Why’re you blushing? We were kissing for the whole world to see earlier and that was in the middle of a busy town!”  
  
  
“Uh huh,” Tara replied, moving off the bed again, going back to her own, “Just warn me next time, okay?”  
  
  
“Hey, Tare-bear, I’m sorry,” Willow said, getting off her bed and following the brunette, sitting beside her, “I didn’t think you’d mind and they were just annoying me with all their not believing and stuff. I’m sorry.”  
  
  
“It’s okay,” Tara replied with a small smile and a shrug, “It’s never a bad thing that you’re kissing me. And, um, I like ‘Tare-bear’.”  
  
  
“Yea? Good,” Willow grinned, “Just give me a few minutes to gloat over my super-hot, _real_ girlfriend and then we can have our movie time, okay?”  
  
  
“Sure,” Tara replied before cupping the redhead’s cheek and kissing her softly.  
  
  
Willow quietly murmured her approval into the kiss and moved her hands to the brunette's waist, then pushed her tongue forwards slightly, which Tara welcomed wholeheartedly. They fell back so the redhead was lying on top of her girlfriend as their tongues began stroking each other until they needed to break for air.  
  
  
“Wow, that’s distracting,” Willow said giddily, giving the taller girl another peck, “Two minutes, yea? And I’ll put on a really boring movie so we have an excuse to just do that.”  
  
  
Tara giggled and nodded as final gave her a final quick kiss and jumped off of her, traipsing back to her bed. The brunette stayed there, enjoying the tingling sensation in her lips and body until Willow’s voice rang out again.  
  
  
“Um...Tare?”  
  
  
Tara turned her head to look at her girlfriend.  
  
  
“Yea?”  
  
  
“Feel free to say no, but they’re asking and I think it’d be kinda cool...do you wanna come into the chat with us? You can meet my buddies? Virtually anyway, but that’s pretty much the only way I’ve met them too.”  
  
  
Tara raised herself up on her elbows.  
  
  
“You want me to meet your friends?”  
  
  
“Well, yea,” Willow replied, “If I had real-life friends I’d want you to meet them too, but I don’t, so...only if you want to of course.”  
  
  
“Okay,” Tara nodded with a smile, “Yea, definitely. What do I do?”  
  
  
“Great,” Willow beamed, “Okay, um, bring your laptop over here. Oh and the camera’s off by the way, so it’s just chat.”  
  
  
Tara seemed relieved by that and brought her laptop over to the bed, sitting beside Willow. The redhead took the machine from her and typed over it for a few minutes.  
  
  
“Okay, what do you want your screen-name to be?”  
  
  
“Um...” Tara trailed off, unsure, “Can it not just be Tara?”  
  
  
Willow giggled but nodded her head.  
  
  
“Sure. Okay, now here you go,” Willow placed the laptop back on the brunette’s lap, “Now I’ve downloaded the chat software and added myself as a friend, so I’m just gonna add you to the conversation I’m in with all the others, okay?”  
  
  
“Okay,” Tara nodded, “So how did you meet these people?”  
  
  
“Online forum for gay teens,” Willow answered, before adding more sheepish, “An online forum for geeky gay teens.”  
  
  
Tara bit her lip to stifle a laugh.  
  
  
“They have a forum for that?”  
  
  
“Baby, it’s the internet. They have forums for everything.”  
  
  
“Okay,” Tara giggled, “So are we on the forum now?”  
  
  
“No, it’s just a chat with my friends. You ready?”  
  
  
Tara nodded and watched as a small box flashed up on her screen.  
  


 

**Tara** Has Been Added To The Chat

  
  
  
_Jillybean:_ **Hey Tara!!!**  
  
_TheTiminator:_ **Yo**  
  
_Beccalicious:_ **Welcome**  
  
_Miss_Piggy:_ **Hello**  
  
_0101011101010010:_ **Hey baby**  
  
  
Tara looked up from the screen and at Willow.  
  
  
“You’re, um...01010....uh, that one?”  
  
  
Willow blushed and nodded.  
  
  
“It’s my initials in binary code,” she replied and saw the brunette was about to ask the question, so responded before she had the chance, “It’s the number system used to tell a computer what to do. All a series of 0’s and 1’s. Super geeky and I really, really wish I’d changed it before logging you on.”  
  
  
“Don’t change it,” Tara said with a smile, “I like it. It’s very...you. And I definitely like you.”  
  
  
_I love you. Don’t say it, Tara. Don’t risk it._  
  
  
“Well, thanks,” Willow replied with a goofy smile, “I really like you, too.”  
  
  
Tara ducked her head, looking back at the screen.  
  
  
“Okay, so do I just type and...?”  
  
  
“Press ‘enter’.”  
  
  
Tara nodded her understand and focused back on the chat.  
  
  
_Tara:_ **Hi everyone**  
  
_Jillybean:_ **Welcome, Tara. We’ll go through some introductions so you know who you’re talking to. I’m Jilly, I’m 16 and I live in Canada**  
  
_Beccalicious:_ **I’m Rebecca, but everyone calls me Becca, 17 and from Connecticut**  
  
_Miss_Piggy:_ **Penelope, 19, Texas**  
  
_TheTiminator:_ **Timothy, but only my mother calls me that, Tim to everyone else, 18 and I hail from the everglades of Florida**  
  
_0101011101010010:_ **Willow, 17, right beside you**  
  
_Tara:_ **Tara, 17, I’m from Alabama but in Switzerland at the moment**  
  
_TheTiminator:_ **Ah, the fortress of all unholy**  
  
_0101011101010010:_ **Hey it’s not so bad this year. I kinda was able to snag a really pretty girl to hang around with**  
  
_0101011101010010:_ **She’s blushing now so she might not respond**  
  
  
“Willow!”  
  
  
“What?” Willow asked innocently, “You were.”  
  
  
Tara blushed harder and turned back to the screen.  
  
  
_Tara:_ **I wasn’t blushing. It’s just hot in here**  
  
_Jillybean:_ **I’ll bet, we all saw that kiss earlier *fans self***  
  
_0101011101010010:_ **That little thing? You should’ve seen the kiss she planted on me a few minutes after that**  
  
_Miss_Piggy:_ **lmao**  
  
_Beccalicious:_ **:thud-worthy I’m sure**  
  
  
“Willow!”  
  
  
“You’re getting awfully fond of yelling my name at that decibel,” Willow replied, holding her hands against her ears, before looking apologetic, “I’m sorry. This is just how we are with each other. I’ll stop encouraging them, though.”  
  
  
“No,” Tara replied, relenting, “I want you to be how you are with your friends. I’ll just get used to blushing.”  
  
  
Willow grinned and leaned over for a quick kiss until Tara pulled back and pointed at the screen.  
  
  
“What does...‘lmao’ mean?”  
  
  
“Laughing my ass off,” Willow explained, “It’s like an internet shorthand.”  
  
  
“Oh. Okay.”  
  
  
Willow saw her girlfriend was still a little confused and resumed typing.  
  
  
_0101011101010010:_ **Can we keep the geek speak on the down low guys? My girl’s an internet noob**  
  
_Jillybean:_ **Ah. No problem Don’t feel bad Tara, we all were once**  
  
_TheTiminator:_ **Many, many eons ago**  
  
_Miss_Piggy:_ **Hey, Tara, can we add you on facebook?**  
  
_Tara:_ **Sure**  
  
_Jillybean:_ **Yay! New friends!**  
  
_Jillybean:_ **Request sent!**  
  
_Beccalicious:_ **Jeez, Jilly you’ve got lightening fast fingers. How do you not have a girlfriend?**  
  
_Jillybean:_ **You know, I ask myself the same question everyday Willow managed to be the first one of us to snag a significant other**  
  
_TheTiminator:_ **Why don’t we all go to same-sex boarding schools in Europe?**  
  
_Miss_Piggy:_ **Hot profile pic, Tara You pretty set on Willow being your girlfriend?**  
  
_0101011101010010:_ **Hey!**  
  
  
“That means what the-”  
  
  
“I got it, sweetie,” Tara cut the redhead off with a smile, “And you know you’re the only girl for me.”  
  
  
_Tara:_ **My heart is completely set on her**  
  
_0101011101010010:_  
  
_Miss_Piggy:_ **Can’t blame a girl for trying, Will.**  
  
_0101011101010010:_ **Well tough luck ‘cause she’s all mine**  
  
_Tara:_ **All hers**  
  
_Beccalicious:_ **You guys are so cute**  
  
  
Tara smiled at the comment and turned to Willow, who was already looking at her adoringly. Their lips acted like magnets, attaching themselves to one another as they fell into an instant passionate kiss, only stopping when the brunette’s laptop almost fell off her knee, Willow grabbing it just in time before quickly typing on her own.  
  
  
_0101011101010010:_ **Okay we gotta go**  
  
_Tara:_ **Yep. Study**  
  
_0101011101010010:_ **Much study to attend to**  
  
_Miss_Piggy:_ **Is that what the kids are calling it these days?**  
  
_Beccalicious:_ **Thats what the kids have been calling it for years**  
  
_Jillybean:_ **Sigh. I wanna ‘study’**  
  
_TheTiminator:_ **You could try ‘studying’ by yourself**  
  
_0101011101010010:_ **Right. Leaving. Bye!**  
  
_Tara:_ **Bye everyone. It was really nice meeting Willow’s friends**  
  
_Jillybean:_ **Bye Nice to meet you too, Tara. We’re glad our Willow found someone**  
  
_Beccalicious:_ **Very glad Have a good evening you guys**  
  
_TheTiminator:_ **Don’t leave us hanging with no contact for so long again Willow! Nice meeting you, Tara. Talk soon!**  
  
_Miss_Piggy:_ **Goodbyyyyeeee! Glad you’re part of the gang now, Tara.**  
  
_0101011101010010:_ **See ya**  
  
_Tara:_ **Bye**  
  


 

**Willow** Has Logged Off

  


 

**Tara** Has Logged Off

  
  
  
Willow slammed her laptop closed and grabbed both machines, leaning over Tara to put them quickly but carefully on the floor before grabbing onto the back of the brunette’s head and latching onto her lips. Tara bit back a moan as her hand moved to caress the redhead’s neck as they lay alongside one another, kissing fervently.  
  
  
“Um...Will...” Tara managed to get out between kisses, “Willow...”  
  
  
Willow pulled back completely, flustered.  
  
  
“What? What’s wrong?” she asked before a look of insecurity crossed over her face, “Was I using too much tongue?”  
  
  
“No,” Tara giggled before the same look crossed over her, “Was I?”  
  
  
“God, no,” Willow shook her head with a grin, “I can never get enough of that tongue.”  
  
  
Tara blushed and Willow moved to tuck a piece of hair behind her girlfriend’s ear.  
  
  
“Do you not want to make out? We can actually watch a movie if you want.”  
  
  
“I wanna make out,” Tara replied shyly, “I just wanted to say that I agree with what your friends were saying. I’m really glad I found you.”  
  
  
Willow felt her heart melt and smiled.  
  
  
“I’m glad I found you too.”  
  
  
Tara smiled back and they met in a more reserved, sweet kiss than the ones previous until Willow pulled away and placed a kiss on the brunette’s nose.  
  
  
“It was always gonna happen though.”  
  
  
“It was?” Tara asked quietly, though she had hoped and thought the same.  
  
  
Willow nodded with a small smile.  
  
  
“Yea. ‘Cause no matter what, I’ll always find you.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Hey, baby, look at this!”  
  
  
Tara peered over the redhead’s shoulder at the poster she was pointing at, stapled to a tree, advertising a travelling American carnival that was coming to town that week.  
  
  
“People really shouldn’t staple things to trees,” she said with a frown, “It’s a living thing, too.”  
  
  
“Well, here, let’s fix it,” Willow replied, tearing down the poster. Seeing the staples were still lodged in the bark, she reached behind her head and took the hair clip that was in there, then put the thin edges beneath the staples and used it as leverage to pull them out, “Now. All better.”  
  
  
Tara got a huge smile on her face at the gesture as the redhead pointed excitedly at the poster in her hands.  
  
  
“Look, it starts next Saturday! Your birthday’s Friday and mine’s Sunday, we could like, combine them and celebrate on the Saturday! Whaddya say?”  
  
  
“It sounds fun,” Tara agreed, then saw the times listed on the paper, “But it’s all happening in the evening.”  
  
  
“We can get special leave. We’ll have to be back before dark, but still,” Willow replied, understanding what her girlfriend meant, “You have to like put it in writing to the headmistress in advance, but I don’t see why she wouldn’t say yes. We’re good students and we’ve never gotten in trouble.”  
  
  
“We would if she knew you kissed me senseless every night.”  
  
  
“Well lucky she doesn’t,” Willow grinned, taking the brunette’s hand as they walked around the park, a weekly occurrence for them since that first weekend, “You know what else next Saturday is? Our six week anniversary.”  
  
  
“So it is,” Tara beamed, “Six weeks like no other.”  
  
  
Willow could only nod in agreement at that; the six weeks that they’d officially been girlfriends had gotten better and better as each day progressed. No one in the school, or at least not the people that mattered, suspected their relationship to be anything other than friendship and the girls were careful not to draw any attention to themselves outside of their room so it stayed that way.   
  
  
Online chatting had become a regular fixture in both their lives as Tara easily meshed into friendships with Willow’s internet buddies and when they weren’t in class, doing homework, messing online or at meals, their time was spent just talking and kissing, enabling them to become closer each day.  
  
  
 _Definitely a six weeks like no other._  
  
  
Willow smiled at the thought before glancing down at her watch.  
  
  
“Almost time to head back, beautiful.”  
  
  
Tara resisted the urge to duck her head; she still couldn’t get used to Willow calling her that, or any variant of it. Still, she knew her girlfriend meant it so she figured the least she could do was accept it.  
  
  
“Don’t wanna miss the bus,” she replied with a small smile, “So what do you want to do tonight?”  
  
  
Willow got a mischievous smile on her face before exclaiming loudly.  
  
  
“The same thing we do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world!”  
  
  
***  
  
  
“Ooh, House of Mirrors. You wanna go in here, baby?”  
  
  
Tara nodded, happy to go wherever the redhead wanted to. They’d only been at the carnival a few minutes, having gotten special leave from the headmistresses easily but Tara was already blown away by the sheer magnitude of everything; the lights, the sounds, Willow’s excitement.   
  
  
There had been a few passing funfairs in the town near to where she lived in Alabama but she’d never been permitted to go, so this was a whole new experience for her.  
  
  
“Heh, look Tare, my head is huge!”  
  
  
Tara was pulled from her thoughts as she realised Willow had pulled them into the tent and they were now surrounded by a variety of differently angled mirrors, the one in front of them making their heads look quite disproportionately large compared to their bodies. She giggled along with her girlfriend as they walked on, going from insanely skinny to insanely big and every variant in between.   
  
  
They reached the end of the tent and Tara was going to walk out, but Willow was stuck to the spot, her focus completely on the mirror in front of them. The brunette frowned in confusion at her girlfriend before glancing at the mirror and blushing bright red when she realised that particular optical illusion made their top halves considerably bigger than their bottom halves, thus making Tara’s breasts look enormous.  
  
  
“Um...Willow?” Tara tried after a moment, glancing behind her and seeing there was a crowd of people making their way through the tent, some waiting for them to move so they could continue, “Sweetie, there’s a line.”  
  
  
Willow snapped herself to attention and looked behind at the others, then at Tara, clearing her throat when she realised what she’d been doing.  
  
  
“Right. We should, uh...move on so.”  
  
  
“Uh huh.”  
  
  
They walked out of the tent and back into the flurry of lights and commotion, neither saying anything until Tara broke the silence with a cheeky smile.  
  
  
“So...you’re a breast-gal huh?”  
  
  
Willow groaned and dropped her head for a moment, before turning to Tara, blushing.  
  
  
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to be all pervy but, you know, they were just...there...and huge.”  
  
  
Tara looked down at her chest, covered by her t-shirt and frowned.  
  
  
“You know they’re not that big in real life, right?”  
  
  
“Oh they’re plenty big,” Willow chuckled before gulping and backtracking at the look she got, “Not that I’ve looked! At least not when you’re changing or anything, but you do that in the bathroom anyway...I just meant that it was a possibility that perhaps my gaze may have been – momentarily – drawn downwards on a couple of occasions when you were bending over. Once or twice. Okay, anytime I have the chance but baby I can’t help it, you’re gorgeous and well, I like boobs!”  
  
  
Willow said her last statement quite loudly, which attracted a few stares and Tara pulled them around a corner to another part of the carnival, away from the prying eyes.  
  
  
“Sweetheart, can you keep your voice down please?” she asked, blushing fiercely, before her voice got quieter, “And I was just teasing. You’re allowed look, you know. I have no idea why you’d want to, but you are allowed.”  
  
  
“Really?” Willow asked, her face lighting up.  
  
  
Tara cast her face down, but her eyes looked up as she kicked a stone near her foot.  
  
  
“Yea. And, I, um...I kinda check out your butt whenever I can.”  
  
  
“You do?” Willow asked with a giddy smile, before looking behind herself and frowning, “But I don’t even have an ass. I’m shaped like a little boy.”  
  
  
Tara got a smile on her face and shook her head.  
  
  
“You’re shaped like the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. And you definitely have an ass.”  
  
  
Willow blushed but had a pleased smile on her face too.  
  
  
“Well I’ll have to start wearing tighter jeans just for you,” she said with a joke in her voice before spotting something up ahead, “Bumper cars!”  
  
  
Tara giggled, secretly hoping her girlfriend wasn’t just joking about those tight jeans, as she got pulled towards the large ring filled with the small electric cars. Willow quickly paid the operator and got two tokens, handing one to the brunette, who frowned slightly.  
  
  
“Tara, it’s our birthday celebration,” Willow said quietly, taking both of her girlfriend’s hands, “We’re having fun, so no money worries. I don’t even want the money I have if I can’t share it with you. Okay?”  
  
  
Tara got a small smile on her face and nodded which made Willow beam and place a warm kiss on her lips for a moment.  
  
  
“So how do these things work?” Tara asked when they pulled apart.  
  
  
“You’ve never been in a bumper car before?” Willow asked in disbelief, “They’re so much fun. Okay, so you just strap yourself in and...you know what, let’s just share a car.”  
  
  
Tara nodded, her eyes bright.  
  
  
“Sounds good.”  
  
  
Willow pulled them into the ring and towards a bright pink car. She stepped in the driver’s side while Tara got in beside her and both pulled the straps over their shoulders.  
  
  
“You ready?” Willow asked, putting the token in the slot near the wheel, “There’s gonna be a lot of bumping.”  
  
  
Tara laughed.  
  
  
“I’m ready.”  
  
  
“Good,” Willow grinned as the ring lit up and the other cars started to move, “‘Cause we’re moving.”  
  
  
The redhead slammed her foot down on the accelerator and the car jerked forwards as Willow spun the wheel around beneath her hands. Both girls started giggling loudly as they drove around the track and crashed recklessly into the other drivers until the ride stopped.  
  
  
“Wanna go again?” Willow asked excitedly, “You wanna drive this time? Here, take this token, I’ll go get another one and we can ride against each other.”  
  
  
“Okay,” Tara smiled, slipping into the driver’s seat as Willow stood up, “I’m gonna kick your ass.”  
  
  
“Oh don’t be so cocky, Maclay. I’m a master of the bumper cars.”  
  
  
Tara watched as Willow ran up to the operator, then got into a blue car across from her before sticking out her tongue. Tara just discreetly blew her a kiss and the same time as the ride started again, which distracted the redhead enough that the taller girl was able to ram into her straight away.   
  
  
Tara laughed at the shocked look on her girlfriend’s face before quickly driving in the opposite direction as the look changed to one of fierce determination. She glanced over her shoulder and frowned when she didn’t see Willow, then jumped in surprise when she felt a strong bang from the side.   
  
  
She turned her head to see the redhead laughing wildly and had to laugh back as she reversed the car and they continued to chase each other until the ride stopped again and they stepped out of their cars, giggling as they walked towards each other and clasped hands.  
  
  
“That was so much fun,” Willow gushed as they stepped off the track and started walking back around the carnival, “Hey, look, games! Do you want a teddy bear? I can win you a teddy bear!”  
  
  
Tara didn’t have a chance to respond as Willow pulled her towards a man in a stripy shirt, standing next to a large stand that had a platform at the end with a ball attached and a bell on top, a mallet lying alongside it.  
  
  
“Ring the bell, win a prize! Would you like a try little lady?”  
  
  
Willow nodded enthusiastically and gave the man a dollar for three go’s before picking up the mallet and holding it over her shoulder, then bringing it down as hard as she could, frowning when the ball only reached half-way up the stand. She adjusted her stance and took a deep breath before swinging the mallet again, a flash of anger crossing her features when the ball reached below where she’d gotten it before.  
  
  
“Can I try?” Tara asked softly from behind the redhead, seeing her girlfriend was getting mad at herself.  
  
  
Willow pouted and handed the mallet over, watching in surprise and awe as the brunette managed to slam the mallet against the platform, the ball rising in seconds and loudly ringing the bell.  
  
  
“Well done, ma’am,” the man in the stripy shirt said with a smile, “Choose your prise.”  
  
  
Tara pointed at a string necklace with a butterfly, about the size of a penny, made of beads at the end that was hanging on the stall behind the man and he picked it up and handed it to her. She then walked back to Willow who was gaping at her.  
  
  
“How the hell did you manage that?!”  
  
  
Tara shrugged bashfully.  
  
  
“I grew up on a farm. Lots of lifting. Just have strong arms I guess. This is for you.”  
  
  
She held out the necklace shyly and Willow took it gently, running her finger along the outline of the butterfly, then fastening it around her neck.  
  
  
“I’m never gonna take it off,” she said quietly, smiling at her girlfriend, “Thank you.”  
  
  
The redhead hooked her thumbs into Tara’s jeans and pulled her towards her, kissing her softly. She pulled back after a few seconds, quite aware they were in a very public place and pulled Tara towards another one of the booths, where you threw darts and tried to burst balloons.  
  
  
“You may have the strong arms in this relationship, but I bet I have the steadiest,” she said with a grin, handing another dollar over to the counter to a young woman this time, and lowering her voice so Tara couldn’t hear, “I’m going for that heart-shaped toy, what do I need to burst to get that?”  
  
  
The young woman smiled and glanced at Tara, then back at Willow.  
  
  
“Three red.”  
  
  
Willow nodded and smiled back at Tara for a moment before picking up the first dart and after a moment of judging the distance with her eyes, threw it, bursting a red balloon. She heard the brunette clap behind her and threw the next two darts in quick succession, two more red balloons popping as they were burst by the sharp edge. The woman behind the stall handed the heart-shaped plush toy, which had arms and legs hanging from it and a smiley face on its body to Willow, who in turn spun around and handed it to Tara.  
  
  
“For my lady.”  
  
  
Tara held the toy to her chest and smiled sweetly.  
  
  
“Thank you. Where did you learn to throw darts?”  
  
  
“I had a dart-board with Cordelia’s face on it in my bedroom at home,” Willow answered as she took the brunette’s hand and started walking around again, “Throwing darts kind of became a nightly ritual. I know, I know, not healthy to harbour so much hate towards someone, but, hey, if she hadn’t been so mean to me, I wouldn’t have done that thing at the dance and got sent here or met you, so...thank you Cordy for being the mega-bitch you are!”  
  
  
Tara smiled but was stopped from responding as Willow suddenly started jumping up and down excitedly, pointing ahead.  
  
  
“Hey, baby, rollercoaster! We have to go on the rollercoaster!”


	10. Chapter 10

Tara paled at the mention of the rollercoaster and slowed in her pace. Willow turned to her and frowned.  
  
  
“What’s wrong? Is the rollercoaster? Are you scared? We don’t have to go on if you’re scared, it was just an idea. There’s loads of other stuff we can do here.”  
  
  
“I’ve just never been on one before,” Tara admitted shyly before looking up at her girlfriend, “Will you hold my hand?”  
  
  
“Of course,” Willow replied with a warm smile, “I’ll never let go.”  
  
  
Tara smiled widely.  
  
  
“Well then, lead the way.”  
  
  
Willow squealed excitedly and walked them to the entrance of the rollercoaster, which luckily didn’t have much of a line as it was still early in the evening. The smaller girl stepped into the cart first and Tara followed, before the steel bar was lowered and clicked securely into place. The brunette held onto the bar tightly with one hand as the other held onto her soft toy and smiled as she felt Willow put one hand over hers, then scooted closer so their hips were touching.  
  
  
“It’s less scary if you close your eyes,” Willow said as the ride started and they pushed forwards.  
  
  
“Thanks,” Tara replied, though she was determined to keep them open and have the full experience of the ride.  
  
  
Tara held her breath as the cart started slowly inching upwards on the track until they were stationary on top of the first arch. She glanced down and gulped when she saw the extent of the drop but didn’t have much time to process her fear as the cart suddenly plunged downwards, the speed making the air rush up into both their faces.   
  
  
Willow started laughing in a mixture of nervousness and exhilaration as they sped up and down the loops of the rollercoaster, glancing to the side and seeing that Tara was doing the same. They locked eyes for a moment which made them both laugh even harder until the cart pulled up where it had started, the ride over.  
  
  
“Wow,” Tara said as she stepped out of the cart and back onto the ground, taking Willow’s hand to help her out too, “That was...”  
  
  
“Thrilling,” Willow giggled, biting her lip excitedly, “You liked it then?”  
  
  
Tara nodded vigorously.  
  
  
“It was great. The only other time I’ve ever felt that exhilarated is...”   
  
  
She trailed off shyly, but Willow bumped her hip playfully and prompted for more.  
  
  
“What?”   
  
  
Tara blushed but turned to meet the redhead’s gaze.  
  
  
“Whenever I kiss you.”  
  
  
Willow blushed as well but got a big smile on her face.  
  
  
“If I knew I was just like a rollercoaster, I’d have charged admission,” she quipped before frowning, “I really didn’t mean for that to sound like I wanted to be a hooker.”  
  
  
Tara giggled and Willow surprised her by planting a warm kiss on her lips, then pulled back and started walking them towards the food concession stand.  
  
  
“You hungry, baby? I could really go for some fried chicken...”  
  
  
They both ordered some fried chicken and sat on a space of grass as they ate it before spending the next couple of hours enjoying the rest of the carnival before the sun started to set and they began to head back to their bus stop, knowing they had to check in back at the school before nightfall.  
  
  
They arrived back in their room with smiles on their faces and Tara placed her heart soft toy against her pillow before reaching under her bed and pulling out a square shaped object that had purple tissue wrapped around it as Willow turned on the radio on her nightstand, soft music filling the room.   
  
  
“I wasn’t sure whether to give this to you tomorrow, but since we’re celebrating today, I figured...”  
  
  
Willow spun around at the sound of her girlfriend’s voice and she looked surprised as she saw the gift being held out towards her.  
  
  
“Tara, you didn’t have to get me anything,” she said softly, taking the offering and smiling, “It’s squishy.”  
  
  
She excitedly ripped the purple paper away to reveal a plain black throw cushion.  
  
  
“Aw, thanks, baby,” Willow said happily, running her fingers along the soft material, “Now I have something to cuddle when I’m going to sleep.”  
  
  
“Uh, Willow...” Tara replied shyly and nervously, “Um, turn it around.”  
  
  
Willow looked confused but turned the cushion around in her hands, her eyes widening when she saw the design of that side; the black material acted as a border but there was a large white square of material that encompassed most of the cushion. What the redhead was blown away by was the design inside the white square; an exact replica of The Periodic Table of The Elements, each individual element in its own square, the different sections colour coded.  
  
  
“Tara, where did you get this?” Willow asked excitedly, “It’s awesome!”  
  
  
“I made it.”  
  
  
Willow’s head shot up, her eyes going wider than before.  
  
  
“You made this?” she asked in disbelief, “Like actually made this? Like ‘needle and thread’ made this?”  
  
  
“Well the plain black and white stuff I was able to use the sewing machine for. But the other stuff, yea. Do you like it? I know you like science and I asked the guys online and they thought it was a good idea. You don’t have to keep it if you don’t like it.”  
  
  
“Tara, it’s amazing,” Willow replied in awe, “How did you do this?”  
  
  
“Oh, um...” Tara started to explain with a smile, “Well the large bits I did during Home Ec, which was easy since you wouldn’t have noticed me doing anything different than in a regular class. And then for the rest I just brought the thread and needles and stuff from the Home Ec room and I’ve been waking up early while you were still sleeping to work on it. Then I just had to stuff it.”  
  
  
Willow felt at a loss for words as she looked between Tara and her gift, both at how her girlfriend had managed to think of something to give her that she truly loved and at the sheer effort and dedication she’d gone to in order to produce it for. Her fingers traced over the individual lettering and she couldn’t help a small laugh.  
  
  
“Hydrogen, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Uranium. Yep, they’re all here. I can’t believe you did this for me.”  
  
  
“Well, it is your 18th birthday,” Tara replied shyly, “And I’m your girlfriend. I think that warrants gift-giving.”  
  
  
Willow held her pillow to her chest for a second before placing it on her bed and opening the drawer of her nightstand, taking out a flat rectangular-shaped object, wrapped in shiny blue paper that had the words ‘Happy Birthday’ written all over it. She turned back around and handed it to her girlfriend.  
  
  
“I was gonna give it to you yesterday, but...like you said, we’re celebrating today. Happy Birthday.”  
  
  
Tara shakily held a hand out and accepted the gift. The only birthday presents she’d ever received were horse riding sessions with her mother, and only then because her mother had known someone who owned a ranch and so was able to take the horses out for free, so her father had never found out, but she hadn’t gotten anything since her mother had died.   
  
  
Her father had plenty of money, almost all of it coming from his own father who had been a rich oil baron, but he wasn’t one for sharing, at least not with the women in his life. He and Donny never wanted for anything, but Tara’s mother, and Tara after her mother had died, had had to keep the house going on a shoestring. Tara was shocked when she was told she was being sent to boarding school, purely because she would never have expected him to be willing to spend that amount on her.  
  
  
 _Only because he caught me...Never would’ve spent a penny if he wasn’t so disgusted. Well tough luck, Daddy, ‘cause I have a beautiful girlfriend so your plan to de-gay me didn’t work one bit._  
  
  
Tara felt proud at her own thought, even though it was just a thought, it was still the closest she’d ever come to actually confronting or saying anything in challenge to her father. She pulled herself from her musings though when she saw Willow was looking at her expectantly, since she still hadn’t opened her present.  
  
  
“Sorry. Just admiring the wrapping.”   
  
  
She smiled a small smile, before carefully folding back the paper and pulling the object out, turning it her hands to reveal a silver frame with the words ‘You and Me’ swirled across the top. The actual photograph inside the frame was actually a bunch of different pictures of the two of them, ones they’d taken both with Willow’s webcam and her actual camera, so the location varied between their room or different locations in the town. They’d all been cut out and placed so they fit perfectly together, their smiles beaming in each photo.  
  
  
“Do you like it?” Willow asked nervously when Tara failed to say anything after a few minutes, “I should’ve gotten you jewellery. Every girl likes jewellery, but no, I had to try and be cute and creative. I’m sorry. We can go into town next weekend if you want and you can pick out a necklace or a bracelet or whatever you want. I can’t remember if there’s a jewellery store but I’m sure we can find somewhere...”  
  
  
Tara tore her eyes away from her gift when she realised Willow was talking and frowned.  
  
  
 _Why the hell is she talking about jewellery?_  
  
  
“Willow...” Tara said, cutting her girlfriend off, “What are you talking about?”  
  
  
Willow gestured towards the picture frame.  
  
  
“Your present. I said I’ll buy you jewellery instead since you don’t like it.”  
  
  
“Who said I didn’t like it?”  
  
  
Willow opened and closed her mouth a few times in confusion.  
  
  
“I...I just thought...”  
  
  
“I love it more than anything,” Tara replied genuinely, and couldn’t help but smile as she glanced down at the frame again, “We look really good together. I don’t mean attractive, even though you’re absolutely gorgeous, I just mean...”  
  
  
“We’re happy,” Willow finished, peering over to look at her work as well, “We look good together because we’re right together. Nothing and no one could ever change that.”  
  
  
Tara grinned and turned to place her gift on her night stand before spinning back around and walking towards Willow with purpose, taking a hold of her hips. She leant her head down and met the redhead’s lips softly for a few moments before pulling away just an inch and speaking in a breathy tone.  
  
  
“Rollercoaster.”  
  
  
Willow felt her heart burst and was about to respond when a familiar tone caught her ears and she squealed excitedly.  
  
  
“I love this song!”  
  
  
She ran over to the radio and turned the volume up, the louder beats of Kylie Minogue’s ['Love At First Sight'](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wf421JsG004) filling the room as Willow went back to Tara and took her hands.  
  
  
“Dance with me?”  
  
  
“I can’t dance,” Tara replied shyly.  
  
  
“Either can I,” Willow answered with a smile, “Come on, it’s just me.”  
  
  
Tara looked nervous for another second before giving a small nod and Willow squealed again before spinning the brunette in place. Tara laughed and followed her girlfriend’s lead, dancing exuberantly around the room as she listened to the song. She hadn’t heard the particular tune before but quite liked the melody and couldn’t help but feel how much she related to the words.   
  
  
_'Cause baby when I heard you  
For the first time I knew   
We were meant to be as one   
  
Was tired of running out of luck   
Thinking 'bout giving up yeah   
Didn't know what to do   
Then there was you   
  
And everything went from wrong to right   
And the stars came out and filled up the sky   
The music you were playing really blew my mind   
It was love at first sight_  
  
  
Unbeknownst to Tara, Willow was thinking the exact same thing; that the lyrics were describing her feelings perfectly. She smiled and spun her girlfriend again, giggling when Tara lost her footing and ended up pulling them both down onto the redhead’s bed, alongside each other. They met in a soft kiss and the smaller girl reached over to turn the volume of the radio down again before pulling back and looking at the brunette shyly, running a hand down her arm.  
  
  
“It was, you know.”  
  
  
Tara’s brow crinkled in confusion.  
  
  
“What?”  
  
  
Willow took a deep breath but never let her eyes leave Tara’s.  
  
  
“Love at first sight.”  
  
  
Tara felt her breath hitch in her throat.  
  
  
 _Did she just say that she loves me? She said love. She said she loves me. Willow Rosenberg loves me. Stop thinking about it, Tara and quickly tell her you love her back!_  
  
  
“For me too.”  
  
  
“Really?” Willow asked, her voice thick with emotion, “Really? Just, just so we’re clear-”  
  
  
“I love you, Willow,” Tara cut her girlfriend off with a warm smile, “I love you. I’ve always loved you.”  
  
  
“Oh god, Tara, me too, I’ve always loved you too,” Willow replied in a rush, “I love you with all my heart.”  
  
  
Willow quickly captured the brunette’s lips again, trying to pass all her love through the kiss. Tara responded as eagerly, her mind going into overdrive.  
  
  
 _She loves me. This wonderful, perfect girl loves me. She loves me, she thinks I’m beautiful...maybe I am. Maybe she makes me that way. She was spot on earlier, we are right together. So right. How am I gonna cope when I have to leave her? No, no, don’t think about that. We still have months and months together until the school year is over. No more thinking; you’re in a loving relationship and your girlfriend is kissing you. That’s all that matters._  
  
  
She let herself get lost in the kiss, the warm sensation building in the pit of her stomach and the soft feeling of lips on lips. It wasn’t long before they brought their tongues into play and began softly stroking each other until they had to pull apart for air.  
  
  
“I love you,” Willow whispered breathlessly.  
  
  
Tara closed her eyes for a moment, savouring hearing those words.  
  
  
“I love you too.”  
  
  
Willow smiled and ran her hand down the brunette’s arm again.  
  
  
“I love my cushion, baby, but you saying those words...that’s the best present I’ve ever gotten.”


	11. Chapter 11

“I’m gonna miss you.”   
  
  
Willow murmured a silent response as she continued to hungrily devour Tara’s lips, both of them lying alongside each other on her bed.   
  
  
“What day’s your flight again?”   
  
  
Willow sighed as Tara interrupted their kissing again to ask a question she didn’t want to answer and had avoided doing so on all instances previous when the brunette had asked it.   
  
  
“Baby, it’s smoochie time. Shush.”   
  
  
Tara felt the redhead capture her lips again and responded for a moment before pulling away.   
  
  
“I just wanna know when you’re going so I know how long I have left with you. School finishes up on Friday, are you leaving that night or over the weekend?”   
  
  
Willow sighed again and averted her eyes before looking back up at her girlfriend.   
  
  
“Okay, before I tell you this, you have to know that my mind’s made up and I’ve made all the arrangements so there’s no changing things okay?”   
  
  
Tara frowned.   
  
  
“Willow, what are you talking about?”   
  
  
Willow exhaled slowly for a moment before speaking.   
  
  
“I’m not going home for winter break. I’m staying here with you.”   
  
  
Tara’s eyes widened in shock.   
  
  
“What?”   
  
  
“I’m staying here with you,” Willow replied calmly, “It’s not right that you were gonna be alone for the holidays, especially in this place and I knew you wouldn’t accept me buying you a ticket to spend them in California in my house, even though you would've been more than welcome, so I’m staying here.”   
  
  
Tara’s mouth hung open in shock for a moment before she shook her head.   
  
  
“Willow, you can’t stay here for me. That’s not fair on you. Just because my family don’t want me home for the holidays doesn’t mean-”   
  
  
“My parents aren’t even gonna be there,” Willow cut her girlfriend off, “They’re gone to Australia for the month. Which means I would be sitting at home, all alone, wishing I was with you. Baby, I would’ve told you sooner but I knew you were gonna feel bad about it. But please don’t, okay? This was my decision, you in no way made me feel obligated to stay, I’m just staying because you’re supposed to spend the holidays with the people you love and well, you’re the people I love. Or person. Whatever. Anyway, Hanukkah’s been and gone, so even if my parents were there, we wouldn’t be celebrating.”   
  
  
“Why didn’t you tell when it was Hanukkah?” Tara asked softly, “I would’ve celebrated with you. If you wanted.”   
  
  
Willow gave a small smile.   
  
  
“That’s sweet. But we don’t even really celebrate at home. We never go to synagogue or anything. I guess I never really thought about it. But, um, are we okay? ‘Cause there was smooching...”   
  
  
Tara bit her lip in contemplation for a moment as she mulled over everything her girlfriend has said.   
  
  
“Are you sure you want to stay here? Stuck with the school rules and bedtimes and set meals when you could be at home doing whatever you want?”   
  
  
Willow smiled and let out a low chuckle.   
  
  
“Tara, the last three months have been the best of my life with all the boring rules, because you’ve been there. Anywhere I am is magical as long as you’re with me.”   
  
  
Tara got a shy smile on her face, her eyes lighting up.   
  
  
“I really don’t have to say goodbye to you?”   
  
  
“Nope,” Willow shook her head, “Never.”   
  
  
Tara managed a smile, though her first thought was that their 'goodbye' was just delayed. She was still opting not to think about the end of the school year though, so closed her eyes for a split second before reopening them with a grin.   
  
  
“Sneaky vixen,” she said, throwing her arm over her girlfriend’s body to bring their bodies closer together, “C’mere.”   
  
  
Willow felt Tara’s lips touch her own and the familiar electric feeling shot through her, but her mind was more focused on the fact that when the brunette had thrown her arm over her body, her hand had landed on her ass and was still resting there. They hadn’t gone any further than passionate kissing so this was a new experience.   
  
  
Tara noticed that her girlfriend wasn’t responding quite as enthusiastically to the kiss as she might’ve hoped and pulled back, concern etched in her features.   
  
  
“What’s up, love?”   
  
  
Willow could only gulp and glance down at Tara’s hand. The brunette followed her eyeline and gasped, quickly pulling her hand back.   
  
  
“I’m so sorry, sweetie. I didn’t mean...I didn’t realise I was touching...I’m sorry.”   
  
  
Willow bit her lip before speaking quietly.   
  
  
“It’s okay.”   
  
  
“I’m still really sor-”   
  
  
“No, Tara,” Willow cut the brunette off with a shy smile, “I mean it’s okay. You know, if you want to touch. It’s okay.”   
  
  
It was Tara’s turn to gulp this time as her eyes widened slightly.   
  
  
“Really?”   
  
  
Willow blushed.   
  
  
“If you want.”   
  
  
Tara bit her lip and shuffled her body closer to the redhead’s, her hand hovering above them uncertainly for a few moments before she brought it down and let it rest over Willow’s jean-covered ass again before giving it a curious squeeze.   
  
  
Willow giggled and Tara worried she’d done something wrong but the smaller girl was quick to reassure.   
  
  
“Good giggle, baby. It’s just, you’re groping me. My girlfriend is groping me.”   
  
  
Tara still didn’t quite see the humour but was enjoying the touching so decided not to question it.   
  
  
“Willow?” she said after a moment, her eyes looking down for a moment before she glanced back up, “You can touch too. If you want.”   
  
  
Willow’s giggling stopped and her eyes widened before she gulped.   
  
  
“I can?”   
  
  
Tara took a quiet, deep breath and removed her hand from the redhead’s butt to take her girlfriend’s hand and place it on her breast, through her shirt before trailing her fingers back down the smaller girl’s side and re-cupping her ass.   
  
  
Willow could only stare at her own hand in amazement, her breath having become somewhat laboured until she brought her gaze up to meet Tara’s. Both of their eyes were glazed over as they stared at each other for a moment before their lips were crashing together hungrily, their hands squeezing the respective pieces of flesh beneath them.   
  
  
Willow groaned as she felt Tara’s nipple harden under her shirt, astounded by the feeling of touching the brunette and being touched in return; even with all of their clothes on, it was unlike anything she’d ever experienced before.   
  
  
“I love you,” she gasped between kisses as they rolled around on the small bed, both clumsily fondling each other as they basked in the new experience they were sharing.   
  
  
“Mmhh, love you too,” Tara gasped back, biting back a moan as she felt her nipple harden even further before suddenly getting embarrassed by her own body’s reaction and pulling away from the embrace completely.   
  
  
Willow stayed locked in her position; eyes closed, mouth half-open and her hand in a claw-like shape for a moment before she realised that there was no body on the other side of her affections and her eyes fluttered open. She saw Tara lying a foot away from her, as far away as she could be without falling off the bed, her face cast down but still obviously bright red.   
  
  
“Tara?” she asked softly, unsure of what was wrong, “Are you okay? Was I too rough?”   
  
  
Tara shook her head but still didn’t look up.   
  
  
“Um...if that was too much, we can hold off a while,” Willow tried again, wanting to reach a hand out to comfort her girlfriend but unsure of how that would’ve been received, “I didn’t mean to rush anything. Please talk to me, Tare-bear.”   
  
  
Tara looked up at the affectionate nickname and saw Willow giving her a small smile.   
  
  
“You didn’t rush,” she whispered quietly, “I liked it.”   
  
  
“Okay...” Willow replied, chancing putting her hand out and placing it on the brunette’s shoulder, “Then what’s wrong?”   
  
  
Tara just blushed harder and Willow saw that her girlfriend had gone into complete reclusive-shy mode over something and wasn’t going to tell her anytime soon.   
  
  
“It’s alright, baby,” she soothed, shuffling her body closer to the taller girl’s, “You’re clearly embarrassed about something. You didn’t do anything wrong if that’s what you’re worried about. I liked you touching me. I liked it a lot. What’s embarrassed you, honey?”   
  
  
Tara glanced downwards without meaning to but Willow saw and followed her eyeline, suddenly realising why the brunette had retreated so quickly.   
  
  
“Oh. You’re embarrassed because you liked it. Baby, don’t be shy about that, look...” Willow gently took Tara’s hand and placed it against her own breast, “See? I liked it too.”   
  
  
Tara gulped as she felt Willow’s breast beneath her hand and more specifically, the feel of her hardened nipple against her palm.   
  
  
“It’s natural, Tara,” Willow continued, her voice slightly throaty as she felt Tara touch her, “You arouse me, okay? And I’m not embarrassed to say that. I mean, I’m not gonna go up and tell every person in the street, but I’ll tell you no problem. You don’t need to get all blush-y about it, not around me. ‘Cause I’m feeling the same things as you. And I’m, um...I’m kinda proud that I can make you feel the same way you make me feel.”   
  
  
Tara felt her embarrassment start to flitter away, being replaced with an odd mixture of calmness in her heart and excitement in her lower stomach.   
  
  
“Sorry,” she said, finally smiling and making no effort to remove her hand, “Had a silly moment.”   
  
  
“Well that’s okay, I have a lot of those,” Willow smiled back, “You okay now?”   
  
  
“Yea,” Tara nodded, “Thanks to you. How do you always know just what to say to me? I mean, even...even at my worst...you make me feel special. How do you do that?"   
  
  
Willow tucked a piece of hair behind the brunette’s ear, a sweet smile never leaving her face.   
  
  
“Magic. And it’s easy, because you are special. The most special girl in the world. My girl.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Willow...Willow, sweetie, wake up.”   
  
  
Tara gently shook Willow’s shoulder stifled a laugh as she watched her girlfriend’s face contorted into a pout as her subconscious form struggled against waking up completely. Normally the brunette would’ve let the redhead sleep for as long as she wanted, especially since the loosened rules of being in the school during an official break meant they had the opportunity to sleep later, but they had plans for the day so she needed the smaller girl awake.   
  
  
When Willow had told her she was staying with her for the holidays, they had agreed that they weren’t going to celebrate any particular festivity since neither girl, nor the school, held any great religious conviction and were instead just going to enjoy each day of the break and do fun things together. There were only a few other students still in the school and just four teachers who alternated between day and night duty, but the girls only ever really saw anyone else during meals in the large dinging hall.   
  
  
The teachers were trying to make an effort to schedule fun things like movie nights and trips into the town for the students left behind for the holidays, but Willow and Tara were much happier to keep to themselves and do those things by themselves. Mostly because it meant they could interrupt their time with intermittent make-out sessions, kissing and gently touching.   
  
  
Tara was slightly amazed that they’d gone so long being together without anyone else finding out; sure they were careful during class hours and outside their room to not look suspect and knew the night time ‘checks’ schedule enough that they were always in their own beds whenever a teacher came around but they’d still been extremely lucky.   
  
  
_What are you thinking, Tara, don’t tempt fate! And anyway, you’re supposed to be waking Willow up._  
  
  
“Honey...wake up...”   
  
  
Tara sighed as the redhead still didn’t stir so opted to lean down and place a gentle kiss against her lips. She squealed in surprise when suddenly two arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her into a lying position on the bed, warm lips kissing her lovingly.   
  
  
“That’s what I was waiting for,” Willow giggled lazily, pulling back just an inch.   
  
  
Tara shook her head and rolled her eyes.   
  
  
“How long have you been awake?”   
  
  
“About five minutes. I woke up when you shook me. Then you just stared off into space for a while, but I knew you’d get to the kiss eventually. What were you thinking about anyway?”   
  
  
“You,” Tara answered honestly, before getting a small grin on her face, “If you’d just told me you were awake I would’ve given you a ‘good morning’ kiss and we could’ve been doing that for the last five minutes. But now you have to go have a shower and get dressed.”   
  
  
Tara jumped back up off the bed and Willow pouted.   
  
  
“No, that’s not fair.”   
  
  
“You’re the one who wanted to be a smartass,” Tara grinned, her back to the redhead, “You knew we had a time schedule today.”   
  
  
Willow’s pout deepened before she threw the covers off her body and stood behind her girlfriend, wrapping her arms around the brunette’s waist and placing gentle kisses against her neck.   
  
  
“Won’t be a smartass again,” she mumbled as she kissed, “Come lie down with me.”   
  
  
“Willow...” Tara sighed, though her neck instinctively tilted to give the redhead more room.   
  
  
Willow grinned in her ministrations, she’d discovered just in the past few days that kissing her girlfriend’s neck was a sure-fire way to get her to agree to anything, it made her melt completely. The smaller girl tightened her hold on the brunette and kissed just below Tara’s ear, a spot that had made her moan on many an occasion since Willow had discovered it, thinking the taller girl would melt into her and was so surprised when Tara pushed off her.   
  
  
“You can’t just kiss my neck any time you want something, Willow,” Tara said, trying to contain the flush she knew was rising on her cheeks, “It’s not fair.”   
  
  
“Don’t be getting all haughty on me, missy,” Willow replied, crossing her arms over her chest in indignation, “The only reason we’re even doing the thing we’re doing today is because you happened to discover that I like getting my neck licked, which by the way, thank you for discovering because I didn’t even know and well, I like it a lot, but anyway, [i]you[/u] used it to your full advantage!”   
  
  
Tara looked off to the side and shrugged her shoulders.   
  
  
“Okay, look,” she spoke up after a moment, “I promise an extra-long smooching session when we get back this afternoon.”   
  
  
Willow let her hands drop to her sides and grinned.   
  
  
“Will you lick my neck?”   
  
  
“If you’re lucky,” Tara grinned back, “Now go shower. We have to leave in an hour and we still have to grab breakfast.”   
  
  
Willow quickly scurried off, showering and getting ready for the day in a flash before gathering the things she needed in a small handbag and heading down to the dining hall to get breakfast.   
  
  
They both ate light, then started on the small trek to the bus stop just outside the school grounds, where they waited just a few minutes before the large vehicle pulled up and they boarded, arriving in the town after the short journey. Their hands clasped together as they walked towards their destination, until Willow started to slow slightly, hesitant.  
  
  
“Baby, I’m not so sure about this. I know I agreed, but it was under duress and I really don’t have any co-ordination of any kind. What if I fall on my ass? Like, a lot? And then I won’t be your cool, strong girlfriend, I’ll be the girl you had to carry home because she was filled with bruises.”   
  
  
Tara turned to face the redhead, taking both of her hands as they stopped outside the free ice-skating rink the town had set up just the week previous and smiled at her.   
  
  
“I’ll carry you home anytime,” she said sweetly, “But I won’t let you fall, okay? I’ll hold your hand the entire time.”   
  
  
“You’ve done this before?” Willow asked nervously, glancing out at the large circular rink.   
  
  
“Yea,” Tara nodded, biting her lip as she remembered the only real ice-skating she'd done was when a small lake near her house in Alabama had frozen over one winter, “Not in a few years, but it’s like riding a bike.”   
  
  
“I was never very good at that either,” Willow sighed, “Tara, I’m scared.”   
  
  
Tara’s eyes softened and she shifted closed to her girlfriend.   
  
  
“Well we won’t do it, then. Come on, we’ll have just as much fun going to the park or we could browse that market at the other end of the town. Okay?”   
  
  
Tara started to walk off but Willow quickly pulled her back.   
  
  
“You’ll hold my hand the whole time?”   
  
  
Tara got a wide smile on her face and she nodded.   
  
  
“I won’t let go for a second. Are you sure you wanna try? I wasn’t just saying it before, I have no problem giving it a miss if you’re at all uncomfortable.”   
  
  
“No, I wanna if you wanna,” Willow replied, remembering how Tara had gone on the rollercoaster for her at the carnival all those weeks ago for their birthdays, “But I’m really, really serious about you not letting go of my hand, okay? ‘Cause when I was learning to ride a bike my nanny promised she wouldn’t let go and she did and I fell and then I never learnt to ride properly ‘cause I was too scared and-”   
  
  
Tara cut the redhead off by putting a finger against her lips before speaking emphatically.   
  
  
“I will never let go.”   
  
  
Willow felt the words as well as heard them and nodded.   
  
  
“Okay, then. Let’s go.”   
  
  
Tara beamed and walked them over to the small booth, getting the two pairs of skates in their sizes before pulling Willow over to one of the benches set up around the rink and sitting down. She placed her own shoes under the bench and pulled on the skates, watching Willow to the same before standing and smiling when she found she was steady on her feet.   
  
  
“Okay, now give me your hands,” she said, turning to Willow and holding her palms out flat.   
  
  
Willow placed her hands in Tara’s and shakily stood up, blushing bright red when she instantly fell forwards into the brunette’s chest.   
  
  
“We’re not even on the ice and I’m already making an ass of myself,” she said self-deprecatingly, “What’s the point?”   
  
  
Tara moved one hand to Willow’s hip and held on tight as she started walking backwards towards the entrance to the rink.   
  
  
“Just follow me slowly, sweetie, okay?”   
  
  
Willow carefully and slowly put one foot in front of the other, concentrating so hard that she didn’t even notice that they’d made it onto the ice until Tara started speaking.   
  
  
“See, honey? You’re doing great!”   
  
  
Willow looked down and saw the ice beneath her feet, her head shooting up to smile at Tara.   
  
  
“I’m doing it!”   
  
  
“I know,” Tara giggled as she gently guided them around the rink, “My cool, strong girlfriend.”   
  
  
Willow blushed but couldn’t help a proud feeling when she suddenly felt something cold hit her nose. She looked up and started smiling excitedly when she saw there were snowflakes falling around them.   
  
  
“Baby, it’s snowing!”   
  
  
Tara looked up and smiled as well.   
  
  
“I know.”   
  
  
The couple slowly skated around the rink, Willow holding onto her girlfriend for dear life but enjoying the gentle movement and watching the other people around them skate and twirl on the ice until they decided they’d skated enough and Tara carefully walked them back to the bench.   
  
  
“That was a lot of fun,” Willow admitted as she pulled the skates off, “And I didn’t fall once!”   
  
  
“You’re a natural,” Tara replied, bumping her shoulder against the redhead’s as she slipped her flats back on, “The snow’s getting really heavy.”   
  
  
“Yep,” Willow grinned, pulling her handbag out from where she’d left it under the bench, rooting through it for a moment before producing her camera, “That means picture time!”   
  
  
Willow turned on the camera and snapped a shot before Tara had a chance to react and the brunette shook her head.   
  
  
“I don’t even wanna see that one. Delete it.”   
  
  
“No way,” Willow replied, viewing the picture, “Aww your eyes are closed, you look so cute!”   
  
  
Tara rolled her eyes playfully and grabbed both of their skates, bringing them back to the man behind the booth with the smaller girl on her heels as they walked back towards the centre of the town.   
  
  
“Thanks for skating with me, Will,” Tara said shyly as they walked, “I had so much fun. Plus holding you is always nice.”   
  
  
“My pleasure,” Willow replied with a warm smile, “And being held by you is always nice too.”   
  
  
The girls shared a smile for a moment, a thick blanket of snow beneath their feet as the white flakes fell around them, droplets of ice shimmering in their hair and down their clothes.   
  
  
“God, look at this,” Willow said as they arrived back in the main square of the town, the tall buildings and monuments covered in white, “Seeing this from a taxi really doesn’t do it justice.”   
  
  
The redhead started taking pictures of everything around her, encapsulated by her surroundings as she turned in a 360o spin until the screen of camera was filled with Tara and she quickly pressed the shutter, getting a candid shot of her girlfriend holding her hand out to try and catch a snowflake. She looked back on the image and smiled at it adoringly for a second before calling out.   
  
  
“Baby, c’mere. I want a shot of us in the snow.”   
  
  
Tara made her way over to where Willow was standing and smiled as the smaller girl held the camera out in front of them at a downward angle.   
  
  
“Okay now like we’re trying to catch snowflakes on our tongues!”   
  
  
Tara giggled at the request but complied, sticking her tongue out as Willow did the same and the picture was taken.   
  
  
“And now...I want a kiss.”   
  
  
Tara grinned and leant her head down, kissing her girlfriend softly. Willow took a sneaky pic of that as well as she responded gently to the kiss before they naturally pulled apart.   
  
  
“I think we need to head back to the school,” Tara said regrettably after a moment, “Our clothes are getting soaked, I don’t want you sick.”   
  
  
“Yea, that’s probably a good idea,” Willow replied, running a hand through her hair, “If the snow keeps going like this the buses will stop running too and it’d be a disaster if we were stranded out here.”   
  
  
Tara agreed with her girlfriend’s statement and they ran the few yards to the bus stop as they saw a bus approaching and didn’t want to have to wait the thirty minutes for the next one.   
  
  
They dried off considerably during the ride back to the school and arrived back in their room in pretty much the same condition as when they’d left. Willow kicked off her shoes and sat down on the edge of her bed, getting a cheeky grin on her face.   
  
  
“I believe you promised me an extra-long smooching session.”


	13. Chapter 13

“I did?” Tara asked, sauntering towards and standing in front of her girlfriend.  
  
  
“You did,” Willow grinned, her hands moving to the back of the brunette’s thighs, “And I wanna claim my time now.”  
  
  
“Well who am I to deny my beautiful girl anything?”   
  
  
Tara grinned as well, kicking off her shoes and pushing Willow back on the bed before flopping down beside her, both of them on her sides. The brunette ran her hand down Willow’s arm and smiled when she felt goosebumps appear under her touch before leaning forwards and capturing their lips.  
  
  
Willow sighed happily as Tara leisurely kissed her and she kissed back, the brunette’s hand moving from her arm, to her back and then eventually to her butt; a part of the redhead Tara apparently enjoyed touching very much since her hand almost always ended up there during their make out sessions.   
  
  
As soon as she felt the touch though, a thought crossed though her mind, one she’d been thinking quite a bit since they’d furthered their physical relationship to the point of touching. It had been plaguing her brain and she decided she needed to get it off her chest.  
  
  
“Tara?” she asked quietly, pulling away from the kiss, “Can I...can I ask you something?”  
  
  
“Sure,” Tara replied, her gaze automatically drawn to her girlfriend’s kiss-swollen lips, “Anything.”  
  
  
Willow stayed quiet as she processed her thoughts for a moment before she started speaking again.  
  
  
“You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want, I won’t be offended or whatever, I just...I’ve been wondering...how far you went with your other girlfriends? Not that it matters, I know you’re mine now, it’s just, you know...”  
  
  
“Willow, what are you talking about?” Tara asked in complete confusion, “What other girlfriends?”  
  
  
“Well girlfriend then,” Willow amended, “I wasn’t sure how many...”  
  
  
Tara stared at the redhead for a moment before blinking a few times.  
  
  
“Honey, I usually pride myself on the fact that I can follow your random segues and conversational jumps but I can honestly say at this moment I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  
  
  
Willow sighed, regretting having brought up the conversation at all but figured she had to go through with it now.  
  
  
“Tara I’m asking if you actually had sex with your other girlfriend. But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It’s none of my business really. I’m sorry I brought it up.”  
  
  
“Willow...” Tara said softly, moving her hand up to stroke the smaller girl’s hair, “You’re my only girlfriend.”  
  
  
“Well I know I’m your only girlfriend _now_. But I mean the one you had back in Alabama.”  
  
  
“No, Willow,” Tara tried again, “You’re my _only_ girlfriend. Ever. I thought you knew that.”  
  
  
“Oh,” Willow’s brow crumpled in confusion, “Were you...were you with a guy then?”  
  
  
Tara’s face grimaced at the thought for a moment before she shook her head into the pillow.  
  
  
“Willow, listen to me, there’s never been anyone but you. The night I had that nightmare was my first ever kiss. What on earth’s prompted all of this?”  
  
  
“I just...” Willow replied, taken aback slightly by this newly revealed information, “I’ve been kinda worried ‘cause I’m a virgin so I’m probably not gonna be that good at you know, stuff. And you said the reason your Dad sent you here was ‘cause he caught you in a compromising position. I thought that meant he caught you, you know, being intimate with someone.”  
  
  
Tara blushed bright red at the mention of the ‘compromising situation’ that had prompted her being sent to boarding school in the first place but tried to control it.  
  
  
“Well he didn’t. ‘Cause you’re my one and only. Ever.”  
  
  
“Oh,” Willow replied, before her smile beamed, “Oh. Good. Great. I meant what I said though, it wouldn’t have mattered ‘cause I know you’re my girl now, but um...wow. Yea. So, wait, what did your Dad catch you doing?”  
  
  
Tara internally groaned and closed her eyes, biting her lip for a moment before speaking in an embarrassed whisper.  
  
  
“He caught me looking at my brother’s Playboy.”  
  
  
“Oh,” Willow replied and Tara ducked her head at the tone, “I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing. Not that there’s anything wrong, to each their own, that’s what I say.”  
  
  
“I’m not into that kinda thing,” Tara replied, through gritted teeth, her eyes closed, “I was just curious. About my own body. And girl’s bodies in general. You grow up in small town Alabama and there’s not really many resources out there when you realise that firm pecs do nothing for you but boobs make your heart race.”  
  
  
Willow took her girlfriend's hand between them and gave it a squeeze.  
  
  
“Hey, Tara, it’s okay, I wasn’t judging. I, um...I took a sneaky peek at a pic or two online when I was figuring myself out as well.”  
  
  
“You did?” Tara asked, chancing opening her eyes, relief flooding her when she saw only a look of love on Willow’s face, no disgust that she’d been expecting, “Really?”  
  
  
“Yea. It's normal. Like looking at other girls in the locker room or something,” Willow replied with a shy smile, before giggling as she thought of something, “Wait, that means...that means that your Dad’s way of trying to turn you straight...was to send you to an all-girl’s boarding school?!”  
  
  
Tara burst out laughing and nodded her head.  
  
  
“Yea. Not the smartest move in the world.”  
  
  
“Not even a little,” Willow giggled before moving her head closer to the brunette’s and kissing her softly, “And, jeez, that’s a bit of an overreaction. Sending you away just for normal teenage curiosity?”  
  
  
“He didn’t really see it like that,” Tara answered with a blush, “I think he kinda suspected I was...different...and that was just the nail in the coffin.”  
  
  
“Oh,” Willow replied before shrugging, “Well it all worked out, really. We're together. Now c’mere.”  
  
  
Willow latched her lips onto the brunette’s and Tara relaxed into the kiss for a few moments before her mind started going into overdrive.  
  
  
 _She was worried...she was worried that she’s a virgin and she wouldn’t be good...I’m sure she’d be amazing but that’s...I’m not...And I don’t know the first thing about...not really..._  
  
  
“Willow?” she asked, but her voice was lost in the kiss so she pulled back, “Willow...”  
  
  
“Mmhh, Tara,” Willow replied, going back in for another kiss, “Mmhh...”   
  
  
“No, Willow...” Tara responded, pulling back and holding the redhead’s shoulder away from her, “Sweetie...”  
  
  
Willow opened her eyes and frowned.  
  
  
“What’s wrong?”  
  
  
“Will, honey, I’m not...” Tara stopped for a moment, looking down, “I’m not ready to...”  
  
  
Willow continued to frown for a moment before she realised what her girlfriend meant and rushed to reassure.  
  
  
“Oh baby, that’s completely fine. I didn’t say that stuff before because I was trying to start something...it was just because I've been feeling kinda insecure. There’s no pressure from me, okay? Not even a little. None.”  
  
  
“It doesn’t mean I don’t love you,” Tara said quickly, “I do, so much, I just-”  
  
  
Willow put a finger against the brunette’s lips and smiled.  
  
  
“Tara, when we’re both ready and the time is right...we’ll know, okay? I’d wait forever for you.”  
  
  
“Okay,” Tara nodded with a small smile, relieved and reassured, “And it won’t be forever. And um...you’re definitely the one I want it to be with. The only one.”  
  
  
 _Even if I completely mess it up because I have the faintest clue what to do...I still want it to be with her. Before I have to leave her forever._  
  
  
Tara felt a lump come to her throat at the thought but didn't let it show and Willow just grinned at the brunette's words, before their lips met again, slowly and softly but quickly building in intensity before Tara pulled away again, feeling her body respond to their kisses.  
  
  
“Willow...”  
  
  
“Baby, no pressure,” Willow said quickly, her breathing heavy, “Just kissing.”  
  
  
“No, I know,” Tara said with a small giggle before a light blush rose on her cheeks, “I just wanted to say that just because I’m not ready to actually... It, um...it doesn’t mean we can’t do...stuff.”  
  
  
Willow’s brow crinkled in confusion.  
  
  
“Stuff like what? We can still touch, right?”  
  
  
Tara’s blush deepened but she moved so that she was straddling the redhead and took a deep breath before cautiously and shyly unbuttoning her shirt, slipping it over her shoulders and dropping it on the floor. Willow audibly gasped and Tara took that as a good sign, getting a sudden surge of confidence as she reached behind herself and snapped her bra off, letting it land with her shirt on the floor.  
  
  
Willow’s mouth hung open and her eyes were wide as she watched Tara reveal a new part of herself, blown away by the trust her girlfriend was giving her but more astounded at that very moment by the two full, luscious breasts hanging above her, dark nipples already pointing out at attention.  
  
  
When Willow just continued to gape at her, Tara started to think that maybe it hadn’t been a good gasp that had come from her girlfriend’s mouth and self-consciously started to reach down for her shirt but the redhead grabbed her wrist before she could reach it.  
  
  
“Please don’t,” Willow whispered in awe, her gaze never leaving the taller girl’s chest, “You’re just...you’re so beautiful.”  
  
  
Willow snapped her eyes up to meet Tara’s and quickly sat up so their faces were just inches apart.  
  
  
“I love you.”  
  
  
She captured the brunette’s lips before Tara had a chance to react, letting the tension between them evaporate slowly as their lips moved before pulling back and putting her girlfriend’s hand at the hem of her own shirt.  
  
  
Tara’s eyes widened as she understood the gesture and shakily began lifting Willow’s t-shirt over her head until the redhead put a hand on hers and stopped her.  
  
  
“I’m not stopping you,” she said quietly when she saw Tara’s face fall, “I um...I’m just not...very well-endowed. Just so you know.”  
  
  
Willow knew Tara had already felt her breast through her shirt countless times in the couple of weeks they'd been shyly touching so probably had a good idea of her size, but still felt nervous about what she perceived an area she was lacking in.  
  
  
“Willow...” Tara replied, surprised that her normally quite-confident girlfriend had any issue with herself and quickly pulled the rest of her t-shirt off. She took a moment to just look, captivated by the redhead’s beauty before bringing her hand up and gently cupping her bra-clad breast, speaking in a quiet tone, “Look at that. You fit perfectly in my hand.”  
  
  
Willow looked down and smiled when she saw her girlfriend was right, then bit back a moan as Tara’s thumb brushed across her nipples, but couldn’t help arching her back into the touch.  
  
  
“You can...you can take it off.”  
  
  
Tara’s breath hitched again and she looked up into the smaller girl’s eyes for reassurance, which she got in abundance. She reached behind Willow, keeping their gazes locked and tried to unhook her bra, blushing profusely when she managed to just fumble.   
  
  
The redhead just gave her an encouraging smile and Tara reached her other hand around, loosening the fabric easily. Willow let it fall off of her and watched as Tara stared at her naked chest, just as enthralled as the redhead had been earlier.  
  
  
“Can I touch?” Tara asked, aware that she’d already felt her girlfriend’s breast, but not completely unclothed.  
  
  
“Yea,” Willow answered softly, “Can I?”  
  
  
Tara looked up at the smaller girl and nodded quietly.  
  
  
Both sets of hands started moving towards each other’s chests, shyly exploring one another with gentle squeezes and soft caresses until Willow started giggling in a release of nerves, Tara following soon after as they fell back alongside side each other on the bed.  
  
  
“I like ‘stuff’,” Willow whispered with a grin before glancing down and giggling again, “I can see your boobs.”  
  
  
Tara blushed despite herself before shuffling their bodies closer together and running her hand down Willow’s naked back as she caught the redhead in a heated kiss. Their chests thrust into each other as the kiss deepened and the redhead moaned at the feeling of their breasts rubbing against one another until the she brought a hand between their bodies and started greedily palming Tara’s breast, still amazed at the soft feel beneath her touch.  
  
  
“I love you,” Tara said easily when they pulled away for air, blushing when an errant moan escaped her lips as Willow toyed with her nipple, “Sorry.”  
  
  
“Sorry?” Willow asked in confusion of the apology, stilling her hand but not removing it, “Do you want me to stop?”  
  
  
“No,” Tara admitted, her cheeks flushing some more, as her voice lowered to a whisper, “I just kind of moaned...really loudly.”  
  
  
A small grin played on the redhead’s lips as she pinched the brunette’s nipple between her fingers again; making Tara jolt, her eyes fluttering in pleasure as another moan left her lips.  
  
  
“Hmm...I think I kinda like that sound,” Willow said, her grin getting wider as she repeated the motion and brought her other hand up to do the same to the taller girl’s other breast, “You like that, right? It feels good?”  
  
  
Tara couldn’t help the string of moans that left her mouth as the redhead toyed with both of her nipples and her chest thrust forward of its own accord.  
  
  
“Feels...good,” she managed in answer as white-hot jolts of desire and pleasure coursed through her, “Really good.”  
  
  
Willow beamed and shivered in delight as she felt the buds in her hand harden beneath her touch. Tara felt the shiver through her girlfriend’s fingers and forced her eyes to open fully, biting her lip as she timidly reached her hand forwards as well and lightly took one of Willow’s nipples between her fingers.  
  
  
“Holy...” Willow groaned, loudly, “Mmhh, god yea, mmhh, baby, so good...pinch me harder...”  
  
  
Tara felt herself go red at the request but dutifully tightened her hold on the ever-hardening peaks, making Willow throw her head backwards.  
  
  
“How does that feel so good?” Willow panted in disbelief. She’d explored her own body before but had never felt any great pleasure from playing with her own breasts. Tara doing it however...that was better than anything she’d ever felt.  
  
  
Tara felt herself grinning at the reaction her girlfriend was having to her touch and was very glad that she’d gotten the sudden confidence burst earlier that had lead to this form of touching. Part of her desperately wanted to continue to explore everything they were both feeling and to give over to sensation, but she knew she wasn’t ready to make love yet.   
  
  
_Not until I can stop being a coward. Until I can tell her everything. I can’t make love to her...with her...not with the lies...it’s not fair...When am I ever going to be able to tell her though? I can’t tell her. I can’t make love with her. Maybe it’s better that way. If we don’t share that, it’ll be easier for her when I go. I want it to be with her so badly...but it's just not fair._  
  
  
Tara’s grin faltered completely as her thoughts yet again overtook her. But she’d become quite adept at trying to ignore the bad thoughts over the months and so took it upon herself to force the smile back on her face before Willow noticed and made her mind focus on the good.  
  
  
 _Come on, Tara. You’re lying with the most beautiful girl on the planet and sharing something with her neither of you have shared with anyone before. What have you got to frown about?_  
  
  
She couldn't help it when her mind answered her own question.  
  
  
 _My gutless self._


	14. Chapter 14

“Hey, Tare, where are you thinking of going to college?”  
  
  
Tara’s head shot up from her laptop at the unexpected question and she looked at her girlfriend, sitting across from her on her own bed, laptop in front of her as well.  
  
  
“What?”  
  
  
“College,” Willow repeated, “I’m just getting all my applications ready, kinda late I know, but I guess I just forgot, I was so caught up in us and everything. But there’s no point in me applying somewhere that’s not nearby you. Where did you apply to?”  
  
  
Tara was stunned into silence.  
  
  
 _College? There’s no way Daddy will ever let me go to college. No way, I’ll spend forever looking after him and that house._  
  
  
She shuddered as her father’s voice started booming through her mind, the mantra she’d hear every evening as her father’s fists worked to convince her of her worthlessness.  
  
  
 _‘You’re lucky I even let you live in my home, Tara. The least you can do is keep it in check. I pay for your food and put a roof over your head, more than you deserve. No man will ever want you, nobody will ever love you, especially when you can’t even keep this home. You’re not even worthy of what I give you here. You can spend your life repaying that debt.’_  
  
  
She closed her eyes and pushed the memories out of her head.  
  
  
 _He only sent me here to ‘put some order in my life’ before I finished school. Probably thought spending time with some ‘normal’ girls would make me normal as well. Talking about boys. He’d probably have a coronary if he knew I was spending my time kissing a girl. Look how he reacted when he knew I was just thinking about it._  
  
  
She reopened her eyes with a sigh and saw Willow was looking at her expectantly, waiting for an answer.  
  
  
 _God, Willow...she’s...she’s willing to go wherever I go so we can be together. Oh sweetheart, I’d be with you forever if I could. I can’t let her throw her life away for me. But I can’t tell her about having to stay at home when I leave here... She’ll hate me. For leading her on. For being so weak._  
  
  
“I’m probably gonna stick close to home,” she managed eventually, trying to clear her conscience by thinking it wasn’t really a lie, “But um, you should apply everywhere. That way I can say ‘my girlfriend got into Harvard’. ‘Cause I know you will.”  
  
  
Tara held her breath as she hoped Willow would take her jokey suggestion seriously without being too suspicious and exhaled slowly when the redhead just smiled and shrugged.  
  
  
“Okay. Just for you. I’m thinking of taking a gap year, though. I have no idea what I want to do really. I mean maybe something in computers but that’s really just a hobby, I don’t know if I want to make a career out of it. I could get a job at Starbucks or something and try and figure myself out. They have Starbucks in Alabama, right?”  
  
  
“Yea,” Tara nodded weakly, “They have Starbucks.”  
  
  
Willow seemed happy at that and continued typing away at her laptop as Tara struggled to hold in her tears.  
  
  
 _What are you doing, Tara? I’ve been so caught up in how I’ll feel when I have to go back to...him...what about her? She loves me. I know she does. For whatever reason, she loves me just as much as I love her. She wants to be with me. She’s planning her life around us. I have no choice, I have to go back home when I leave here. He’ll make me. And I can’t tell her about him...even if she doesn’t hate me, what if he hurts her too? I can’t let that happen. Oh god, what do I do?_  
  
  
“Love you, baby.”  
  
  
Tara was pulled from her thoughts as Willow spoke the sentiment across the room, not looking up from her laptop. She’d just felt the words and spoken them, it was as natural as breathing to her.  
  
  
“I love you too,” Tara got out, thanking every deity known to man that her voice didn’t shake.  
  
  
 _Oh Willow, I do. I adore you. But I’m not strong enough to handle it if I tell you the truth and you hate me. Or if my father found out and he caused you any pain...either way, I’m going to hurt her. My father was right, no one should ever love me, I just cause anguish. Please forgive me for whatever happens in the future, Willow. We have six months left together. I’ll try and make them as good as possible. For you. For us._  
  
  
Tara watched as Willow happily typed away, oblivious to the fact that she was being stared at, wanting, not for the first time, to just tell Willow everything about her abusive past and what she was sure would be an abusive future and just hope that her girlfriend would make it all better.  
  
  
But she couldn’t. She didn’t know whether it was her self-worth issues or the fear of the power her father still had over her, but she couldn’t open up. She’d never had anyone to open up to. Her mother had been her only confidant, but the abuse had only started once she’d died, so she was left to deal with that loss and her mistreatment by her father and brother by herself.   
  
  
Even if she thought she could get past the dread of Willow not reacting well or the possibility of her father causing her girlfriend pain...the concept of opening up completely to someone - even someone she knew she loved with all her heart - was so foreign to her that she wasn’t even sure she knew how.  
  
  
She sighed as she set her thoughts in her mind.  
  
  
 _She’ll be fine when I leave. She’ll get over me. The pathetic, spineless person I am, I’m not worthy of her tears, never mind her love. She could have anyone. She’ll find someone who actually deserves her and treats her right. Doesn’t lie to her or keep secrets. And maybe if I’m lucky she’ll remember me as someone who loved her more than anything and not the girl who just left one day..._  
  
  
“Okay. Done,” Willow said, again pulling the brunette from her thoughts as she closed her laptop, “Or at least done for now. I’ll get one of the teachers to look over them before I officially send.”  
  
  
“Good idea,” Tara forced a smile, blinking away the few tears that had formed in her eyes as she pretended to focus on the fuzzy screen in front of her.  
  
  
There was a silence in the room for the next few moments until Willow piped up again.  
  
  
“Hey, are you doing something important on there?”  
  
  
Tara looked up from her screen and shook her head.   
  
  
“No. Just messing around.”  
  
  
Willow nodded before biting her lip and exhaling, as if she contemplating something.  
  
  
“Wanna make out?”  
  
  
Tara almost laughed at the bluntness but secretly welcomed the opportunity for distraction from her morose thoughts about the future. Before Willow had a chance to realise what was happening, the brunette had stood up and flung herself on top of her, latching their lips together.  
  
  
“Is that a yes?” Willow asked, running her hands down the brunette’s shoulders.  
  
  
“Uh huh,” Tara agreed, sucking the smaller girl’s bottom lip into her mouth.  
  
  
“Mmhh, yea,” Willow sighed happily as her lips were attacked with peppered kisses, “Make the most of our last day of no classes.”  
  
  
It _was_ the last day of winter break and students had already started to return. The girls had heard the commotion in the halls but opted to leave their fellow peers to their reunions.   
  
  
But Tara wasn’t thinking about that, she was only thinking about Willow’s plump lips and she pulled back, fixing her girlfriend with an exasperated look.  
  
  
“Willow, stop talking.”  
  
  
The taller girl didn’t give Willow a chance to respond as she quickly covered her mouth with her own again and slipped her tongue past her teeth. The redhead moaned and bunched the brunette’s shirt in her hands for a moment before deciding it was too much of a constraint and began fumbling with the buttons.  
  
  
Tara shrugged the material off her shoulders when she felt the last buttoned being loosened and then flipped them so she could pull Willow’s t-shirt off as well, moaning as the skin of their stomachs caressed each other. She tangled one hand in her girlfriend’s hair, while the other went to cup her jean-clad ass as they kissed passionately, the redhead’s hands roaming Tara’s sides.  
  
  
Both girls were so lost in each other they didn’t hear their door bang nor did they notice that there was someone else in the room until the loud voice of one of their teachers rang throughout the dorm.  
  
  
“Hi girls, just checking to see who’s back and – oh my god!”  
  
  
Willow pulled away from the brunette with an audible pop, her face turning into one of horror when she saw the teacher standing there in shock, her eyes wide. She gulped and looked at Tara, who looked terrified, before looking back at the teacher.  
  
  
“This isn’t what it looks like.”  
  
  
***  
  
  
Willow angrily threw the last of her clothes in her suitcase and zipped it up, before picking up the pillow Tara had made her for her birthday and holding it close to her chest, sighing. She then heard the room door bang and spun in place, running over when she saw it was Tara who had walked in and throwing her arms around her.  
  
  
“Oh god, baby, are you okay? What happened? What did the headmistress say?”  
  
  
Tara wrapped her arms tightly around the redhead and enjoyed the closeness for a moment. After the teacher had caught them in their heated embrace, they’d been given all of a minute to pull shirts back over their head before they’d been marched down to the principal’s office where they’d been separated and brought in individually, both getting an earful from the headmistress.  
  
  
“I have to move downstairs to a room on my own. Twenty minutes to pack and get down there,” Tara said eventually, not loosening her hold, “She said if she ever caught us in a lewd act on school grounds again, it’d be grounds for expulsion.”  
  
  
Willow pulled back and nodded her head.  
  
  
“We got the same spiel.”  
  
  
“It’s not lewd,” Tara said irritably, “We love each other.”  
  
  
“Well I know that and you know that,” Willow replied with a sigh, “Who cares what the damn school administration think?”  
  
  
Tara walked over and sank down on her bed.  
  
  
“She called my Dad.”  
  
  
“Yea, she called my parents, too,” Willow responded with a bitter sigh, “Just got their secretary’s though. Both of them. Was your Dad mad?”  
  
  
 _Mad doesn’t even begin to describe it._  
  
  
“He just said he’d deal with me when he saw me,” Tara answered, leaving out the part where her father had said if he heard of one more dealing with ‘whichever Jezebel had corrupted her’ she’d pay the price dearly.  
  
  
He hadn’t needed to elaborate. Tara understood.  
  
  
“Well, he’s not gonna see you until school finishes,” Willow replied, trying to look on the bright side, “He has six months to calm down and get used to the idea.”  
  
  
 _Oh Willow if only it was that simple. But she’s right. We still have six months. I don’t care what he does to me, I’m not gonna stop being with her until I absolutely have to. But how are we gonna...?_  
  
  
“Willow, ho-” Tara tried to speak but suddenly burst into tears.  
  
  
“Oh baby, don’t cry,” Willow said, quickly rushing over to her girlfriend’s side and pulling her head to her chest, “Shush, it’s okay. This doesn’t change anything. Well, it changes some things, but it doesn’t at all change my feelings for you. We’re just gonna have to be more careful is all. And crafty. Careful and crafty.”  
  
  
Tara continued to sob quietly, overwhelmed by emotion.  
  
  
“But, Willow, how...”  
  
  
Willow held onto the brunette tightly and calmly kissed her temple.  
  
  
“Don’t you worry about a thing, angel. ‘Cause I’m gonna come up with a plan, okay? I’m gonna come up with a plan.”  
  
  
***  
  
  
Willow walked through the doors of the dining hall, seeing pretty much every other member of the school already sitting around the tables, eating their breakfast. She hadn’t slept at all the night before, the quietness of being in the room by herself and the fact that she didn’t get a goodnight kiss, a ritual she’d become quite accustomed to, preventing her from getting any decent slumber.  
  
  
She spotted Tara already sitting at a table by herself up ahead and took a deep breath. She really didn’t want to do this. She’d give all the money she owned to not have to do this. But she knew she had to. She had no choice, right? It had to be done. It was the only way to move forward.  
  
  
She walked forwards and loudly slammed her hands against the table that Tara was sitting at, attracting stares from the rest of the dining hall. Willow could see everyone whispering – the rumour mill had been running full-speed since the night previous, everyone putting two and two together when they’d seen them being marched to the headmistresses office and then being placed in separate rooms - but she had to ignore them. She had to get through this quickly or she wouldn’t be able to do it at all.  
  
  
“Listen up, Tara because I’m only gonna say this once. I’m done, okay? No more. No more drama, no more sneaking, no more us. I can’t handle it. I can’t do it. So just stay away from me. Stay out of my life.”  
  
  
Willow started to struggle with her words as she saw pain and hurt flash through Tara’s eyes but forced herself to continue, putting her hands up as she started backing away, shouting loudly.  
  
  
“We’re through!”


	15. Chapter 15

Tara shot up in bed when she heard a knocking on her window and ran over, pushing the large panes of glass upwards. Willow scrambled in as quickly as she could and their lips were on each other instantly, deeply.  
  
  
“Oh god, baby, I missed you,” Willow’s words rushed from her mouth between kisses, “I missed you so much.”  
  
  
They walked, locked at the mouth, backwards, until the back of Tara’s knees connected with the bed and they fell back onto it. Willow pulled away and placed a quick, gentle kiss against the brunette’s lips before grabbing the small travel clock on her nightstand and twisting the hand that was meant for the alarm around.  
  
  
“55 minutes until I need to be back in my room for checks. I set it for five minutes before that.”  
  
  
Tara nodded in understanding before ducking her head slightly.  
  
  
“You were...really believable earlier.”  
  
  
“God...” Willow said, shuddering at the memory of her public ‘breaking up’ broadcast earlier that day, “Even though I knew it was fake and I knew you knew it was fake, it was so hard saying those things to you. It felt so wrong. They actually felt like acid in my mouth.”  
  
  
“Wasn’t too much fun hearing them either,” Tara replied, remembering how she’d felt as if it _were_ real, that Willow really was saying those things to her and how hurt she’d felt, “Or getting all the stares after you left.”  
  
  
“I’m sorry,” Willow responded, placing a kiss against the brunette’s temple, “But hey, it worked. The plan worked. The whole school, staff included think we’re broken up so they’ll think that’s the end of it and not probe anything.”  
  
  
Tara nodded with a small smile. They’d been dragged down to their new separate rooms – on the same ground floor but at opposite ends – before they’d had a chance to think of some way that they could still be together without facing harsher consequences.   
  
  
Luckily, both had logged onto facebook when they’d unpacked in their new rooms and were so able to converse without anyone else finding out, since the faculty had no reason to suspect either girl had internet access.   
  
  
They’d been able to think up the fake break-up plan there and had figured out that they could see each other at night time, if Willow left her room through the window, ran the short distance along the outside of the school to Tara’s room – which was easy to determine which one it was since it was the very last window – and then sneak back the same way within the hour. All they had to do was keep away from each other in the halls and no one would think they had anything to do with each other anymore.  
  
  
“Oh, oh and baby!” Willow said excitedly, her face lighting up, “I was walking around the school earlier ‘cause I had nothing else to do since we couldn’t hang out together and did you know there was a forest behind the hockey pitch?”  
  
  
Tara didn’t see how the start of her girlfriend’s sentence connected with the last part of it but was quite used to her random topics.  
  
  
“Um, no,” she replied, shaking her head, “I didn’t know that.”  
  
  
“Baby, a forest!” Willow said when she didn’t get the response she was aiming for, “A secluded, deserted forest that I didn’t know about and you didn’t know about so it’s pretty fair to say that not many other people know about it...”  
  
  
Tara continued to look bewildered for a second before comprehension dawned and her face lit up.  
  
  
“We can meet up there after classes? So we can see each other for more than an hour at night?”  
  
  
“Yep,” Willow nodded excitedly, “I’ll draw you a map of how to get to the forest and there’s this huge, like huge oak tree right in the middle. You can’t miss it. That can be like our meeting place.”  
  
  
Tara felt a huge grin break out on her face and swooped her head up to kiss her girlfriend.  
  
  
“Willow, you’re a genius. I love you.”  
  
  
“Love you too,” Willow replied between gentle kisses, “Always.”  
  
  
They continued to softly kiss, never getting too heated, just exchanging tender expressions of love in the wake of the test their relationship had been put under until the quiet ringing of the clock disturbed them. Willow quickly turned it off so the noise wouldn’t draw attention to the room and sighed.  
  
  
“Yea, an hour at night definitely isn’t enough time with you. Check your facebook in the morning, I’ll post the directions to the forest on your page. You really just hang a left and keep walking after the hockey field. Anyway, I better go.”  
  
  
Willow jumped off of the bed and walked back over to the window, Tara following her and pulling her into a quick kiss.  
  
  
“You put a book under your window so it wouldn’t close, right?” she asked as Willow started to climb out.  
  
  
“Of course,” Willow smiled, now standing outside the room, “Let’s just be thankful the single rooms are all on the ground floor. Although I would’ve trailed the trellises if I had to. Anything to be with you.”  
  
  
Tara smiled and leant through the windowpane for a final kiss.  
  
  
“Go back to your room. It’s cold out there.”  
  
  
“Don’t worry, baby, I’m wearing socks,” Willow giggled before giving a wave, “Love you. Forest, tomorrow, after class.”  
  
  
Tara nodded and waved back.  
  
  
“I’ll be there.”  
  
  
Tara hung her head out the window and watched as Willow ran the short, straight distance to the other end of the floor and saw her climb in her window. She quickly pushed her window down until it was closed and then lay back down on her own bed, looking around the small room. She’d gotten used to hearing the gentle snores of her girlfriend, they almost acted as a lullaby for her, soothing her into a peaceful sleep.  
  
  
 _Suppose I’ll just have to get used to the quiet again..._   
  
  
She turned on her side and pulled the covers over her body before feeling around the bed until her hand fell on the familiar feel of the heart-shaped soft toy that Willow had won her on their birthdays. She brought it up to her nose and inhaled it’s scent, smiling when she recognised the aroma of the perfume her girlfriend wore; Tara having sprayed the fragrance on the toy soon after she’d gotten it so it always smelled like Willow.   
  
  
Cuddling the toy against her chest comforted her and she felt herself start to drift off just before her door opened quietly. She saw the light of a flashlight behind her closed eyelids and kept them closed as the light was turned off and her door closed again, a small grin playing on Tara’s lips.  
  
  
Their plan had worked perfectly the first night. And it could only get easier from then on, right?  
  
  
***  
  
  
Willow anxiously checked her watch for the tenth time in the past minute and tapped her foot impatiently. Class had let out over half an hour ago - more than enough time for either of them to deposit their laptops back in their rooms and slip out of their uniforms and into regular clothes - and Tara still hadn’t showed up at the oak tree.   
  
  
She knew her girlfriend hadn’t been kept back in class because they’d both had history together for their last period and she had watched the brunette leave before her as she was still gathering her things. She was just contemplating forgoing their plan and going on a search for her when she felt familiar strong arms wrap around her waist from behind.  
  
  
“Tara...” she whispered quietly, leaning back into the embrace.  
  
  
“Your one and only,” Tara whispered back, “Hi.”  
  
  
“Hi.”  
  
  
They stayed in that position for a few long moments, enjoying being near one another until Willow turned and put her hands on her hips.  
  
  
“You’re late.”  
  
  
“Sorry,” Tara replied, genuinely apologetic, “I wanted to recheck your directions before I came out here. I always just thought this was a line of trees, I didn’t realise it reached inwards.”  
  
  
“Well lucky for us, it does,” Willow grinned, hooking her thumbs into the belt loop of the brunette’s jeans as she waggled her eyebrows, “Wanna roll around in the bushes?”  
  
  
Tara laughed and looked around them, eyeing the fallen leaves and discarded pieces of bark that littered the ground before scrunching up her nose.  
  
  
“It doesn’t look very comfortable.”  
  
  
Willow looked around them as well and frowned.  
  
  
“Yea...Oh wait, there’s a green area, I saw it yesterday,” Willow said, pointing behind them and to the left, “It’s um...I think it’s that way...?”  
  
  
“Up here?” Tara asked, taking the redhead’s hand and walking them in the direction pointed out.  
  
  
Willow nodded and surveyed their surroundings.  
  
  
“Yea, it wasn’t too far...it was like behind these two – oh here, through here, baby.”  
  
  
She pulled them through a wedge between two bushes to an a small-sized area of grass, unkempt but short, surrounded either side by a variety of different trees and plant life all around as the forest stretched even further out behind the grass.  
  
  
“All we need is an apple tree and we have our very own Eden,” Tara quipped, looking around.   
  
  
The untidy, probably because they were unknown, gardens were hardly picturesque perfection but it was private and that made it paradise in Tara’s book.  
  
  
“You can be my forbidden fruit,” Willow replied, grinning at her girlfriend, “Do I get a nibble?”  
  
  
Tara blushed and the redhead bumped her hip playfully before dropping to her knees and patting the grass. Once satisfied it was free of any wetness or dirt, she stretched out, resting her arms behind her head. Tara followed her lead and lay down beside her.  
  
  
“My parents finally called back,” Willow spoke up after a moment.  
  
  
Tara turned her head towards the smaller girl.  
  
  
“What did they say?”  
  
  
Willow got a cynical look on her face.  
  
  
““Mom said it was normal to experiment at our age and it seemed like a waste of time to tell her I wasn’t experimenting, I was in love. Oh and she said that teenagers engaging in sexual acts was standard common practice and was pissed that the headmistress wasted her time to call and tell her,” she responded before turning to Tara, her smile lessening in its bitterness and turning into amusement, “But my Dad wasn’t surprised at all that I was caught with another girl. He said he assumed I knew that he knew I was gay and that we didn’t just talk about it. I apparently ooze gayness.”  
  
  
Tara giggled softly.  
  
  
“Well that’s a pretty good reaction overall, right. I mean, no...no anger or anything.”  
  
  
“Yea,” Willow nodded, before leaning over for a gentle kiss, “Sorry yours was a bit more suck-y.”  
  
  
Tara just shook her head, not wanting to think about her father and they lapsed into a comfortable silence until the brunette spoke up again.  
  
  
“You own my heart, you know that right?”  
  
  
Willow’s eyebrow raised and she smiled.  
  
  
“Where did that come from?”  
  
  
“Everything almost fell apart when we got caught,” Tara replied softly, “And you made it all better. You always make it all better. So I just wanted you to know that no matter what, I’ll always belong to you.”  
  
  
 _I’m not going to be able to physically be with you soon, but I’ll always and forever be completely yours._  
  
  
“Well I’ll always belong to you too, baby,” Willow replied, her heart warmed, “I’m gonna marry you someday, you know that?”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes widened and Willow’s mouth formed a surprised ‘o’ shape as she realised what she’d said.  
  
  
“I, um...I only meant to think that,” Willow spoke again after a moment, before clearing her throat, “But I meant it. I know you’re my forever. I don’t care how young we are, when you meet your soulmate...you just know.”  
  
  
Tara didn’t know what to say.   
  
  
She felt the same.   
  
  
She felt the exact same.   
  
  
Often times, when she’d been lying in bed about to drift off she’d have images flash before her of a future where she was actually happy, a future with Willow. She saw them travel together, grow old together, have children together and, as the redhead had suggested, get married.   
  
  
She hated that she knew they were just fantasies that could never come to fruition. But she clung to them. Because she knew that when she was forced back to live with her father and brother, they’d be all she’d have.  
  
  
“I’d love to marry you someday,” Tara eventually responded, again trying to ease her guilt over the things she was keeping from her girlfriend by ‘lessening the lie’.   
  
  
She really would love to marry the redhead someday. She just knew she’d never be able.  
  
  
Willow beamed at the response though and entwined their hands between them as they both looked up at the sky.  
  
  
“Wanna cloud-spot?” Tara asked after a moment, needing to fill the silence so she could sidetrack the thoughts going through her head.  
  
  
“Okay,” Willow agreed happily, “Um...that one there...it kinda looks like...it looks like...a cloud. I’m not every good at this.”  
  
  
Tara moved her body so she was cuddling into the redhead’s side and Willow wrapped an arm around her shoulders.  
  
  
“We can just talk.”  
  
  
“Cool,” Willow nodded, stroking the brunette’s shoulder, “Oh I heard a joke last night online! Wanna hear?”  
  
  
“Sure,” Tara replied, resting her arm over the smaller girl’s waist, “Shoot.”  
  
  
“Okay, so a man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning, right? The wife said, ‘You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee’. But the husband said, ‘You’re in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.’ But the wife’s having none of that and replies ‘No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should make the coffee.’ The husband is like no way and he replies, ‘I can't believe that, show me.’ So the wife goes and gets the bible and she opens up the New Testament and shows him that it says on the top of loads of pages: ‘HEBREWS’. Get it? He-brews. Hebrews! Just a little Jew humour.”  
  
  
Tara snorted and buried her head into her girlfriend’s side.  
  
  
“Willow, that was terrible.”  
  
  
“Oh yea, well...” Willow retorted indignantly, “Well then tell me a better one.”  
  
  
“Okay...” Tara raised her head with a smile, “Um...Knock, Knock.”  
  
  
“Who's there?” Willow asked diligently.  
  
  
“Atch!”  
  
  
Willow’s brow crumpled in confusion but she continued to play along.  
  
  
“Atch who?”  
  
  
Tara grinned before delivering the punchline.  
  
  
“I'm sorry, I didn't know you had a cold!”  
  
  
Willow let a small snigger before rolling her eyes.  
  
  
“That was worse than mine. At least my joke had substance and plot.”  
  
  
“Yea, well mine’s a classic,” Tara countered, “You can’t beat a good Knock, Knock joke.”  
  
  
“When you’re 5!”  
  
  
Tara hit her girlfriend playfully on the arm before smiling down at her.  
  
  
“I could spend every second of every day looking into your eyes.”  
  
  
Willow grinned.  
  
  
“Your vision would get blurry.”  
  
  
“Willow-blurry,” Tara replied, dotting her fingers on her girlfriend’s stomach, through her t-shirt, “And that’s the best kind of blurry.”  
  
  
Willow yanked the brunette’s shirt so that Tara fell on top of her and they both giggled.  
  
  
“I can’t imagine not being with you,” Willow said after a moment, “It’s so...just so strange that there was a time when you weren’t part of me. That we weren’t in love.”  
  
  
Tara leant her head down so the smaller girl wouldn’t notice the look on despair on her face.  
  
  
“I know, Willow,” she whispered a second later, trying not to let the lump in her throat affect her voice, “Us not being together isn’t something that even seems possible.”  
  
  
 _Even though it’s those thoughts that haunt me every day._


	16. Chapter 16

Weeks passed.   
  
  
The girl’s stealthy plan continued to work; they’d meet in the forest after class each day to just be with each other and Willow snuck into Tara’s room at night so they could kiss and cuddle for an hour before they each went to sleep. They sat at opposite ends of the classroom while in class and avoided each other in the hallways so no one suspected that their ‘break-up’ was anything other than real. The only thing the girls missed was their weekly trip to the town, but they made up for it by being with each other in the hidden school grounds.  
  
  
Tara loved each and every day she got to spend with her girlfriend but as January became February and February became March, and now it was only a few days away from the beginning of April, she felt the ever-looming deadline of school ending in June. She knew it was wrong, but she still couldn’t bring herself to tell Willow that they’d have to be separate when she was forced home.   
  
  
She knew she should - she knew she _needed_ to - but how could she ruin what little time they had left? Or what if Willow took it upon herself to try and talk to her father? She could never forgive herself if she was the reason Willow was hurt.  
  
  
So she kept quiet. What other choice did she have?  
  
  
 _You could be a proper girlfriend and do the right thing._  
  
  
Tara smacked the side of her head to try to stop her conscience from seeping into her thoughts again as she changed out of her uniform and into her regular clothes. It was a Friday, so their standing arrangement to meet at the oak tree stood and Tara was looking forward to just spending the afternoon being with Willow.   
  
  
She had just pulled her t-shirt over her head when she heard the door to her bedroom open and frowned. She wasn’t late yet, and Willow wouldn’t risk being spotted coming into her room. She turned and almost fell backwards, her features contorting into shock when she saw who was walking through her doorway.  
  
  
“D-D-Dad?”  
  
  
“Tara,” James Maclay greeted cordially, though with no warmth, “Hello.”  
  
  
Tara stared at her father wide-eyed, stuck to the spot before snapping to attention as James walked further into the room. She quickly turned the collage photo frame Willow had made her all those months ago - that was sitting on her nightstand – over so the pictures couldn’t be seen and shoved her heart toy under her pillow.  
  
  
“W-w-what are y-y-you d-doing here, D-Dad?” Tara managed eventually, feeling her whole body cower just in the presence of the man.  
  
  
James turned his nose up at his daughter and looked at her with nothing but loathing.  
  
  
“I made an appointment with your headmistress back when I spoke to her about that nonsense behaviour that happened at Christmas. I wanted to make sure she knew in person that I was paying for my daughter to learn proper discipline. And to make her understand how _unimpressed_ I was that she put my daughter in a room with a dirty whore,” he replied venomously, “I couldn’t leave Donny to just tend to the farm on his own, so this was the earliest appointment I could make.”  
  
  
Tara stayed rigid, sweat forming on her brow in terror.  
  
  
“W-Why d-didn’t y-you t-tell me you were c-c-coming?”  
  
  
“What would it have mattered, I’m here now, though not for long. Wasting my time and money being here,” James spat out before fixing Tara with a hateful glare, “I trust that that...behaviour with that...harlot has ceased?”  
  
  
 _She’s not a harlot! She’s the love of my life!_   
  
  
Tara wanted to scream her thoughts at her father but could only muster a meek whisper.  
  
  
“Yes, s-sir.”  
  
  
“Good,” James nodded firmly, “That’s what I came to check. You wouldn’t lie to my face, would you Tara?”  
  
  
“N-no, sir,” Tara shook her head submissively.  
  
  
“No,” James replied, narrowing his eyes, “No, you know what the...repercussions of that would be.”  
  
  
Tara choked back the tears.  
  
  
“Y-y-yes, sir.”  
  
  
James clenched his hand at his side threateningly but didn’t say anything. Tara understood her father’s meaning and her body started to tremble.  
  
  
“I’m going to see your headmistress now, Tara,” James said coldly after a moment, “I’ll return to say goodbye before I leave.”  
  
  
“O-okay,” Tara replied, before wincing, “Sir.”  
  
  
James looked his daughter up and down for a moment before snarling and turning to leave. Tara sank down on her bed, her heart beating furiously in her chest as she processed the encounter she’d just had before she suddenly remembered something.  
  
  
 _Willow!_  
  
  
She glanced at her clock and jumped up when she saw she was super late for their meeting. Which meant Willow would’ve started worrying about her and had probably started looking for her. She couldn’t have her girlfriend running into her father. Even if they didn’t know what the other looked like, she couldn’t risk her father somehow finding out who Willow was and trying to hurt her.   
  
  
With that thought in mind she jumped off her bed and ran out of her room, scooting down the hallways and outside of the school building. She was about to run in the general direction of the forest when she heard her name being called.  
  
  
“Tara!”  
  
  
She spun around and saw Willow running towards her, looking flustered and worried.  
  
  
“Tara, baby, are you okay?”  
  
  
“My father’s here,” Tara got out quickly, “He just showed up. He has a meeting with the headmistress, but Willow, he can’t know who you are. Just...please, he can’t know who you are.”  
  
  
“Uh...” Willow said dumbly, processing the sudden influx of information, “Um, okay.”  
  
  
“He’ll be gone soon,” Tara replied, seeing the bewildered look on her girlfriend’s face, “We just need to stay away from each other until then.”  
  
  
Willow got a frown on her face but reluctantly nodded her head.  
  
  
“Okay. Um, I’ll...I’ll just go back to my room.”  
  
  
“Yea,” Tara nodded too, sighing in relief, “That’s a good idea.”   
  
  
She saw the confusion and hurt on her girlfriend’s face and looked around them. Seeing there was nobody in their general vicinity, she pulled Willow to her and planted a quick but warm and loving kiss on her lips.  
  
  
“I love you, Willow.”  
  
  
Willow managed a small smile.  
  
  
“I love you too.”  
  
  
*  
  
  
Ten feet away, James Maclay felt a surge of anger swell within him as he saw his daughter kiss a redheaded girl through a window. The two girls obviously hadn’t noticed they had been standing in full view of anyone looking through the glass.   
  
  
He watched as the redhead placed another kiss on his daughter’s lips before she ran off somewhere. His fists balled at his sides and he stamped out of the hallway he had been walking along, through a set of doors so he was outside and turned to where his daughter was still standing outside the window.  
  
  
“Tara Elizabeth Maclay!”  
  
  
Tara spun around in fear at the sound of her father’s voice and could only watch as he bounded towards her and his palm connected sharply with her cheek. She whimpered and brought a hand instinctively to her cheek but her father batted it away and harshly hit the back of her neck, making her fall forwards but James just pulled her up roughly.  
  
  
“I saw you, Tara,” James spat, his voice low, not wanting to attract attention, “Kissing that child of Satan. Not only are you still sinning but you lied to me! To my face! I am your father, you will respect me!”  
  
  
Tara had never been more terrified in her entire life. She knew she could take whatever her father would throw at her. But now he knew what Willow looked like. And that frightened her more than any pain she might experience by her father’s hand.  
  
  
“I-I-I, I-I’m-”  
  
  
James slapped his daughter sharply again.  
  
  
“Not a word, Tara! I never should have sent you here, you’re not worth it, you never were. A tramp, just like your mother,” James said cruelly, “Well you won’t be staying here another day, Tara. It’s clear the only discipline you’ll respond to is by my hand. You have an hour to pack your things while I go tell your headmistress you’ll be leaving this monstrosity of a school!”  
  
  
*  
  
  
Willow stopped in her tracks and ducked behind a bush when she saw a middle-aged man talking to, or rather at her girlfriend. She’d left for her room, as Tara had asked her to, but had quickly run back to tell the brunette to log onto facebook whenever she was free again so she’d know everything was okay. She’d expected to see her girlfriend still standing there or be not too far away, but this new man in the mix had thrown her.  
  
  
 _Shit, is that her father?!_  
  
  
She was about to turn and run again before Tara’s father saw her when she saw him raise her hand and strike her girlfriend across the face, Tara cowering when he did so. Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open as she processed what she just saw.  
  
  
 _Oh my god. Oh. My. God. He hit her! He hit her, he...oh my god. He hits her. The, the bruises her first day and the flinching and the not liking violence! And she gets so upset anytime her family gets mentioned. Fuck, Willow, how the hell did you miss this?! Oh god, poor Tara. She’s had all this to worry about. I should’ve realised sooner. Oh god._  
  
  
Willow’s mind continued to race and she winced, a silent cry rising in her throat when she saw Tara get slapped again. She was about to jump up and do whatever she had to in order to protect her girlfriend when she started listening to the conversation, or rather James’ ranting.  
  
  
 _He saw us kissing. Shit. Shit. This is my fault. If I go out there now it could just make things a whole hell of a lot worse for her...but I can’t just let her get hit! What the hell do I do?? Wait...wait, what? He’s taking her home?! Like hell he is! Oh baby, I’ll protect you, I promise, I won’t let him take you. Do I tell a teacher? Even if I do that, they can’t do anything straight away. She’ll still have to leave with him. No, I can’t let that happen. I can’t._  
  
  
Willow could only watch as James grabbed Tara and pulled her back towards the school before she sank down to her knees, trembling.  
  
  
She had an hour. She needed a plan. Fast.


	17. Chapter 17

Tara sat on her bed, numb. She absently rubbed her reddened cheek until she heard a knocking off to the side and her head snapped round, her body following as she leapt off the bed and opened her window for Willow to climb through. She threw herself at the redhead before Willow had a chance to realise what was happening and kissed her fiercely.  
  
  
 _Oh Willow...How am I gonna be able to live without you? I need you, Willow, I need you...I need...I need to make love with her. She needs to know I feel. I need to show her. I still have 40 minutes before my father comes to collect me and my things...Is that enough time? It’ll have to be. Maybe, maybe if I have the memory...of us...maybe I can survive._  
  
  
“Willow, make love with me,” Tara gasped between desperate kisses, pulling at the redhead’s t-shirt, forgetting how she’d vowed she couldn’t make love to her girlfriend with the secrets between them, more consumed with making their final moments together count, “Make love with me, please.”  
  
  
Willow almost got lost in the sensation of the kiss for a moment before registering her girlfriend’s words and she pushed Tara off angrily.  
  
  
“No!”  
  
  
“No?” Tara asked, almost bursting into tears, “No?”   
  
  
Had Willow just rejected her?  
  
  
“No,” Willow repeated angrily, folding her arms over her chest, “‘Cause you want it to be goodbye. What were you gonna do, Tara? Have us share...that...that wonderful, special thing and then what? Hope I fell asleep and then leave me to wake up alone? Do you know what that would’ve done to me? It would’ve killed me, Tara!”  
  
  
Tara’s face was a mixture of shame and shock and her head dropped.  
  
  
“I didn’t...I didn’t think of that.”  
  
  
“Yea, well, it wouldn’t have worked anyway, Tara,” Willow replied, letting her arms hang by her sides, “‘Cause if you’d done that I would’ve been on the first plane to Alabama to find you.”  
  
  
Tara’s head snapped up as she realised all of what her girlfriend had said.  
  
  
 _She knows it would be goodbye and said she’d go to Alabama... How...?_  
  
  
“How did you know about...about...”  
  
  
Willow’s features softened as Tara started to tear up and she moved forward, placing a kiss against her girlfriend’s tender cheek.  
  
  
“Tara, I saw you with your father.”  
  
  
Tara stiffened and Willow wrapped her arms around her.  
  
  
“It’s okay. It’s okay. He’s never gonna raise a hand to you again, I promise. I’m so sorry you had to go through...I can’t even imagine how horrible it must’ve been. But I’m not gonna let him near you from now on, okay?”  
  
  
Tara wanted more than anything to let herself believe her girlfriend’s words but she knew she couldn’t. She pulled away from the hug and sank back down onto her bed, shaking her head.  
  
  
“Willow I have to go with him. He’s pulling me out of school as we speak, I have to go. I have no choice.”  
  
  
Willow sank down to her knees and shuffled herself so she was between the brunette’s legs, making sure their eyes were locked.  
  
  
“I’m giving you a choice.”  
  
  
“What?” Tara asked, her brow creased, “What are you talking about?”  
  
  
Willow took a deep breath. She’d had to come up with a plan quickly and sort everything out even quicker – she just thanked every deity known to man that she knew her way around a computer, she was able to get everything done in 20 minutes.  
  
  
“Tara, we’re on a flight to London that leaves in an hour. And I booked a taxi, which was not easy ‘cause the guy didn’t speak English but I used a translator thing online – anyway there’s no time for my babbling, the taxi’s gonna meet us at the school gates in ten minutes.”  
  
  
Tara’s mouth hung open and she gaped at the redhead.  
  
  
“You’re kidding, right?”  
  
  
“Tara, I’m never been more serious,” Willow replied genuinely, “And I don’t know what we’re gonna do when we get to London. I can pretty much access any computer server I need to. I’m not saying it’s good or it’s right, I’m saying I can. And there’s enough money in my account and my trust fund...baby, we have options. Whether we’re gonna stay there and try and get our GED’s...we both did the SATs last year, so that’s good...we could go to college or we could just stay for a little while and head back to the US or get jobs – anything, really. I don’t know. But I do know we have to get out of here. Now.”  
  
  
“Willow, we can’t just...” Tara said in disbelief, “We can’t just leave...”  
  
  
Willow took both of her girlfriend’s hands in hers.  
  
  
“We can. At least, legally, we can. We’re 18, baby, we’re adults. And I’ll call my parents when we’re in London, tell them we’re safe. Even if the police get called, they can’t compel us to go anywhere. Baby, we can disappear for a while. Life will always be there, waiting, we can still finish school and go to college and get jobs. Just a little further in the future than we thought.”  
  
  
Tara couldn’t believe all the effort Willow had gone to, or how she’d managed to organise everything so quickly.   
  
  
_I could never have to see my father again...all those fantasies about our future...they could be real...but..._  
  
  
“I can’t let you do that for me. I can’t let you give up all your opportunities. You could be anything.”  
  
  
“Dammit, Tara, when on earth are you gonna realise that I’m _nothing_ without you,” Willow replied emphatically, “And the only thing I refuse to give up is you. On us. I know this is the kind of decision you’re really supposed to think over, but, baby, we don’t have the time. We need to be gone before your father gets back up here. Look, I’m not one for advocating running away from your problems, but this isn’t running away. This is starting fresh. And I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy. It’s probably gonna be really, really hard. But it’d be you and me. Together, no one stopping us.”  
  
  
Tara gazed into Willow’s eyes. It was surreal. The entire situation was unreal. Ten minutes ago she’d been facing a life of nothing but remorse and pain. Ten minutes ago she didn’t think she’d every see Willow’s beautiful face again. But now, Willow was there, offering her a very real alternative. Of them. Together. She was giving her a choice.  
  
  
“Us,” Tara whispered after a moment, “I choose us.”  
  
  
“Oh Tara,” Willow replied, near tears as she threw her arms around the brunette’s neck, “Oh god, I love you. Okay, okay, we need to pack, quickly.”  
  
  
Willow dropped down again and fished Tara’s suitcase out from under her bed, throwing it on top of the mattress and unzipping it.  
  
  
“You have your passport, right?”  
  
  
Tara nodded and opened the side case of her suitcase, producing a small cloth bag.  
  
  
“It’s in here,” she said, before suddenly snapping to attention, “Do you need to go pack?”  
  
  
“No, my bag’s outside your window,” Willow replied as she unloaded the contents of her girlfriend’s nightstand into the suitcase, “I’m also booked on the next flight to Alabama tonight, which I can only assume is the one your father is booked on too. I had to have a back-up plan. Either way, I was gonna be heading to the airport this afternoon. No way was I gonna leave you with him, no way.”  
  
  
Tara could only stare at the redhead.  
  
  
“Willow, you’re amazing.”  
  
  
Willow turned and gave her girlfriend a quick smile.  
  
  
“Tell me how amazing I am when we’re sitting on that plane, okay?”  
  
  
Tara nodded and ran off to her wardrobe, grabbing as much as she could and transferring it to her luggage. It only took them a few minutes to clear the room, Tara leaving the school laptop and uniform on the bed.  
  
  
“Okay, that’s it, that’s everything,” she said, before suddenly remembering something and snatching her pillow up, picking up her heart toy, “Can’t forget this.”  
  
  
Willow smiled and moved to softly kiss her girlfriend for just a moment, before picking up the handles of her suitcase.  
  
  
“Come on, the cab should be there.”  
  
  
She walked over to the window and threw the suitcase out, before stepping over the pane and onto the grass on the other side, holding out her hand for Tara to follow. They both picked up their suitcases and ran the 50 yards from the school to the gates, where a taxi was parked, an irritated looking man sitting in the front. They threw their cases in the trunk and got into the back seat.   
  
  
The man looked like he was about to start spouting something irately about being left waiting that neither of them would’ve probably been able to understand so Willow quickly whipped out her wallet and handed him a note as well as saying the name of the nearest airport, only a ten minute car journey away. This seemed to appease him and he started driving as Tara took Willow’s hand and held on tight.  
  
  
“No looking back,” she said quietly and felt Willow squeeze her hand.  
  
  
“No looking back.”  
  
  
***  
  
  
“Baby, you can relax now,” Willow said with warm smile, putting a hand on the brunette’s knee, “We’re 30,000 feet in the air, we’re gonna be in London in an hour and we’re together.”  
  
  
Tara tried to loosen up her tensed shoulders against the aeroplane seat but found she couldn’t.  
  
  
“I know,” she replied, turning her head to look at her girlfriend, “I think I’m still in shock. Willow, I thought...I mean, I thought we had a couple more months, but I thought that come the end of school...I’d never be able to see you again. That I’d be dragged back to that hell I lived in before. I never for one second imagined we’d ever be able to...”  
  
  
“That’s why you told me to apply to all the different schools, huh?” Willow asked quietly, “You knew you wouldn’t be around to go to college with.”  
  
  
“I’m so sorry,” Tara whispered, a few errant tears coming to her eyes, “I kept so much from you and...I lead you on so much. You have to believe me though, Willow, when we talked about going to college together and being together after school and getting married – I never lied when I said that’s what I wanted more than anything. I just-”  
  
  
“Never thought it could come true?”  
  
  
Tara gave a weak nod, expecting her girlfriend to be really angry with her and was therefore surprised when the redhead just raised the armrest between them and cuddled into her side.  
  
  
“Well now I get to make sure it does come true.”  
  
  
Tara closed her eyes in relief and softly stroked her girlfriend’s hair.  
  
  
“You’re not mad?”  
  
  
Willow sighed and moved her head to rest against the brunette’s shoulder so they could look at each other.  
  
  
“Do I wish you’d told me about your home life sooner? Yea. But I get why you didn’t. You were scared. And you were trying to protect me. I mean, if I’d known about all of that we could’ve been more organised, worked out a plan that when we graduated, that’s when we decided to make a new life for ourselves. But like I said earlier, school will always be there. I know you only kept things to yourself because you thought it would be easier not to deal with it. But you never lied to me, not about the important stuff. You never lied about your feelings, I know that. But no more secrets, okay?”  
  
  
Tara gazed down into Willow’s eyes adoringly.  
  
  
“No more secrets. I was just afraid if you saw the kind of people I came from, you wouldn't wanna be anywhere near me. That you’d think I was weak.”  
  
  
Willow just smiled and shook her head into the taller girl’s shoulder.  
  
  
“See ... that's where you're a dummy. I think about ... what you grew up with, and what you dealt with... the horrible things you must’ve dealt with. And then I look at what you are now...so strong and capable. It makes me proud. It makes me love you more.”  
  
  
Tara leant her head down and kissed Willow softly, all her love and affection transferring through her lips.  
  
  
“I’ll make it up to you,” Tara whispered when they pulled away, “For all the confusion and the secrets. I’ll make it up to you. I give you my word that from now on I will tell you and talk to you about everything and I _will_ make it up to you.”  
  
  
Willow sighed happily and smiled.  
  
  
“I just want one thing.”  
  
  
“Anything,” Tara replied insistently, “I’ll do anything.”  
  
  
“Promise you’ll love me forever?”  
  
  
Tara could only smile and nod as she spoke the words with utter honesty.  
  
  
“I’ll love you forever.”


	18. Chapter 18

  
“Okay, so we’ve got the room for the weekend,” Willow said as she opened the door to their hotel room, “We can figure out exactly or at least temporarily what we’re gonna do over the next couple of days. If we decide to stay we won’t be able to go apartment hunting ‘til Monday anyway and if we’re leaving, well...we can work that out later.”  
  
  
Tara nodded her understanding as she walked into the decent-sized hotel room. When they’d landed in London, Willow had gone straight into productive mode and hooked her laptop - which she’d carried on the plane for fear it would get broken – up to the airport wifi, finding a bunch of nearby hotels and booking them into one of them. She’d changed some of her money, but had her credit card as well so she didn’t change too much since she didn’t know how long she’d be staying. She could always change more if they needed it.  
  
  
“I saw a payphone in the lobby,” Willow continued as she dropped her suitcase at the foot of the bed, “I’m gonna go do the parental phone call, get it over with. Do you wanna order us some room service or something? I could do with a bite. They have my card on file so it shouldn’t be a problem.”  
  
  
“Sure,” Tara nodded, before dropping her head slightly, “Willow, I don’t expect you to pay-”  
  
  
“Tara,” Willow cut her girlfriend off with a smile, “I know. And when we’ve figured out what it is we’re doing, we can both look at getting jobs. _But_ it’s also important that we know my trust fund is there _if_ we need it. Now we’re both tired and hungry and I could really go for a turkey club.”  
  
  
“Okay,” Tara smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed, “I can manage that.”  
  
  
Willow grinned and walked over to Tara, standing over her and leaned down for a quick kiss.  
  
  
“That’s my girl. Okay, I shouldn’t be too long. Love you.”  
  
  
Tara nodded as Willow started walking towards the door.  
  
  
“Love you too.”  
  
  
Willow left the room with a smile and wave and Tara flopped down onto the bed.  
  
  
 _Hmm, double bed...plenty of room...I would’ve made love with her earlier. Not just because I thought it was goodbye. I’m ready. I love her. I want to make love with her. I’ve wanted to make love with her for months... ‘When we’re both ready and the time is right, we’ll know’, that’s what she said. Well I’m pretty sure we’re both ready. Is the time right?_  
  
  
Tara contemplated the question as she picked up the phone by the bed and rang down to reception, ordering their food. It was only a two hour flight from Switzerland to London, so they hadn’t been given any food and neither had eaten since lunch time at the school and it was now well into the night. She walked over to the window in the room and looked out at the twinkling lights of the city in the dark sky for a few moments.  
  
  
 _This is where you grew up, Mom. You loved living here, you told me. Maybe me and Will could love living here too?_  
  
  
Tara felt a warmth spread throughout her body and smiled.  
  
  
“I hear ya, Mom,” she whispered into the air, “I know you sent her to me.”  
  
  
“Talking to yourself?”  
  
  
Tara spun around at the sound of her girlfriend’s voice and saw her walking back through the door, grinning.  
  
  
“Just um...admiring the view.”  
  
  
“Ah,” Willow replied, walking over and looking out the window with the brunette, “I promised I’d take you here someday. Didn’t think it’d be so soon but I’m glad we’re here.”  
  
  
“Me too,” Tara responded, taking the redhead’s hand, “I know we’re gonna make proper plans over the weekend but I’d like if we could see the city a little before we leave. If we decide to leave.”  
  
  
“Definitely,” Willow smiled before there was a knock at the door and she felt her girlfriend tense, “Don't worry, baby, it's just the food. You ordered, right?”  
  
  
Tara nodded, exhaling as the jolt of dread that had shot through her dissipated.  
  
  
“I ordered.”  
  
  
Willow walked over and opened the door, smiling when it was indeed the food. The bellboy placed the large circular tray he was carrying on the table in the room and Willow slipped him a note as he left the room again.  
  
  
“Did you get bacon on my sandwich?” Willow asked as she took the top off the tray.  
  
  
“And honey-mustard,” Tara replied with a nod, feeling more at ease, “I know you like it.”   
  
  
Willow picked up her plate and brought it up to her face, inhaling the aroma as she sat on the edge of the bed.  
  
  
“Oh yea. You’re definitely a keeper.”  
  
  
Tara giggled and sat on the chair next to the table as she picked up the pesto chicken panini she’d ordered for herself before suddenly remembering why her girlfriend had left the room before.  
  
  
“Sweetie, what did your parents say?”  
  
  
Willow took a bite of her sandwich and rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“They didn’t even know that we’d left the school. My dad was all ‘so that’s why I was left so many messages by your headmistress’. Anyway after I convinced them that we weren’t playing some colossal prank and not just hiding someplace on the grounds, _and_ after demanding that I get my ass straight back to the school and I flatly refused, they said that if I chose to throw my life away by not finishing my education that I wasn’t welcome in their home. Like I ever planned on setting foot back there again. Well that’s what my Mom said anyway. My Dad said that he definitely didn’t approve of what we’d done and that we were stupidly young and naive and had no idea what we were doing but I told him about you know, the circumstances? I dunno, I actually heard emotion in his voice for the first time like, ever. He said to make sure I took care of you and that if we ever got ourselves in a bind that we could give him a call and he’d help as best he could. Oh and he’s not gonna tell the school where we are, so there’s no way your father can find out where we came to.”  
  
  
Tara swallowed the food in her mouth, her eyebrows raised.  
  
  
“That’s...”  
  
  
“Weird, I know,” Willow replied as she finished her sandwich, thinking to herself that she’d have to hack into the airline system and delete their names from the passenger list, just to be on the safe side, “I guess not even the most emotionally stunted people have no reaction at all when abuse is mentioned.”  
  
  
Tara winced at the word ‘abuse’. Willow noticed and put her plate on the floor.  
  
  
“Shit, Tare, I’m sorry.”  
  
  
“It’s okay,” Tara shrugged, her eyes downcast, “That’s what it was.”  
  
  
Willow moved off the bed and sat on the chair opposite the brunette.  
  
  
“You know you can talk to me about it, right? I know I only found out today that it was happening, which, I feel stupid for not realising sooner, but I’m here.”  
  
  
“Don’t feel stupid,” Tara replied with a frown, “Please don’t. I was the one who kept it a secret. I know I shouldn’t have. I was just so consumed with being happy, for the first time since...for the first time ever really. I didn’t want to ruin it. You didn’t fall in love with the girl who let herself get hit-”  
  
  
Tara cut herself of as a quiet sob rose in her throat and Willow quickly rushed to hr side and pulled her into an embrace.  
  
  
“I fell in love with the beautiful, strong person you are. I can’t even...I don’t know how long it went on or what exactly...” Willow trailed off and exhaled slowly for a moment, “Tara, he never...he never...”  
  
  
She couldn’t finish her sentence but Tara understood and shook her head.  
  
  
“No. It was never sexual.”  
  
  
Willow felt a tear come to her eye in relief but blinked it away, thinking it was wrong to feel relief when her girlfriend had still had to endure everything she had had to.  
  
  
“Tara, none of...nothing that happened is your fault. Okay? And I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you. I know I didn’t even know you, but I’m still sorry. And we’re a team now, okay? Completely and fully. We’ll deal with everything together. Or if you need to deal with things on your own, then I’ll just hold you while you do. But no matter what, I’m always here for you. You got that? This is it, baby, I’m in this for life. Forever. We’re really forever. And everything you thought was stopping that being true before...” Willow gave a small smile and clicked her fingers, “Poof. They’re gone. ‘Cause even if your father somehow finds us, he will never hurt you again. I promise you that, I will protect you with my life. So, you got it? Me and you, forever and ever?”  
  
  
“I got it,” Tara replied in a awe-filled whisper, moved beyond words by her girlfriend’s speech and how she could truly feel the future she knew she’d have with the redhead, “And I will talk to you about it. Explain...everything. But um, not tonight?”  
  
  
“Yea,” Willow chuckled, “Probably enough emotional turmoil for one day. I’m here to listen whenever you want, though.”  
  
  
Tara raised her head and smiled.  
  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
  
Willow just leaned over and pulled Tara into a tight hug.  
  
  
“Always.”  
  
  
The redhead placed a soft kiss on the bridge of Tara’s nose before standing up and stretching.  
  
  
“I’m gonna go brush my teeth, they feel kinda grimy after that sandwich. I hope the hotel has toothbrushes, I think I forgot mine in the hurry...”  
  
  
Tara watched as Willow disappeared into the bathroom and jumped out of her seat when the door closed as a sudden rush of confidence and feeling rushed through her.  
  
  
 _It’s definitely the right time._  
  
  
She took a few deep breathes before pulling her shirt over her head and slipping her skirt off of her body. She hung both garments over the chair, then snapped her bra off, letting it join her other clothes. Another deep inhalation was taken before she stepped out of her panties, then pulled the covers on the bed up and slipped between them and the sheet.  
  
  
She sat with her back against the headboard and ran her hand through her hair a few times to smoothen it before she clutched the blanket to her chest, holding it in place. She waited a few nervous seconds before the doorknob of the bathroom started to turn again and Willow walked out.  
  
  
“They have toothbrushes. There was a white one and a blue one, I took the blue one, hope you don’t mind, it just reminded me of your eyes and...” Willow’s own eyes widened as she finally looked up and she gulped when she took in the sight of her girlfriend, “You’re naked.”  
  
  
Tara looked down; her body was covered but she was indeed naked.  
  
  
“Yea.”  
  
  
Willow chuckled nervously, rooted to the spot.  
  
  
“You never used to sleep naked.”  
  
  
Tara fixed the redhead with a steady gaze.  
  
  
“I don’t want to sleep.”


	19. Chapter 19

Willow opened and closed her mouth a few times as she processed what her girlfriend was saying.  
  
  
“Tara...are you sure? ‘Cause I don’t want to do anything if you’re only doing it ‘cause you think I’m expecting it after you said you wanted to earlier. I’m not, I only booked the double bed ‘cause it seemed silly to have two singles when we could cuddle. Or if... if this is because of some adrenaline rush after everything that’s happened today...Or because you said you wanted to make it up me, I don’t want our first time to be because of any of that.”  
  
  
Tara shook her head.  
  
  
“Willow, I asked you to make love with me earlier because I thought it was going to be goodbye. But I’m asking now because I...I want it to be me giving you myself forever. I want us to give each other ourselves forever.”  
  
  
Willow closed her eyes for a moment as she nodded.  
  
  
“Okay, um I should...I should go out and get candles and um, rose petals and...music, do you want music? I could download some romantic music. I can’t download candles but I’m sure there’s a shop nearby I could be out and back in-”  
  
  
“Willow, I just want you.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes opened and she inhaled slowly.  
  
  
“Well you can have me.”  
  
  
Tara looked between a mixture of relieved and ecstatic as Willow starting walking towards her. The redhead lifted her t-shirt over her head and dropped it on the floor, her jeans following soon after with her bra until she was standing at the edge of the bed in just her panties, suddenly bashful.   
  
  
Tara had seen her without pants plenty of times when they’d been roommates, since Willow had had no issue with getting changed in front of her and she’d seen her completely topless almost every night for the almost four months the physical side of their relationship had included touching.   
  
  
But she’d never seen her completely naked.   
  
  
And she was shy.  
  
  
Tara saw Willow drop her head and begin to nervously play with her fingers. Sensing what was wrong, she pushed her own insecurities aside and pulled the blanket away, letting Willow see all of her for the first time.   
  
  
The redhead’s gaze moved up when she saw the movement out of the corner of her eye and she gasped as her eyes started roaming along her girlfriend’s nude form, her mouth going dry – the moisture rushing somewhere decidedly south – when they landed on the brunette curls between her legs.  
  
  
“Oh...Tara...”  
  
  
Her shyness completely receded; Willow hooked her thumbs into her panties and dragged them off her body, stepping out of them before she climbed onto the bed, alongside the brunette.  
  
  
“Are you cold?”   
  
  
Tara was confused by the question but shook her head.  
  
  
“Okay,” Willow replied, grabbing the blanket and throwing it on the floor, “Just thought...now we can see each other properly.”  
  
  
Tara could only squeak a response as her own eyes roamed down Willow’s body, her breathing becoming laboured.  
  
  
“Willow, you’re...you are so beautiful.”  
  
  
“You’re the beautiful one,” Willow replied as her hand ran down the brunette’s side and over the curve of her buttocks, “God, you’re...stunning. I love you.”  
  
  
“I love you too, Willow. So much.”  
  
  
Their eyes ran up and down each other’s naked bodies for a few minutes until their gazes locked with one another and their lips met hungrily.  
  
  
“Oh you’re gorgeous,” Willow moaned as her hands tried to touch Tara everywhere, “Mmhh, so beautiful.”  
  
  
Tara sucked the redhead’s bottom lip into her mouth and let her own hands start to explore. She was a little tentative at first, in stark contrast to Willow whose hands were groping and fondling every piece of flesh they came in contact with, which she was enjoying very much.  
  
  
“Is this okay?” she asked as one hand cupped the smaller girl’s butt cheek.  
  
  
“Baby, you can touch anywhere,” Willow mumbled as their lips met again and again until she suddenly pulled her mouth and hands away from Tara, “Shit, am I being too hands-y? I’m sorry, I’m just um...really, really...you're just so beautiful.”  
  
  
Tara blushed but couldn’t help a proud smile. She was turning Willow on.  
  
  
“It’s okay,” she grinned happily, “I was enjoying it.”  
  
  
“Oh,” Willow replied, grinning as well, “Well okay, then. But um maybe we could slow down a little? I wanna, you know, feel every moment.”  
  
  
“Sure,” Tara nodded, easily, “Slow is good.”  
  
  
Willow threw her arms around Tara’s neck and moved her face so it was just a centimetre away from her girlfriend’s and nuzzled their noses together affectionately for a moment before capturing the brunette’s lips again, passionately but tenderly.  
  
  
Tara let her hands hold the redhead’s waist and both enjoyed the new intimacy of simply kissing naked. They spent many long minutes doing just that until their kissing became more heated and Tara’s hands began to drop lower to Willow’s ass again. Their tongues started to ardently clash, the duel moving back and forth between their mouths until the need for oxygen became too great and they pulled back.  
  
  
Tara instantly dropped her lips to the smaller girl’s neck and she kissed the skin there before poking her tongue out and swirling it around.  
  
  
“Ohhh, baby, yea,” Willow moaned, tilting her neck into the pillow, “Mmmhhh...”  
  
  
Tara leant herself further into her girlfriend’s body and extended her tongue further, licking from the base of her neck and up to her ear, which she then nibbled on.  
  
  
Willow moaned again. Tara knew exactly what spots to hit to make her turn into a puddle of desire, she’d given her neck the same wonderful attention many times but the redhead craved more. She loved what her girlfriend was doing to her, but she wanted to experience new sensations too. With that thought in mind she pulled Tara’s lips back up to hers and kissed her firmly for a moment before rolling the brunette on her back.  
  
  
Tara gulped as she looked into the redhead’s eyes; they were a darker green than she’d ever seen before. They were both breathing heavily and the brunette gasped when Willow suddenly dropped her head and took one of her nipples in her mouth.  
  
  
“Oh my...oh my goddd...”   
  
  
Tara threw her head back against the pillows in pleasure. They’d only ever used their hands in their explorations of each other and both girls were now wondering why on earth they’d been limiting themselves.  
  
  
Willow moaned as she wrapped her lips around her girlfriend’s nipples and sucked. The feeling of the taut bud hardening in her mouth was unlike anything she’d ever felt before and the sounds of pleasure coming from above were unlike anything she’d ever heard. The combined sensations sent a flood of arousal through her as she continued to suck.  
  
  
Tara balled her hands into fists at her side, her nails digging into her palms as she struggled to contain the white-hot desire coursing through her. She’d been having more and more physical urges for Willow’s touch as the days had passed in the school and had been finding it increasingly difficult to stop when their make out sessions had gotten very heated in the past, but it was nothing compared to what she was feeling now. Willow’s naked body against hers and her mouth around her nipple...it was pure bliss.   
  
  
Except Willow was only focusing on one side. And her other breast was starting to feel the strain of getting no attention. She wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to just ask her girlfriend for what she wanted or if she’d even be able to get the words out if she could. So, unable to take the strain anymore, she quietly brought her own hand to her breast and pinched her nipple.  
  
  
Willow heard a soft sigh from above and felt a movement off to the side. She cast her gaze to the right, her eyes widening when she saw what the taller girl was doing. She raised her head and Tara let out a disappointed groan before opening her eyes seeing the redhead looking at her shyly.  
  
  
“Um, did...did you want me to...?”  
  
  
Willow glanced at the brunette’s hand and Tara nervously snatched it away from her breast, letting it hang by her side before blushing.  
  
  
“I didn’t want to ask.”  
  
  
“Oh baby, please ask, whatever you need,” Willow reassured, before a small blush rose on her cheeks as well, “Was what I was doing...did you like it? ‘Cause I kinda have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing, I just had this urge to feel you like that and-”  
  
  
“I loved it,” Tara cut her girlfriend off, biting her lip, “Really, really loved it.”  
  
  
Willow got a goofy smile on her face and giggled. She was about to drop her head again when Tara rolled them so she was on top.  
  
  
“Can I show you what it feels like?”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes lit up and she nodded vigorously.  
  
  
“Uh huh. Yea, I’d like that. Please.”  
  
  
Tara settled her body comfortably on top of her girlfriend’s, her head above her chest and started kissing circles around her breasts. She watched as the redhead’s nipples hardened into taut peaks without her even touching them and both girls groaned when she finally took the bud in her mouth.  
  
  
“Oh god, Tara...” Willow strained her entire body at the touch, “Oh god!”  
  
  
Tara brought her hand up to the smaller girl’s other breast and squeezed her flesh as her mouth gave the other side an uncertain suck. Willow let out a sound between a cry and groan that Tara decided she liked hearing very much and repeated the action, rolling her girlfriend’s other nipple between her fingers in synch with her sucks.   
  
  
“That feels good, baby...yea...mmhh, really good...”  
  
  
Willow gasped in pleasure as Tara pinched her particularly hard and her hands flew to the brunette's hair to hold her in place. She couldn’t believe the amount of pleasure coursing through her at that very moment and was enthralled by the fact that they were only starting, with so much left to explore and experience. She could feel herself getting lost in her girlfriend’s touch though and as much as she wanted to just give herself over to it, she wanted their first time to be extra special even more so she gently pulled Tara up and kissed her.  
  
  
“Was I not doing it right?” Tara asked, pulling away, though Willow was quick to continue kissing her.  
  
  
“It was perfect, baby,” Willow replied between kisses, “Just had to feel your lips again.”  
  
  
The redhead rolled them onto their sides and tangled their legs together as they languidly kissed, enjoying the simple contact until both felt a palpable ache in their groins and they knew it was time to take the final step.  
  
  
“Tara...?” Willow asked, pulling away and tucking a piece of hair behind her girlfriend’s ear shyly, “Do you like...you know, penetration? ‘Cause um, I know _I’ve_ liked it when I’ve done it to myself, but if you don’t I can focus on just...other things.”  
  
  
Tara blushed and resisted the urge to duck her head.  
  
  
“I don’t know.”  
  
  
“Well did you like it when you did it yourself?” Willow asked, slightly embarrassed to be bringing up the topic but figuring the more she knew the better she could please the brunette.  
  
  
Tara blushed harder but kept her girlfriend’s gaze.  
  
  
“I’ve never...”  
  
  
She glanced downwards in indication and Willow’s eyebrows rose.  
  
  
“You’ve never...experimented with the self-love?”  
  
  
“No,” Tara replied, embarrassed, “I never would’ve dared in my father’s house or at the school...and I didn’t really know...I just never tried, okay?”  
  
  
“Hey, it’s okay, I didn’t mean anything...” Willow trailed off before softly stroking the brunette’s hair, “We’ll figure out what you like together, okay?”  
  
  
Tara gave a small nod, then a shy smile.  
  
  
“I really want you to though. I mean, I really want you...inside me.”  
  
  
“Yea?” Willow asked with an excited smile, “Really? ‘Cause...wow...that would be...”  
  
  
Tara gazed into her girlfriend’s shining green orbs for a few moments before taking a deep breath and rolling them again so she was straddling the redhead, a knee either side of the smaller girl’s hips.  
  
  
“Take me, Willow.”  
  
  
Willow could only stare for a moment as she took in the sight of her girlfriend completely exposed atop her and rested her hands on the brunette’s hips, giving them a light squeeze.  
  
  
“You’re still sure?”  
  
  
Tara nodded.  
  
  
“Make me yours completely.”  
  
  
Willow felt her heart burst with emotion and moved one hand down, her fingers lightly trailing through the hairs of her girlfriend’s mound as she savoured the anticipation of the moment.  
  
  
 _This is it. We’re making love. No going back now._  
  
  
She moved her gaze up and locked eyes with the brunette as her fingers drifted lower and sank into the abundant wetness waiting for them.   
  
  
Tara gasped but didn’t drop her gaze. She felt Willow’s soft fingers glide through her most intimate place until she hit against a bump and a sharp jolt of pleasure went though her.  
  
  
“Oh!”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes lit up.  
  
  
 _That must be her..._  
  
  
She moved her fingers over the bump she’d just hit against and rubbed it lightly, making Tara throw her head back and moan loudly, which in turn made Willow grin.  
  
  
 _Oh yea. That’s it._  
  
  
“Is that good?” Willow asked softly, “Do you want...harder or...?”  
  
  
“So good,” Tara whispered in a throaty response, “Maybe...maybe harder...”  
  
  
Willow pressed her fingers down more firmly and continued her circular motion on the taller girl’s clit for a few minutes as Tara’s moans got louder and more unrestrained until the redhead couldn’t hold off any longer and moved her fingers down.  
  
  
“Baby...can I?”  
  
  
Tara hazily opened her eyes and locked them with her girlfriend again. She trembled in anticipation for a moment and nodded.  
  
  
“Okay,” Willow replied, more than a little nervous, “I’ll use one and I’ll push in really slowly. Is that okay?”  
  
  
Willow wanted to make sure Tara knew exactly what was going to happen since this was such a new experience for her. She knew that touching herself wouldn’t feel the exact same as when Tara would touch her, but at least she had some knowledge in what to expect in terms of sensation whereas Tara apparently had none.  
  
  
“You can do whatever you want,” Tara answered shyly, “To me, I mean.”  
  
  
Willow smiled and twirled her finger around for a moment to lubricate it before positioning it at the brunette’s entrance. She never let her eyes leave her girlfriend’s as she started to slowly push inside, her finger gliding in easily. They both grinned when she was fully inside and Tara bit her lip.  
  
  
“Wow. You’re inside me.”  
  
  
“I know,” Willow said in gleeful awe, “You feel incredible.”  
  
  
Tara blushed and focused on the feeling of her girlfriend inside her for a moment. It felt amazing, but she craved more.  
  
  
“You can use two fingers...I want you to fill me completely.”  
  
  
Willow exhaled slowly and pulled out of the taller girl, pushing two fingers in this time. Tara whimpered, her eyes shutting tight and her features contorting into pain.  
  
  
“Shit,” Willow cursed, starting to panic, “Shit, shit, did that hurt? Of course it hurt, you whimpered. Oh god, I’ll pull out, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry...”  
  
  
“No,” Tara replied loudly, her eyes still closed. The second finger had stretched her completely and had caused a flash of pain but she didn’t want Willow to leave her, “Just give me a second. Don’t...don’t move.”  
  
  
Willow stayed deathly still, afraid to even breathe in case it somehow hurt her new lover until Tara’s hips started to rock gently against her.  
  
  
“You can move them, Willow,” Tara said quietly, the stretched feeling having turned into one of complete pleasure, “Mmhh, yea...”  
  
  
Willow cautiously retracted her fingers and then pushed them back in again, watching her girlfriend’s face intently for any sign of pain or uncomfortableness. When Tara’s only response was a throaty moan, she settled into the rhythm and took in the entirety of what she was doing.  
  
  
“Tara, I love you,” she said, mesmerised by the sight of her girlfriend, “God, I love you, I love you so much.”  
  
  
“I love...I love you too.”  
  
  
Tara struggled to form coherent thought, much less think or say anything. She’d never known pleasure like what she was feeling right then, it was as if Willow was engulfing her completely, overtaking her and owning her.   
  
  
And she was more than happy to let her.   
  
  
She moved her hips a little faster and moaned when she felt the redhead venture a little deeper within on the next thrust before, then gasped sharply when she an overwhelming jolt of pleasure go through her as the pads of her girlfriend’s fingers hit against something inside her.  
  
  
The sheer intensity made her fall forward, her palms landing flat-out above Willow’s shoulders and their faces just inches apart.   
  
  
“Tara, was that...?”  
  
  
“Hmm?” Tara asked, her eyes shut tight as she tried to roll her hips in a way that would give her that intense feeling again.  
  
  
“Your g-spot, baby,” Willow replied, deciding it was no time for coyness. She knew her anatomy and had a general idea of where she was supposed to search for her lover’s spot inside, but didn’t think she could’ve reached it on her first try, “Was that it?”  
  
  
“I...I don’t know,” Tara answered unsurely; she’d read the term ‘g-spot’ in her brother’s magazines and had a very basic understanding of what exactly it was but all she really cared about that moment was experiencing the sensation again, “Can you...?”  
  
  
Willow understood and bit her lip in concentration, then on her next thrust upwards, curled her fingers again and reached in the same general area she had before. Tara groaned loudly, her forehead moving down to rest against the redhead’s.  
  
  
“Sweetie, I really don’t know much about all of this,” Tara panted; loud, errant moans slipping out between her words, “But just keep doing that. Please.”  
  
  
Willow nodded, though it was lost on the brunette since her eyes were still shut tight, and continued in the rhythm Tara was setting with her hips. Neither said a word, both lost in the new feelings until Tara’s eyes suddenly flew open and she gazed down at her girlfriend, looking alarmed and scared.  
  
  
“Willow, something’s happening.”  
  
  
She felt something rising inside her, like a giant ball of heat and tension was building in her stomach. There was this urge shooting through her, a wanting for the tension to release but was slightly frightened by the sheer intensity of the feelings.  
  
  
“It’s okay, baby,” Willow gently soothed, “Let it happen. I’m gonna hold you.”  
  
  
Tara closed her eyes for just a second, collecting herself before reopening them, wanting Willow’s green orbs to be the things she saw when she let herself go for the first time.  
  
  
“I got you, baby,” Willow continued to whisper comforting words to her girlfriend, “Never gonna let you go. Not ever.”  
  
  
Tara exhaled slowly as she felt pressure inside her begin to break and continued to gaze into her lover’s eyes as the redhead softly kissed her. The kiss was all she needed to explode completely as she felt her insides fill with warmth, intense pleasure racing around her entire body.  
  
  
“Willow...”  
  
  
Willow barely heard her name, it came out in such a quiet whisper, but watched as her girlfriend’s eyes glazed over and felt her whole body tense above her while strong contractions around her fingers held her firmly in place.  
  
  
They both stayed in a trance, eyes and bodies locked together for several long moments until Tara suddenly gasped and collapsed completely on top of the redhead, her head burying itself in the crook of Willow’s neck.  
  
  
Willow turned her head slightly and inhaled the scent of the brunette’s hair, gently removing her fingers from their warm cocoon and running her hands up and down Tara’s sweaty back.  
  
  
“You’re so beautiful, Tara. You’re the most beautiful girl in the world. I love you more than anything, baby. You’re so beautiful...”  
  
  
Tara felt herself relax, a pleasant tingling radiating throughout her body as Willow whispered in her ear and brought her back to reality. She couldn’t quite comprehend everything she’d just experienced – not just the physical sensations, though they were beyond anything she’d ever thought possible, but the emotions coursing through her.   
  
  
The love, affection, adoration and passion she had for Willow had all come completely to a head but as well as that, she felt the love, affection, adoration and passion that Willow had for her. The way her girlfriend had so tenderly and lovingly worshipped her body made her feel things she’d never felt before.  
  
  
For the first time in her life, despite Willow telling her on a daily basis for months, she felt beautiful.   
  
  
“Tara, are you okay? You’ve just been really still for a while now...if you need more time you could just move your toes or something so I know you’re okay...”  
  
  
Tara smiled against Willow’s shoulder and jokingly wiggled her toes against her girlfriend’s shin before raising her head and resting their foreheads together, her eyes shining.  
  
  
“There aren’t words...”  
  
  
“You don’t have to say anything,” Willow replied, leaning up for a quick kiss, “I know.”  
  
  
Tara cupped the smaller girl’s cheek and gazed at her adoringly.  
  
  
“Willow?”  
  
  
“Yea?”  
  
  
“You make me feel beautiful.”  
  
  
Willow felt an emotional lump rise in the back of her throat but she pushed it down and smiled.  
  
  
“I told you I was gonna make you believe it.”  
  
  
Tara placed another quick kiss on her girlfriend’s lips.  
  
  
“Only you could.”  
  
  
They kissed, slow and deep for the next few minutes until Tara pulled back and glanced apprehensively down the redhead’s body.  
  
  
“Will you help me? I want to...I need to make you feel as good as you just made me feel...but I um...I don’t really know...”  
  
  
“I’m not exactly an expert myself, Tara,” Willow chuckled nervously, “I’ve never done this before either.”  
  
  
“You did a pretty amazing job just then,” Tara replied and they both blushed, “You’ve...you know what you like...maybe you could just...guide me a little?”  
  
  
Willow nodded quietly.  
  
  
“I can do that.”  
  
  
They kissed softly again for another minute before Tara took a deep breath and pushed herself off the redhead’s body, sitting back on her heels between her girlfriend’s legs.  
  
  
Willow bent her knees accommodatingly and heard the brunette audibly gulp as she exposed herself.  
  
  
“Oh wow...Willow...” Tara stared in awe as she took in the sight of her girlfriend’s core, her pink flesh and downy red hairs. She was enthralled by the fact that she could see that Willow was physically dripping with desire, moisture spilling out onto her thighs, “Beautiful...”  
  
  
Willow was happy to let her girlfriend stare at her – they were giving themselves to each other after all and Tara seemed transfixed. But her whole body was humming with need, to a degree she’d never felt before and she didn’t know how much longer she could handle not being touched. Still, she wasn’t sure exactly to say to the brunette.  
  
  
 _What the hell’s the proper etiquette in asking your girlfriend to make love to you before you explode? ‘Hey, Tara, think you could bang me please?’ God, Willow, whatever you do, don’t say that..._  
  
  
“Tara...”  
  
  
Tara snapped to attention at the throaty sound of her name being called and looked up at Willow’s face, seeing her darkened and pleading eyes. She nodded to herself for a moment, recollecting how the redhead had touched her before moving a hand down and cupping her girlfriend lightly. Willow gasped and jerked at the contact, her head straining back against the pillows and her eyes closing.  
  
  
Tara let one of her fingers slip between the smaller girl’s lips and into her waiting wetness. Willow moaned and concentrated on not bucking her hips, not wanting to pressure her girlfriend in any way but couldn’t help the instinctive thrust they gave when the brunette hit against her clit.  
  
  
“Oh baby, yea, there...” Willow encouraged, then remembered the brunette had asked for guidance, “I like, um...light but fast.”  
  
  
Tara put the pads of two of her fingers over the bump in her girlfriend’s flesh and began gently but quickly moving them back and forth.  
  
  
“Like that?”  
  
  
“Just a teensy bit harder...not too much...oh yea...oh god, yea, just like that... “  
  
  
Willow held her hands over her face and groaned loudly as Tara sent jolts of pleasure throughout her whole body. Touching herself had never made her feel the way she was feeling right then, like her whole body was on fire and consumed by desire.  
  
  
Tara kept her fingers at a steady pace, in awe that she was seemingly able to give her girlfriend so much pleasure. And if the sounds coming from Willow’s mouth were any indication, she definitely was. She watched as a light flush rose on the redhead’s chest and heard a loud hitched breath.  
  
  
“Oh my....”  
  
  
Willow felt herself swiftly nearing her peak and was about to let herself fall when she realised she wanted to feel Tara inside her when she crashed. And she wanted Tara to experience being inside her as well, since it had been such a remarkable experience for her when she’d been inside the brunette.  
  
  
“Baby, can you slow it down?” she asked breathlessly, knowing she wouldn’t be able to control herself for much longer, “Don’t stop, just slow.”  
  
  
Tara slowed her fingers so they were just lightly rubbing over the hard nub and Willow exhaled slowly.  
  
  
“Sorry, Tare,” Willow said after a moment of composing herself, “I just really want you to be inside me when I...”  
  
  
“Oh,” Tara replied with a blush and a gulp, “Um, do you want that...now?”  
  
  
Willow fluttered her eyes open and bit the side of her lip, smiling.  
  
  
“Yea.”  
  
  
Tara stilled her fingers completely and Willow let out a soft sigh at the loss of contact but spread her legs further in invitation. Tara gulped again and was plagued by a sudden insecurity as she looked back up into her girlfriend’s eyes.  
  
  
“Are you sure you want it to be me-”  
  
  
Willow cut the brunette off by reaching down and squeezing her hand.  
  
  
“Only ever you.”  
  
  
Tara cast her eyes down.  
  
  
“I’m sorry if it’s not good.”  
  
  
Willow heaved a quiet sigh and pulled at Tara’s hand.  
  
  
“C’mere, baby.”  
  
  
Tara moved so she was hovering above the redhead’s body again and was surprised when Willow captured her lips passionately, errant moans escaping the redhead’s mouth as she hungrily sucked on her girlfriend’s bottom lip before taking a hold of her cheeks and pulling them apart, breathing heavy.  
  
  
“Whoa,” Willow gulped, blinking a couple of times, “God, I only meant to give you a quick peck to let you know that however you touched me would be wonderful but...couldn’t help myself. Tara, I need you so badly. I just wanna feel your long fingers deep inside me and-”  
  
  
“Willow!” Tara hissed, embarrassed but had a small, reassured smile on her lips, “I’m...I’m gonna make love to you now, okay?”  
  
  
Willow nodded eagerly and used her hold on her girlfriend’s cheeks to bring her down for another, slow, loving kiss.  
  
  
“Just do what feels right. Anything, okay?” she whispered when they pulled apart, “I love you.”  
  
  
“I love you, too,” Tara whispered back before sitting back on her heels again and smiling in a mixture of nerves and excitement, holding up her hand shyly, “One or...?”  
  
  
“Two,” Willow answered, somewhat shy as well, “But will you be gentle? I’ve...you know, done it myself but you can only reach so far with your own...”  
  
  
Tara nodded, looking down at the redhead with nothing but love.  
  
  
“Of course.”  
  
  
Willow kept her gaze firmly on the blue depths staring down at her and felt a tear come to her eye when two fingers slowly but steadily entered her. She blinked it away, not wanting Tara to think she’d hurt her – she hadn’t, she felt nothing but joy and completion at the touch as she connected to her girlfriend in a new way.  
  
  
“Oh Tara...”  
  
  
Tara almost moaned at the feeling of Willow surrounding her, so warm and embracing. She gently started moving them in and out, in the same way the redhead had done to her and felt the redhead’s hips start to answer her thrusts as they found their rhythm.  
  
  
She watched as Willow’s eyes closed and her hips starting moving faster, longer moans escaping the smaller girl’s mouth. Tara desperately wanted to make her girlfriend feel the same pleasure she’d been given and tried to think back on what exactly the redhead had done to get to...that spot...but she’d been too focused on just feeling at the time to have registered how exactly it had been done.  
  
  
“Will?” she asked after another moment, “How do I...how do I reach...?”  
  
  
Willow took a few seconds for Tara’s words to seep into her lust-filled brain but she opened her eyes again when they did.  
  
  
“I’ve never found it on my own, baby,” she admitted with a moan as Tara’s fingers still moved in and out of her, “You can uh...curl your fingers...somewhere on my front...feels kinda rough...and spongy...”  
  
  
Willow trailed off and Tara started curling her fingers on each upward thrust, feeling around for a different texture and frowned when she failed to feel anything different after a few minutes. Willow saw the frown and started to speak again - sure, she was curious as to what it might feel like if the brunette found her spot, but not at the expense of Tara thinking bad of herself or not enjoying the experience as well.  
  
  
“Tara, don’t worry...mmhh, what you’re doing feels so good. You don’t need to – uhhhhhh ahhhh oh fu- ahhhh!” she spluttered as overwhelming pleasure starting shooting through her, her hands going to grip the sheets, “Oh god...oh my...oh _god_ , baby, you got it, right there, that’s it.”  
  
  
Tara’s face lit up; she did feel a coarser area of flesh under her fingertips and delighted in the fact that she knew the pleasure Willow was feeling and that she was the one to be giving it to her. She stayed quiet as the throaty moans and low groans of her girlfriend filled the room for the next few minutes until she felt flutterings beginning around her fingers and saw the redhead’s body was starting to arch upwards.  
  
  
“I’m...I’m...” Willow strained her neck against the pillows as she felt her body tense for a long moment until a long burst of ecstasy shot through her, tumbling to every nerve in her body, “Tara!”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes widened in delight-filled awe; she’d just made Willow reach the heights of pleasure and the redhead had screamed her name when she’d gotten there. She kept her fingers in place until she felt the contractions die down and gently removed them, automatically bringing them up to her face and giving them a curious sniff.   
  
  
She felt a fresh surge of arousal go through her at the musky scent and extended her tongue, giving a small lick.  
  
  
 _Oh wow. So yummy..._  
  
  
She put her fingers completely into her mouth and sucked them clean but found it wasn’t enough.  
  
  
 _Mmhh, I need more...need to taste more..._  
  
  
Acting on nothing but instinct and desire she lay down on her stomach and dropped her head into Willow’s core, letting her tongue reach out to touch and taste whatever piece of flesh it came into contact with.  
  
  
“Holy fu-”  
  
  
Willow gasped in shock, sure she couldn’t be feeling what she thought she was feeling.  
  
  
 _Is she...?_  
  
  
She glanced down and thought she might pass out at the erotic sight of Tara; her hair splayed out over her thighs and her head moving up and down between her legs.  
  
  
 _Oh my god, she is._  
  
  
The many, many times Willow had imagined Tara doing that particular act – and she had notched up quite the fantasy count in their months together – couldn’t begin to compare to the actual feeling. Tara’s tongue was warm and soft and was gliding against her heated flesh in the most delicious of ways.  
  
  
“Mmhh, don’t stop...”  
  
  
Tara felt both encouraged and nervous as she heard her girlfriend call down to her. She really didn’t want to stop, she felt consumed by Willow’s aroma and flavour and didn’t think there was anything in the world that could be better than what she was experiencing in that moment.  
  
  
But she had no idea what she was doing. She’d started on impulse and though she wasn’t regretting it, she was wondering how to exactly go about things. She knew that just absently letting her tongue roll around wasn’t going to satisfy her lover and she wouldn’t be able to do it for much longer without it just being teasing.  
  
  
 _Okay...um...where was her...oh there! Okay, light and fast, that’s what she liked...light and fast..._  
  
  
Tara ran her tongue over Willow’s clit in the same rhythm she’d used with her fingers.  
  
  
“Mmhh, oh Tara...” Willow moaned, feeling almost drunk with pleasure, “Harder...”  
  
  
Tara pressed her tongue more firmly against the redhead’s pleasure nub as she stroked it back and forth.  
  
  
“Harder...”  
  
  
Tara knew she couldn’t apply any greater pressure with her tongue, the wriggling muscle just wasn’t strong enough, so decided to try using her lips instead and wrapped them around the taut bud, sucking softly.  
  
  
“Ohh, ah, yes, yes!”  
  
  
Tara smiled internally and continued sucking.  
  
  
 _She likes it light with my fingers and hard with my mouth...have to remember that._  
  
  
Willow rested her hands either side of her girlfriend’s head as her hips started, of their own volition, grinding themselves into Tara’s face, a fresh rush of ecstasy rising in her.  
  
  
“Amazing, Tara...you’re incredible, baby...feels so good...”  
  
  
She felt the pleasure in the pit of her stomach begin to bubble again and could only smile dreamily as it broke and radiated throughout her entire being, moaning her girlfriend’s name softly as her hands gripped the brunette’s head tightly.  
  
  
“Tara...”  
  
  
Tara felt her own mental exhilaration as she felt Willow come against her and gently scooped the flowing juices into her mouth until the redhead’s grip on her head loosened. She raised her head and started kissing a straight line up her girlfriend’s stomach, through her breasts and to her mouth, their lips softly meeting, Willow moaning and pulling back in surprise at the flavour of Tara’s lips.  
  
  
“What’s wrong?” Tara asked softly, her brow creasing.  
  
  
“Nothing,” Willow replied with a small, curious smile, “I can just taste myself on you.”  
  
  
“Oh,” Tara responded, self-consciously bringing a hand up to her mouth and wiping away the last remnants of the redhead’s pleasure, “Sorry.”  
  
  
Willow bit her lip with a smile and shook her head.  
  
  
“Don’t be. It’s kinda sexy. Kinda really sexy.”  
  
  
Tara blushed but smiled as well.  
  
  
“So it’s okay that I did that?”  
  
  
“Oh Tara...” Willow replied, trying for a moment to think of what to say before sighing, “Like you said. No words.”  
  
  
Their lips met again tenderly, conveying an extra expression of love until Willow pulled away, turning her head to the side, yawning. The action made a yawn rise in Tara’s throat as well and she brought a hand up to cover her mouth as the emotional and physical exhaustion of the day’s events caught up with them both.   
  
  
Tara reached over to retrieve the blanket from the floor and covered them. She was just about to get into a comfortable cuddling position when Willow suddenly spoke up.  
  
  
“No.”  
  
  
Tara’s face visibly fell and she looked slightly shocked that Willow seemed to be rebuffing her after everything they’d just shared but she tried to compose herself and moved off to the side.  
  
  
“I can sleep on this side,” she said quietly, “It’s a big bed.”  
  
  
“What?” Willow asked in tired confusion before realising how her girlfriend must have interpreted what she’d said and quickly pulling the brunette back to her, kissing all over her face, “Oh baby, no, I want you right beside me, never gonna let you go, remember? I just meant no, we can’t sleep yet. We have so much to explore still and I wanna do what you just-”  
  
  
Tara cut the redhead off with a weary but tender kiss that lasted several moments until the brunette pulled back and nuzzled their noses together.  
  
  
“We have forever, remember?”  
  
  
Willow gave a fatigued smile and a small nod.  
  
  
“It’s been a pretty shattering day,” she said with another quiet yawn, “You know, emotionally.”  
  
  
“Yea,” Tara whispered back, her lids drooping slightly, but she fought it, “Willow, I need you to know how much everything you’ve done for me means. No one else in the world...the things you’ve given up-”  
  
  
“Put on temporary hold,” Willow cut her girlfriend off, “And I would do anything for you. You. Are. My. Everything.”  
  
  
The redhead punctuated each word of her last sentence with a kiss before pulling back and somewhat uncertainly tucked a piece of hair behind the brunette’s ear.  
  
  
“I know you already said it wasn’t but...you didn’t...you didn’t feel like you had to make love with me because of what happened today, right?”  
  
  
Tara just smiled and shook her head and Willow smiled as well, giving a small laugh.  
  
  
“I knew that. That was all...it was all love.”  
  
  
“Yes,” Tara replied softly, “It was.”  
  
  
Willow’s smile got wider.  
  
  
“And it was amazing.”  
  
  
“Yea,” Tara repeated again sleepily, “It was.”  
  
  
Willow saw her girlfriend’s eyes begin to droop and gently stroked her hair.  
  
  
“And I’d really like if we could hold each other while we sleep.”  
  
  
Tara chuckled quietly.  
  
  
“Do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon?”  
  
  
Willow gave a small giggle.  
  
  
“In future, either sounds good to me, but tonight can we be facing each other? I want your beautiful face to be the last thing I see before I fall asleep.”  
  
  
Tara blushed, then nodded and moved so that she was lying alongside the redhead. Willow adjusted herself onto her side as well and shuffled so there was barely room for air between them. Their legs tangled together and they wrapped their arms comfortably around each other’s waists as their heads rested on the pillows.  
  
  
“Love you, Tare-bear.”  
  
  
Tara leaned forwards and placed a final, warm kiss on her girlfriend’s lips.  
  
  
“I love you, too.”  
  
  
Tara watched as Willow smiled at her words and her eyes closed, her breath evening out in under a minute as she drifted off into a much needed slumber.   
  
  
She could feel the steady rise and fall of her chest against her own and marvelled again at how truly magnificent her girlfriend was and smiling when she felt Willow’s unconscious form cuddle even closer into her.  
  
  
“I’ll always love you, sweetheart.”   
  
  
Tara’s voice was a whisper in the air, before her lids closed and she too succumbed to sleep.  
  
  
Neither girl was sure what the next day, week, month or year had in store for her. But as long as they had each other by their sides, they figured it really didn’t matter.


	20. Chapter 20

Tara smiled as the last wave of her dream left her slowly-coming-around-to-consciousness-mind. She’d been dreaming of Willow throughout the course of the night; sometimes she’d see snapshots of their future, other times they were just together and on a few occasions her dreams had taken a more sultry turn as the previous night’s events replayed in her subconscious.   
  
  
She fluttered her eyes open, her mouth turning into a frown when she saw the empty space in the bed beside her. She gently sat up, holding the sheet up to cover her naked chest and rubbed her eyes for a moment to rid herself of the last vestiges of sleep. She smiled shyly when she saw Willow appear from the doorway of the bathroom, wearing one of the hotel robes.   
  
  
“You’re awake!” Willow proclaimed happily, her face lighting up as she walked over to the bed and sat softly at the edge of the mattress, “Morning.”   
  
  
“Good morning,” Tara replied quietly and they both glanced at each other for a moment before looking away bashfully.   
  
  
Willow eventually looked back up and smiled.   
  
  
“Last night was amazing.”   
  
  
Tara blushed but couldn’t help the grin on her face.   
  
  
“I know.”   
  
  
Willow grinned back and pushed herself further onto the bed.   
  
  
“Can I kiss you?”   
  
  
Tara just smiled and nodded.   
  
  
“You know you don’t have to ask.”   
  
  
They both moved forwards and let their lips meet softly and lovingly for several long minutes until they naturally pulled apart, pecking each other gently. Willow brought a hand up and tucked a piece of her girlfriend’s hair behind her ear, glancing downwards for a moment before looking back up into Tara’s eyes.   
  
  
“Are you sore?”   
  
  
Tara blushed again and shook her head.   
  
  
“Good,” Willow smiled, exhaling slowly for a minute, “Me either. I um...I feel pretty damn amazing actually.”   
  
  
Tara bit her lip, her smile radiating.   
  
  
“Me too.”   
  
  
Willow quietly took the brunette’s hand and brought it up to her mouth, kissing her open palm before glancing over her shoulder.   
  
  
“I got breakfast. I wasn’t sure how long you’d be asleep so I just got fruit and muffins and stuff but I can call back down if you want like pancakes or bacon or something. Anything you want, really Tara, I mean that, money’s no object, for this weekend at the very least...let me treat you like a princess.”   
  
  
“Youlwysmkeelliaprcess,” Tara mumbled, looking down as her words all knotted together.   
  
  
Willow gave a small laugh.   
  
  
“What was that, baby?”  
  
  
Tara raised her head and locked eyes with her girlfriend.   
  
  
“You always make me feel like a princess.”   
  
  
Willow felt her heart swell and smiled.   
  
  
“Oh. Well good. ‘Cause that’s what you deserve,” she said before jumping up and walking over to the table where the breakfast things were laid out, “There’s orange juice...I should maybe re-order some coffee, the first pot is gone kinda cold, but I drank most of it anyway...would you prefer tea?”   
  
  
“I’ll stick with the juice,” Tara replied, then glanced down self-consciously at the sheet covering her body, “Will, could you hand me a robe?”   
  
  
“Oh, right, yea,” Willow responded, disappearing into the bathroom for a second before coming back into the room with another robe and throwing it onto the bed, then turning so her back was facing the brunette, “Sorry.”   
  
  
Tara slipped the robe on and stood up, walking over to the table as well.   
  
  
“You didn’t have to turn around. You’ve seen me naked.”   
  
  
Willow blushed and idly played with her fingers.   
  
  
“I remember.”   
  
  
Tara blushed for what had been the nth time in the short space of time since she'd woken up that morning and sat down on the chair, dropping her gaze until Willow spoke up again.   
  
  
“Um, I got blueberry. Muffins that is. Although I think there might be blueberries in the fruit salad bowl...yep, I can see one right there...and there’s another one...” Willow nodded with a nervous chuckle, “I don’t know why they call them blueberries. They’re purple really. I mean, they’re green when they’re unripened, but purple really. You know there’s no blue food? Apart from things like M&M's and Froot Loops and stuff, but those are artificial colours and-”   
  
  
The redhead was cut off as Tara reached across the table and took her hand.   
  
  
“Sweetie, why are you nervous?”   
  
  
“I dunno,” Willow replied with a small smile, before admitting shyly, “I just can’t stop thinking about you...about us. You know, together? I never knew anything could feel like that.”   
  
  
Tara tore off a piece of the muffin in front of her with a bashful grin.   
  
  
“It was incredible.”   
  
  
They shared a smile for a few moments as Tara picked at her muffin until the brunette stood up.   
  
  
“I’m gonna have a shower.”   
  
  
“Can I join?” Willow asked jokingly but began backtracking when Tara’s eyes widened, “Just a joke. Sorry.”   
  
  
“No...” Tara shook her head, before smiling, “I just...I kinda need a few minutes by myself to just...process...”   
  
  
Willow held her hands up.   
  
  
“Baby, I was really just joking.”   
  
  
“Let me finish,” Tara replied a small laugh, “Later we could...? Or maybe...there’s a bath in there, right? We could...have a bath together? If you wanted?”   
  
  
“I, I’d love that,” Willow nodded vigorously, almost choking on air, “Yea. I’ll get some candles, for real this time. Make it nice and romantic. And we can...yea, I’d really love that.”   
  
  
Tara walked over and placed a sweet kiss against her girlfriend’s lips, before pulling her into a surprise hug.   
  
  
“I love you.”   
  
  
“I love you, too,” Willow replied softly, closing the hug and resting her cheek against Tara’s shoulder.   
  
  
They started swaying softly as they embraced each other quietly.   
  
  
“I’m gonna go shower now,” Tara whispered, giving a final squeeze before pulling away and making her way into the bathroom.   
  
  
She turned on the shower and let it heat up as she slipped the robe back over her shoulders and stepped under the warm spray of water, sighing softly as it hit her skin. She smiled as she leisurely washed her body and hair, collecting her thoughts and herself until she decided she was clean physically and composed mentally and turned the water off, stepping back out of the shower and wrapping a towel around her body, tucking it in place.  
  
  
She grabbed Willow’s hairbrush, which was lying beside the sink and quietly brushed her hair as she regarded herself in the mirror. She had a bright, curious glow about her. Radiating from her. She was happy, she decided. That’s what it was. Yes, she’d been very happy over the months she’d spent with her girlfriend, but there had always been the looming threat of it all being snatched away from her.   
  
  
But now she and Willow were together - no holds barred - and they had made love and it had been wonderful and she could truly be happy. She felt a new sense of confidence within herself and their relationship and for the first time in a long time felt like the weight of the world wasn’t on her shoulders.  
  
  
“And my girl’s amazing between the sheets,” she muttered to herself, not able to help the grin as she spread some of the hotel-supplied lotion over her arms, and gave a shiver as she remembered the night before, “I can definitely get used to _that_ being a part of our lives.”  
  
  
Deciding she should stop talking to herself in case Willow heard and thought she’d just run away with a complete psycho, she finished applying her lotion and walked back into the room, a small skip in her step where she saw Willow was sitting at the table in the room, the breakfast things having been cleared, with her laptop in front of her.   
  
  
“You gone into research mode already?” she asked with a smile, going over and peering over her girlfriend’s shoulder, laughing when she saw just the facebook browser open, Willow’s profile on display, “Some things never change.”   
  
  
Willow gave a nervous chuckle and went to close the page, but the brunette grabbed her hand and stopped her. Tara peered closer at the screen, making sure she was reading correctly.   
  
  
“Willow likes ‘post-sex cuddling’. Willow likes ‘seeing her girlfriend naked’, Willow likes 'pussy',” Tara read off the last one in disbelief before turning to the redhead, an eyebrow raised, “Did you really just announce our...private things...to everyone?”   
  
  
Willow went to speak in defence before getting an apologetic look on her face.   
  
  
“I didn’t mean to. I told you I can’t stop thinking about us and my fingers just kinda started typing...Look, I can delete, I bet no one’s even seen them yet.”   
  
  
Tara took a moment to look at her girlfriend before giving a half-smile and squeezing her shoulder - that newfound confidence was making her feel emboldened.  
  
  
“Leave them. And remind me to ‘like’ the same things later.”   
  
  
Willow stuck her tongue out between her teeth and scrunched her nose up in giddiness. Tara giggled at the action and was about to say something when another line of the redhead’s profile caught her eye and she pointed with a laugh.   
  
  
“Will, you can’t ‘like’ that, you haven’t even done it.”   
  
  
Willow saw what her girlfriend was pointing at and turned fully in her seat, looking at Tara with wide-eyed hope.   
  
  
“Can I?”   
  
  
Tara missed the look and continued to stare at the screen with a shake of her head.   
  
  
“Well it doesn’t really make sense to ‘like’-”   
  
  
“No, Tara,” Willow cut her girlfriend off and turned the brunette’s head towards her with her hand, punctuating her words carefully, “Can. I. Do it?”   
  
  
Tara’s eyes went wide as well and she gulped.   
  
  
“Oh.”   
  
  
“Please, baby?” Willow asked, almost jumping out of her seat in anticipation, “Please?”   
  
  
“Yea?” Tara asked, her breathing starting to become laboured, “Really?”   
  
  
Willow just nodded eagerly.   
  
  
“Okay,” Tara breathed, with a nod of head, “Yea. That...yes, definitely yes.”   
  
  
Willow really did jump out of her seat in excitement then, latching onto Tara’s lips and pushing them both backwards onto the bed, the brunette’s towel falling off her and onto the floor in the process. Willow ripped the robe off her own body and flung it off to the side before moving her body fully atop her girlfriend’s and kissing her hungrily.  
  
  
Tara moaned, both at the full-body contact and the sheer passion that Willow was displaying, her core tingling in anticipation of what the redhead had asked to do to her. Another moan left her lips when she felt the smaller girl’s hand greedily grab her breast and start to toy with her nipple.   
  
  
“Oh god Tara I’ve wanted you all morning,” Willow said between deep kisses, “So badly. I had to get out of bed earlier ‘cause I thought I was gonna jump you if I was just lying there beside your perfect...naked...Ah, you’re so gorgeous.”   
  
  
Tara felt a surge a wetness pool between her legs at her girlfriend’s words. The way Willow was touching and kissing her was so desperate and needy, still filled with the lovingness of the night before but so much more primal. She had never felt more wanted, more desired than she did right then and could only watch in delight as the redhead starting quickly and enthusiastically kissing down her body, mumbling as she went.   
  
  
“Need you so bad, baby. Taste you and feel you. Mmhh, yea, need you so bad, you’re gonna taste so good, want you all over me...”   
  
  
Willow placed her hands on the brunette’s thighs as she settled between her legs and took a deep breath.   
  
  
_Okay. I can do this. I can go down on my girlfriend...eat her out...lick her pussy...give her head...munch her carpet...heh. That’s a funny one. What am I doing?! Stop thinking of random synonyms and actually do it!_  
  
  
Willow spread Tara’s thighs a little further and licked her lips subconsciously as she took in the unobstructed view of her girlfriend.   
  
  
_God, she’s beautiful. I can’t believe I’m doing this. Where to start? What did she do? That’s right she li – mmhh, what’s that musky...is that her? Yea that’s her..._  
  
  
Willow dropped her head and placed her nose just below the brunette’s mound, inhaling her scent and instantly getting intoxicated. She moaned quietly and continued to take deep inhalations, feeling her desire grow considerably in each passing second.   
  
  
_So good..._  
  
  
Tara was taking deep breaths as well, trying to curb the overwhelming urge to thrust her hips to her girlfriends face. She could feel the redhead’s hot breath hitting against her heated flesh and thought the sensation might just kill her if she didn’t get some kind of contact soon.   
  
  
When there was no movement by the smaller girl after another few minutes, the brunette started to worry that Willow wasn’t just trying to tease her and that something might be actually wrong and instantly tensed.   
  
  
_Oh god, what if she really doesn’t want to do this? She seemed so into it before...maybe there’s something wrong...’down there’...I just had a shower, I should be fresh... Hair? Is she grossed out by that? I should’ve asked if she wanted me to shave...oh god, do I...do I tell her just to leave it? I don’t want her to do it just because she feels like she has to now..._  
  
  
Tara was so lost in her own worries that she didn’t even notice that Willow had already snapped herself to attention and had started gently exploring the brunette with her tongue.   
  
  
Quiet, muffled moans escaped Willow’s mouth as she experienced her first taste of Tara and she gathered up all the arousal her girlfriend had produced before moving back up and flicking her tongue over the brunette’s clit.   
  
  
She frowned internally when the action caused no reaction from Tara and became aware that there were no sounds of pleasure, or sounds of any kind, filling the room. She flicked her tongue again, harder this time but still got nothing so she raised her head, embarrassed and insecure.   
  
  
“Am I not doing it right?”   
  
  
Tara was pulled from her concerned thoughts at the sound of Willow’s voice and she glanced down, her eyes widening in surprise when she saw that the redhead’s mouth and chin were glistening with her juices.   
  
  
“You...you were...?”   
  
  
Willow’s face fell, her eyes looking completely dejected.   
  
  
“Must’ve been completely wrong if you couldn’t even feel me doing it.”   
  
  
“No, Willow,” Tara closed her eyes and shook her head slightly for a moment before reopening them, “I just thought you maybe didn’t want to...you weren’t moving...”   
  
  
“Oh,” Willow said, perplexed for a moment, “Um, I was just...getting my bearings.”   
  
  
Tara looked relieved and exhaled.   
  
  
“Okay. So...I’m okay...down there? You don’t want me to...shave or anything?”   
  
  
Willow was taken aback by the question and gave a nervous giggle before shaking her head.   
  
  
“Baby, you’re beautiful. And definitely no to the...other thing. I like you...womanly.”   
  
  
Tara blushed but had a pleased smile on her face.  
  
  
“Okay. Okay. Sorry for...not...you have my full attention now.”   
  
  
“Take two,” Willow said with a joke, though she was relieved as well, before noticed the brunette’s body was rigid, “Baby, you’re still tense. Do you want a massage first?”   
  
  
“It’s okay,” Tara replied though let out a small moan when the redhead inadvertently squeezed her inner thighs, “Mmhh, that’s nice.”   
  
  
Willow repeated the action a few more times as the brunette's body slowly relaxed into the bed before lowering her head again and licking the length of her girlfriend. Tara very audibly reacted this time, a sound between a squeal and a moan rising from her throat and the smaller girl snapped her head up excitedly.   
  
  
“Good?”   
  
  
Tara groaned and the loss of contact and subconsciously bucked her hips.   
  
  
“Willow, please don’t...”   
  
  
“Right. Sorry,” Willow nodded, biting her lip, “But it’s good?”   
  
  
“Yes, Willow,” Tara groaned again, “So good...”   
  
  
Willow got a proud grin on her face and dropped her head again, eagerly getting back to her task as she circled her tongue around Tara’s clit. Her eyes glanced down curiously when she felt a movement against her tongue and watched in fascination as the hood of her girlfriend’s pleasure nub retracted and the fleshy pink tip poked out.   
  
  
She remembered that Tara had liked a harder touch when she had used her fingers but wasn’t sure yet of how sensitive her girlfriend was so opted to just lightly flick her tongue against the hard nub. She felt the brunette’s hips buck into her face at that and repeated the motion a few times in quick succession before the urge to feel Tara in her mouth got too much and she wrapped her lips around the throbbing bud.   
  
  
“Ohh...mmhh, Willow...”   
  
  
Tara felt her whole body begin to tremble and gasped softly as Willow began to lightly suck on her clit. Willow’s mouth was caressing her so tenderly, her tongue bringing her to realms she hadn’t known existed and all she could do was take the pleasure being so readily offered to her and enjoy as she felt taut pressure building in her stomach. She recognised the feeling from the night before and bit her lip in anticipation of the impending explosion she knew was coming.   
  
  
She felt it just a second later. It started slow, like a warm tingle gently spreading through her body, but then changed course, making each nerve ending burst in ecstasy. A small moan left her mouth, her back arching upwards as her whole body tensed for a few moments.   
  
  
“Willlloowww...”   
  
  
She fell back down onto the bed and her eyes fluttered open a minute later, a lazy smile spread across her face as she relished in the warmth filling her body, absently wondering how she’d managed to go 18 years without experiencing that wonderful feeling before her senses returned to her completely and she realised she could still feel Willow’s mouth dancing around her heated flesh.   
  
  
_Maybe she doesn’t know I already..._  
  
  
“Sweetie, I just-” Tara’s mouth clamped shut in shock as she felt the redhead’s tongue plunge inside her, “Oh. My...”   
  
  
Willow of course knew that her girlfriend had orgasmed, she’d felt her juices flow into her mouth and down her chin, but wasn’t ready to stop her attentions yet. Specifically, she wanted to feel Tara come again; her tongue inside the brunette this time. She felt her own toes curl at the feeling of her lover’s velvety walls all around her and giddily thrust her wriggling muscle in and out until she felt light contractions.   
  
  
She heard Tara let out a long, guttural moan and a moment later felt a thick coating around her tongue. She groaned at the sensation and eagerly scooped all her girlfriend had to offer into her mouth, swallowing greedily until she was satisfied the brunette had nothing left to give. She placed a few final, gentle kisses on Tara’s now quite-sated flesh before moving up the brunette’s body, grinning wildly.   
  
  
“Mmhh, baby, now I really can ‘like’ doing that, except I loved it, like really loved it. You taste so good, did you know that? Like vanilla and, and honeysuckle but tangy, so delicious. Here, I bet you’re still over my lips,” Willow gushed, swooping down to kiss her girlfriend firmly.   
  
  
Tara eyes flew open at the feel of the kiss, having previously been closed as she recovered from her second mind-blowing orgasm in the space of ten minutes and couldn’t help but moan as she tasted herself.   
  
  
_Willow was right. That is sexy._  
  
  
Willow pulled back with an audible pop a moment later, still grinning.   
  
  
“Delicious, right?”   
  
  
“Hmm?” Tara asked hazily, a sluggish but happy smile on her face.   
  
  
“You!” Willow replied energetically, “You taste amazing!”   
  
  
Tara blushed as she realised what her girlfriend was talking about.   
  
  
“ _You_ taste delicious,” she answered, before admitting shyly, “But I like how I taste on you.”   
  
  
Willow nodded vigorously, her eyes shining.   
  
  
“Mmhh, you should. Can we make that a daily routine? Like I dunno: dinner, TV, I go down on you or any variation of that, or any time really, just say the word and I’ll be down there quicker than you can say ‘Willow, I want your tongue to do delicious things to me’. You don’t even have to say anything, we could come up with some kinda code or hand gesture...maybe not the obvious one ‘cause I always thought that was kinda crude, something more subtle like touching your nose or something. Except that might not work ‘cause you might just have a scratch and then I’m tearing your clothes off. Maybe you’d be okay with that though, I mean, you can tear my clothes off anytime you want to...”   
  
  
Tara smiled as Willow continued to babble endlessly about her new-found favourite hobby, stopping only to take a quick breath every few seconds and just let her girlfriend speak, relishing in the fact that they were very together and very happy.   
  
  
She still had no idea what the future had in store for her.   
  
  
But that had been a pretty damn fine start to the first day of the rest of her life.


	21. Chapter 21

 

**Five Years Later**

  
Tara sighed and tapped her fingers impatiently against her knee, feeling quite silly as she sat in the passenger seat of the car she and Willow owned, blindfolded.  
  
  
“Come on, Will...”  
  
  
She wanted to check her watch to see just how much time her girlfriend had left her hanging in anticipation, but she’d promised she wouldn’t take the blindfold off and she’d never broken a promise to the redhead.  
  
  
_What the hell is she planning?_  
  
  
It had been a relatively normal evening for the two girls up to the point that they had finished dinner the sun had gone down, when Willow had produced the blindfold and asked Tara to just trust her as she brought them to the car. So Tara had been blindfolded and Willow had started driving them around the streets of London before parking and telling the brunette to wait in the car.  
  
  
The first weekend after ‘The Great Escape’, as it had become to be known jokingly between the two girls, had seen them deciding that they were going to stay in London. Tara had been in love with the city without even seeing it, purely from the connection she felt to her mother there, but once they both went and explored the area, Willow had been captivated as well and they had started looking for an apartment straight away and had found a one-bed place that hadn’t been too expensive within the first week of being there.  
  
  
It had been the first night in their apartment that Tara had broken down, all her emotion that had been building since they’d arrived in London and before finally exploding. She spoke, for the first time, about the mental, emotional and physical abuse that had been inflicted on her for all those years and Willow diligently listened, holding her girlfriend as she got out the years of pain and sorrow she’d gone through. Tara knew it would take a lot of talking, a lot of cuddling and a lot of reassurances, but that night has started the healing process for her and she was ready to start her new life with the girl she loved.  
  
  
And so they had decided that they both wanted to stay furthering their education for the time being. Willow still didn’t know what she wanted to study and the prospect of being able to go to college was so new to Tara that she had no idea either. They both set out to find jobs since, though they had had to use Willow’s backlog of savings to cover their deposit and the first couple of months rent, Tara had been determined that her girlfriend’s trust fund shouldn’t be touched unless it was necessary.  
  
  
It was in their fourth week of living in London that they’d both gotten a stroke of luck.  
  
  
On a Sunday afternoon, Willow surprised her girlfriend by bringing her to Prose, the bookshop the brunette’s mother had worked at in her youth. There had been seven bookshops in the London city area going by that name and Willow had called all of them, knowing it was a long shot that she would be able to find the right one, but had lucked out on the sixth attempt when an elderly women had answered the phone and known immediately who was being talked about when Tara’s mother’s name had been mentioned.  
  
  
Margaret and George Thompson had owned and worked in the small bookstore, packed with any and all variety of books, for forty years and both had vivid memories of Elizabeth Smith, as a child who spent hours reading Enid Blyton, a young teen captivated by James Joyce and William Shakespeare and the worker she’d been for them in her later teenage years.  
  
  
When Willow had brought Tara into the store that first Sunday, Margaret had pulled the brunette into a hug, saying it was like seeing the girl they knew all those years ago all over again and Tara had almost cried when she saw that the older couple had kept a photograph of her mother behind their counter in all the years she’d been gone.  
  
  
She really did cry when they let her keep it. It was the only picture she had of her mother.  
  
  
Willow had perused the books in the shop for an hour while Margaret and George had told Tara the memories they had of her mother, before the redhead had excitedly disrupted them when she had found an old copy of one of her favourite children’s books. When Tara had smiled at the book and started talking quietly and knowledgeably about the author, the older couple had looked at each other for just a second and before she knew it, Tara was being offered a job. She had almost choked on air before accepting gratefully and rung up her first sale by selling Willow her book.  
  
  
When they left the bookshop that evening, they stopped at the establishment right next door, a quaint and quiet coffeehouse. Willow had been ordering them a couple of mochas when she noticed a small ‘Help Wanted’ sign stuck to the back of the cash register. She asked the barista, who also happened to be the manager about it and when the redhead had been able to spout off ten different varieties of coffees and how to make them on the spot, she had been given the job straight away.  
  
  
Tara teased her that it wasn’t Starbucks. Willow responded that is was so much better.  
  
  
One day on their way home from work, six months into living in London, Tara spotted a ‘Volunteers Needed’ poster in the window of an old-looking building and upon further inspection saw it was for people to help in a center for abused teenagers, to talk with the kids and do things like take them to the movies or for a milkshake. One look between the couple was all that need before they both walked into the building and put their names down.  
  
  
They both offered two evenings a week to the program and through the time spent with the kids, Willow started to become interested in a possible career as a counsellor. Tara had been thinking of continuing with her education as well and so they started looking into college.  
  
  
At first it seemed as though it would be almost impossible to apply to college since they hadn’t technically graduated high school, but after it had come up in conversation with Ira - who kept sporadic contact with the couple and kept to his word of always trying to help when they got themselves it a bind - it had turned out he had a friend at one of the London universities and two months later, both girls were official college students. Willow started a 3-year degree in Counselling and Psychotherapy Studies and Tara one in Literature.  
  
  
They both kept their jobs as they went to school, though reduced their hours by a small amount so they could continue with their volunteering. They had less discretionary income, but they had each other and a roof over their heads and they really couldn’t have been happier. The only thing that bothered Tara was that Willow had used a significant chunk of her trust fund to pay for both of their tuition fees. There had been no choice really, and she’d vowed to pay her girlfriend back every penny, but Willow was adamant that wasn’t going to happen – the money was there for that exact reason, she had said, for their future.  
  
  
The three years passed with no major events as they studied and worked and loved each other. The trust fund had to be dipped into once again just before they started college when they saw how far away from campus their apartment was and had decided to invest in a small car to get them to and from their destinations.  
  
  
They graduated from their university on the same day and on that afternoon, Willow found out she’d been accepted into her Masters’ programme and Tara was told that Margaret and George were retiring and wanted her to take over as full-time manager of the store. Willow was also offered part-time work as a counsellor within the center they volunteered in, so she’d given up her job in the coffeehouse, splitting her time between working on her Masters and the center.  
  
  
Neither girl ever heard another word from James Maclay. Tara didn’t know whether he ever tried to find them or whether he just went back to Alabama and lived his life; the only thing she knew, courtesy of Ira, was that he had sued the school, looking for the return of the tuition fees he had shelled out and that his case had been dismissed.  
  
  
But she didn’t really care what her father did. Her life had started the day she met Willow Rosenberg and he had been free of him the moment she stepped on the plane to London.  
  
  
London, where she’d spent the most magical five years of her life. London, where she walked the same streets her mother walked and breathed the same air she breathed. And London, where she was currently _still_ waiting, now with slight irritation, for Willow to come back to the car and tell her what the hell was going on so she could finally take the damn blindfold off.  
  
  
_I swear I’m gonna just snatch this off in a second..._  
  
  
She was stopped from doing anything rash as she felt the passenger side door open and a small, familiar hand take hers.  
  
  
“Sorry for the wait, baby,” Willow’s warm voice rang out, “You can step outta the car.”  
  
  
“Can I take the blindfold off?” Tara asked, swinging her feet out of the car.  
  
  
“In just a sec, gorgeous,” Willow replied, slamming the passenger door shut and pressing the button on her keys to lock the car, “Just follow me.”  
  
  
Tara obligingly and blindly followed as Willow walked them around the car and then forwards a few feet until she heard a door being opened and they both walked over the threshold. She heard the door close again and recognised the scent in the air, the familiar oaky and slightly musky smell of the bookshop she worked in. She felt Willow pull the blindfold off of her and gasped when she saw that she was indeed standing in the bookstore, but it certainly didn’t look like it had when she’d left work that evening.  
  
  
Each of the mahogany bookshelves that lined the store were topped by evenly-spaced oil lamps, casting the room with a dim and romantic glow. There were rose petals sprinkled all along the floor and if Tara hadn’t been so blown away by the beauty of everything, she would’ve been concerned that she would have to clean the petals up before she opened up the next day.  
  
  
“Willow, wow,” she said lovingly, reaching a hand out a cupping her girlfriend’s cheek, “It’s beautiful.”  
  
  
Willow just grinned and entwined their fingers, facing the brunette.  
  
  
“You really love this place, don’t you?”  
  
  
“You know I do,” Tara chuckled, looking around, “I love it.”  
  
  
Willow waited until the taller girl’s gaze settled back on hers before speaking again.  
  
  
“It’s yours.”  
  
  
Tara looked at the redhead strangely.  
  
  
“What?”  
  
  
“It’s yours, baby,” Willow said excitedly, gesturing around the store, “As of 3pm today, this place is all yours.”  
  
  
“Willow, what are you talking about?” Tara asked, her eyes wide and her breath quickening.  
  
  
Willow rushed over to the sales counter and picked up a large brown envelope that was sitting there. She took the papers that were inside them and walked back over to Tara.  
  
  
“I bought the store, Tara. Everything’s in my name right now ‘cause I wanted it to be a surprise, but I’m gonna transfer everything into your name straight away, the lawyer who drew up these papers is expecting us tomorrow.”  
  
  
Tara gaped at her girlfriend in complete shock.  
  
  
“You...you bought the store? How? Why?”  
  
  
“I bought it for you, baby,” Willow replied, putting the papers on top of one of the bookshelves and retaking the brunette’s hands, “You know how Margaret and George said a couple of months ago that they were thinking of selling their house over here and buying somewhere in Spain, you know, living out their retirement in the sun?”  
  
  
Tara thought for a moment, remembering the older couple saying something to that effect, but it had only been a passing comment. She nodded.  
  
  
“Well, I called them up one afternoon you weren’t at home and asked if they were serious about that. And we got talking and I said that if they were thinking of selling the store then I was definitely interested and they came back the next day and said they wanted to sell. To me. To us. Except I asked them to keep it a secret so I could surprise you. So...surprise.”  
  
  
Willow started nervously wiping the hand that wasn’t holding Tara’s against her jeans when her girlfriend just didn’t move or react in anyway.  
  
  
“Please say something,” she squeaked after a moment, before her gaze dropped, “I thought this was your dream.”  
  
  
Tara snapped herself to attention at the redhead’s sad tone.  
  
  
“Willow, it is,” she said in disbelief, “But I don’t under...I can’t believe...”  
  
  
Willow turned and picked up two books from the shelf behind them, holding them up.  
  
  
“Baby, believe it. It’s your store. These are your books. This...” Willow tapped her feet lightly against the ground, “This is your floor. That’s your cash register and those are your walls. And, and look, over here!”  
  
  
Willow ran to the back of the store, up a small three-step staircase to where a raised platform that currently just had more piles of books on it was located.  
  
  
“You always said you thought this would be a great place to clear out and have an area where kids could just sit and read. We can get in some little furniture and everything and maybe paint this side of the store a lighter colour so it’s all bright and appealing...”  
  
  
Willow gestured around her before fixing her gaze back on Tara.  
  
  
“Our kids can learn to read here,” she said softly before she got a cheeky grin on her face, “We can have sex in the storeroom like I _know_ you’ve always fantasised about.”  
  
  
Tara’s smile broke out in a huge smile as she finally registered the entirety of what her girlfriend was saying and she walked forwards to where Willow was standing, taking her hand.  
  
  
“It’s really ours?”  
  
  
“Yea,” Willow nodded coyly, “Well, yours really, I mean, you’re in charge of this place, I’m never gonna butt in or anything, but if what’s mine is yours and vice versa...then, yea, it’s ours.”  
  
  
“Willow...” Tara tried to speak, closing her eyes for a moment to calm herself, “Sweetie, this must have...it must have used up all of your trust fund.”  
  
  
Willow got a huge grin on her face and discreetly slipped a hand into her pocket.  
  
  
“Not all of it. I had just enough left over to buy...” she brought her hand out and held up a sparkling diamond ring between them, “This.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes widened as she looked into the redhead’s shining green orbs.  
  
  
“Marry me, baby,” Willow said softly before shaking her head, “No, gonna do this properly.”  
  
  
She got down on one knee and held the ring up, smiling widely.  
  
  
“Tara Maclay, will you spend the rest of your life with me as my wife?”  
  
  
Tara almost choked on air but managed to remain composed enough to hold out her hand and nod.  
  
  
“Yes. Yes, of course I will.”  
  
  
Willow squealed and slipped the ring onto the brunette’s finger before straightening up and pulling her new fiancée into a tight hug.  
  
  
“Oh god, Tara, I love you, I love you,” she said before pulling back just an inch to place kisses all over Tara’s face, “I love you.”  
  
  
“I love you too,” Tara whispered, cupping the redhead’s cheeks and placing a soft, warm kiss on her lips before pulling away and looking at Willow in astonishment, “Am I dreaming?”  
  
  
“No, Tara,” Willow shook her head with a huge smile, “This is all for real. This is our future. Together.”  
  
  
Tara just stared in shock for another moment before pulling Willow back into a warm hug.  
  
  
There she was, a 23-year old college graduate, owner of the bookstore she’d been in love with since the moment she’d entered the building and engaged to the woman that had given her life meaning for almost six years.  
  
  
In that moment, she knew she was the luckiest woman on earth.  
  


* * *

 

**Another Seven Months After That**

  
Willow couldn’t stop staring at it. It looked so perfect and wonderful and just...right. It looked right. Her eyes were completely focused on what she was looking at, in a mixture of disbelief and awe.  
  
  
Not even Tara’s arms wrapping around her neck and the feel of soft kisses being placed behind her ear could avert her gaze.  
  
  
“Come back to bed,” Tara murmured, nuzzling into the redhead’s neck, “It’s warm...and it’s soft...and I’m naked...”  
  
  
“Uh huh,” Willow replied, still her eyes still firmly focused in front of her, “Sounds good.”  
  
  
Tara chuckled, before looking over the redhead’s shoulder and seeing what was entrancing her. She glanced back at the bed she’d just vacated, in the hotel room they’d been in since the ceremony the day before and realised she probably wasn’t going to be able to get Willow to leave her seat.  
  
  
_Still...I can work with that..._  
  
  
She grinned and moved around so she was facing Willow, then sank down to her knees in front of the chair the smaller girl was sitting in, using one hand to quickly pull the robe the redhead was wearing open and placing her hands on her thighs, separating them.  
  
  
Willow’s head finally snapped away from the computer screen in front of her when she felt Tara’s tongue slide into her core, throwing it back in ecstasy and moaning.  
  
  
Her body was responding to the touch straight away, just like it always had when Tara touched her. But her mind...her mind was still completely captivated by the words she’d been staring at before.

 

Willow R.  
_Is Married To_  
Tara M. 


End file.
